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a study in scream 3.0



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Tue Mar 20, 2018 4:16 pm
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Holysocks says...



a study in scream 3.0


Spoiler! :
I am very much looking forward to this.

I decided to include my 2015 NaPo thread this year, even though it is so cringe worthy I wasn't even able to read any of the poems because the thread itself held enough cringe. BUT it shows some amount of progress, which is interesting, and also it's interesting how my two uncompleted years stop at eight poems. So I guess get passed eight and I'm golden? Let's hope.

'15 shattered glass

'16 the notorious brain-freezers [COMPLETED]

'17 Daylight is for people who don't know how to use flashlights
100% autistic
  





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Fri Mar 23, 2018 6:49 pm
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Holysocks says...



0/30 [Pre-NaPo Poem]

the flood


it's okay to cry for the jug
of yet-to-be-spilt milk.
when the rain drowns you from the inside,
boils through your veins-
that's called being prepared.
when the winds tease the ocean into a rage
no one will judge the lad
at home in a submarine
100% autistic
  





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Sun Apr 01, 2018 3:48 pm
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Holysocks says...



1/30

fools day



when it snows in April
they bring their torches
and pitchforks
to the weatherman's tower
but he didn't predict
the icebergs melting

sunday snow absorbs the din
but you can still hear the scuttling people
as they scrub their faces with bleach
hoping it will remove the stains

and I'm wondering if I could be compared to a cyborg
or a window in the chaos
try not to yell at me because
it takes too long to process why you're mad

and the snow falls around us
as nature's very own
fools day
100% autistic
  





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Tue Apr 03, 2018 4:27 am
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Holysocks says...



2/30


Three Hearts



on the lea
the grass grows through me
rearranging my organs
it trades my kidneys for a heart
and now I have three

3x more likely to get stabbed in the aorta
I contemplate how they'll beat in unison
the ground reverberates my pulse everywhere

but when I'm cut
there's no chance of saving the girl
with three hearts
I bleed
and you wonder if my veins even had blood
in the first place
100% autistic
  





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Tue Apr 03, 2018 4:59 am
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SnowGhost says...



Loving the poetry :) I especially love fools day
Just killing time until time kills me.
  





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Wed Apr 04, 2018 10:54 pm
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Holysocks says...



Thank you, @snowmonkey9! C:
100% autistic
  





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Wed Apr 04, 2018 10:57 pm
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Holysocks says...



3/30

uniquely ordinary


salutations to the boy
in the shade of ordinary
that makes everyone jealous.
he's outlandishly basic
compared to the peacocks
fluttering in the ally,
protected by their toy fence,
that if they squint so tight
that their eyes
look through permanant slivers
they get this notion
he's unique.
they tease him;
their method of
earasing him.
but he's immune to earasers
and dishcloths
100% autistic
  





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Thu Apr 05, 2018 12:48 am
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Holysocks says...



4/30

mother goose was a serial killer



her feathers hid blades and
writing quills
interchangeably
babysitting is more a
cut-throat a business
before breakfast.

don't tell the nanny
I'm under the bed;
she's the monster


the Adult's Guild of Truth and
Honesty doesn't accept
applications from girl scouts
they think anyone under 45
is nameless

we think it's okay to be afraid
of the dark
because after all,
grown-ups are the ones
who turn the lights out
100% autistic
  





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Thu Apr 05, 2018 11:34 pm
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Holysocks says...



5/30

love language



Oh lore,
the stories we told.
I remember in Septemtber
you said 'I love you'
and I winced because I knew
it was dream
and you'd wake up
to the reality
which is me.
eventually.

but November didn't come
and we forgot what frostbite was
until, from the sky,
crystal petals floated down

and you didn't know
they were for you
unless 'goodbye' means
'come back' in our language
100% autistic
  





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Sat Apr 07, 2018 1:08 am
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Holysocks says...



6/30

high pitched squeal of death



I'm being chased.
it follows me into the darkest
retreats in my mind.
a hum- no, buzz- no, screech
so faint, no one can hear it but me
so faint, it's like one billion aunts screaming.
let them out
let them out before the blood
runs from my eardrums into my throat
before my spinal cord snaps from the vibration
and it's too late to do a tap.
please
the inside of my skull is melting
it's going to drip into my brain
and dry and get sticky
like a candy apple
coated in lava
100% autistic
  





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Mon Apr 09, 2018 5:29 pm
Audy says...



Holy <3 That last one is STEEP in tension, girl! The ending actually made me smile though :3

These poems all have a very dark and I want to say (sinister? Maybe not the right word) undertones. The specificity in the use of aorta, the cyborg screaming trying to process emotions, the faces scrubbed in bleach, and then there's the pairings with softer, jovial tones! The mother goose and nursery in children's voices, but their real fears too of being nameless in an adult world! It's been quite the adventure in exploring different themes and colors, these poems and it took my reading them all to realize d'oh! The thing that unites them is the screaming, I really enjoyed that realization :3 What a cool way to explore all the nuances of the human condition. Keep it up!
  





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Mon Apr 09, 2018 7:40 pm
Holysocks says...



Thank you Audy <3 I'm always amazed at the amount of poems that manage to come out at NaPo- it's like they're waiting lol.
100% autistic
  





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Mon Apr 09, 2018 7:49 pm
Holysocks says...



7/30

Vows



when do you find love?
is it between the branches of an elm,
tied in the tail of a horse, trembling on the edge of a cliff?
do you find love when you're young,
when your life has barely begun
or do you find it when you're grey?
do you find it at all?
some wait for love, rather than search. they wait and wonder why it doesn't tap them on the shoulder.
I feel that you have to pursue it.
go through the motions and
the occasional bump along the way.
you have to feel some pain, to feel true love.
but promise me, please promise me,
you won't mistake the pain for love.

Spoiler! :
this one especially I want to fix up- I feel that I jumped from 'scene' to 'scene' too quick and want to spend a little more time on certain points
100% autistic
  





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Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:10 pm
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Holysocks says...



8/30

This one is for the Humboldt Broncos, their loved ones, and everyone who's experienced a horrendous tragedy and/or loss. It felt appropriate to enspoiler it, I'm not sure why.

***

Spoiler! :
seeing people going
I wonder what loss is
for my dearests are safe
for now.
I haven't experienced
the hallow sound of
a palpating heart
with less souls to love.
how it mourns the love
that belongs to someone who is no longer with us- a love that belongs to no one else, a love that's only escape now is through excruciating sobs;
the tear ducts way of screaming.
I can only feel a taste of this sorrow through those around me. I hear their voice waver, I see their entire being shake, and I'm caught between being sorrowful for them, or sorrowful for their loss- the loss of living, breathing, beautiful souls that we were blessed to share our world with.
and as the love searches for them, emanating from everyone that knew them
it comes to the rest of us. urges us.
and we love you
we miss you.
100% autistic
  








sometimes i don't consider myself a poet but then i remember that i literally write poetry
— chikara