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Young Writers Society


give me the romance



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Fri Mar 08, 2019 7:52 am
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TriSARAHtops says...



Never completed NaPo before, maybe this year's the year.

contents

previous attempts
2018
2017
Last edited by TriSARAHtops on Sat Apr 06, 2019 6:41 am, edited 6 times in total.
if we wait until we're ready
we'll be waiting
for the rest of our lives
  





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260 Reviews



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Tue Apr 02, 2019 12:45 am
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TriSARAHtops says...



1

dreamscape landscape

tonight we're alone in a dreamscape landscape
if i fall, will you catch me?
downwards we plummet, arm in arm
linked in a reckless descent
or are we flying?
it's too dark to see the edge of reason
i am scared but alive
and you're my wonderful disquietude
am i bewitched?
by you or this world or the night itself
something new starts to blossom
and i've never adored you more than this
alone together in a dreamscape landscape
if we wait until we're ready
we'll be waiting
for the rest of our lives
  





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260 Reviews



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Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:41 am
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TriSARAHtops says...



2

[Loosely inspired by the song Azure by Candy]

four months

it's a clear summer day
and we're grasping at clouds
reaching out for the intangible
and all but invisible
with a stubborn, foolish hope

we're chasing something undefined
counting stars in a smog-covered sky
clinging to the faintest hints of light
dreaming of a future of 'when' not 'if'

we skirt around specificity
four months feels like forever
you've become an abstraction
untouchable and so far away
i fear i'll forget you
my phantom boy and once-real dream

i reach for you
if we wait until we're ready
we'll be waiting
for the rest of our lives
  





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260 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 15020
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Fri Apr 05, 2019 8:51 am
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TriSARAHtops says...



3

let's stay like this always

we hold hands like we're lovers
like we're in love, or at least something like it
it's an intimacy we don't yet deserve
but it's one that i need
and if i knew you better
i'd love you for realising it

when our gazes meet
i notice your eyes
and they're the bluest blue i've ever seen

let's stay like this always

i was lonely and you were lovely
there's simplicity in this
i'll hold you and you'll hold me
we'll steal kisses on street corners
and you'll take my hand in yours
if only for an instant

i'll spare you from any romantic projections
if you give me this moment
of quiet proximity
and a fleeting sense of togetherness
for once i don't need to pretend
we'll have a future beyond tonight
now is enough
for as long as it lasts
just as long is it never ends
if we wait until we're ready
we'll be waiting
for the rest of our lives
  





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Fri Apr 05, 2019 1:17 pm
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bluewaterlily says...



So beautiful and lovely <3 It's very lyrical. I can see this totally being a song. I don't know if that was the intention or not, but if it was, great job. I think my favorite line is "I was lonely and you were lovely."
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden
  





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Sat Apr 06, 2019 5:56 am
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TriSARAHtops says...



@bluewaterlily Thanks so much! I'm not really sure what exactly I was going for, but lyrical is definitely in the ballpark of what I was hoping for!
I was really proud of that line, so I'm glad it was your favourite. :)
if we wait until we're ready
we'll be waiting
for the rest of our lives
  





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Points: 15020
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Sat Apr 06, 2019 6:40 am
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TriSARAHtops says...



4

questions

is it simply lack of sleep
or a general predisposition to angst
over every detail of our interactions
that's to blame
for this creeping fear
that i'll lose you
before i even get the chance
to call you mine?

why am i over-powered
by my propensity for doubt
when i have no reason
to question your sincerity
except for an unfounded intuition
that romance happens to other people
and not to me?

why is the only plausible way
i can account for you
sticking around
is that you are simply too nice
to admit you've lost interest?

am i searching for relief
from the ceaseless sensation
that my heart's in a vice
not yet broken
or even truly damaged
but the pressure's unrelenting
or am i hoping for
an easy escape
from the prospect
of some future
inevitable blow?
if we wait until we're ready
we'll be waiting
for the rest of our lives
  





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Tue Apr 09, 2019 5:18 pm
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keystrings says...



Hey there! All of these poems are really neat - I like the questions format of the first and fourth ones, but especially the latter, as I think you've got some really nice winding/combining of metaphors to make fear/love into such a sentient form. Really good so far!
name: key/string/perks
pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs


novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24)
poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
  





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Tue Apr 09, 2019 5:32 pm
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BluesClues says...



"let's stay like this always" feels like a song to me, like I don't have a specific tune in mind, but just reading through it I felt like I was listening to a song on the radio - I think it's partly the rhythm and partly your diction. I like it a lot! From what I remember of that "five reasons I kissed Hayden Beaufort" story (or whatever, I don't quite recall the title), like just how big a band figured in the story, it doesn't surprise me that this poem reads so much like a song!
  








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