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Young Writers Society


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142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142




User avatar
142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Mon Mar 21, 2022 12:38 am
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looseleaf says...



Table of Contents

Day One - Two People
Day Three - 'Artificial Flowers' by Bobby Darin
Day Five - Any Second Now
Day Six - Everything Sounds Better In French
Day Seventeen - death
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142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Fri Apr 01, 2022 8:14 pm
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looseleaf says...



Two People
Warning: mentions of death and illness
Inspired by the fact that I was born on
the day/the day after my great-uncle died young,
but 61 years later. Another great-uncle of mine
also died around the age I am now, so this may
apply to him as well.



Two people traveling
One for a baby
One for a man

Two families huddled around a bed
One because of joy
One because of pain

Two people struggling to speak
One because they're learning
One because they're incapable

Two families having a drink
One to celebrate life
One to ease suffering

Two people being held
One taking their first breaths
One taking their last breaths

Two families calling friends
One calling to say "it's a girl"
One calling to say "he's not here"

Two people at the cemetery
One's hands holding some flowers
One's hands across his chest

Two people at the cemetery
One for a visit
One for an eternity
  





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Reviews: 1735
Fri Apr 01, 2022 8:30 pm
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BluesClues says...



Spoiler! :
I was born on the 1-year anniversary of my great-grandfather's death, so I really like the way you took this experience of your own to make a poem out of it <3
  





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105 Reviews



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Points: 1303
Reviews: 105
Fri Apr 01, 2022 9:10 pm
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momonster says...



Spoiler! :
this is such a bittersweet poem. i love it so much; great job <3
For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.
Romans 6:14 NIV

never apologize for standing up for what you believe in.

previously MomoandAppa, LordMomo, MomoMajesty, and dancingontheclouds
  





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142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Mon Apr 04, 2022 12:49 am
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looseleaf says...



'Artificial Flowers' by Bobby Darin
Warning: mentions the death of a child
Inspired by one of my favorite songs
('Artificial Flowers') being turned down
by my mom


Song playing loudly
About the death of a child
Turned down without care
  





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142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Tue Apr 05, 2022 7:54 pm
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looseleaf says...



Any Second Now
Warning: mentions blood and
alludes to war


any day now
any day now I'll be home
any day now I'll be able to hug my wife and kids
any day now

any hour now
any hour now I'll be ordered around my men who don't know sacrifice
any hour now I'll be on the move
any hour now

any minute now
any minute now I'll have my back turned
any minute now I'll be vulnerable
any minute now

any second now
any second now I'll be out of blood
any second now I'll be home
any second now
  





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Wed Apr 06, 2022 5:57 am
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alliyah says...



Spoiler! :
Hi looseleaf!
I'm totally a sucker for ancestry inspired poem, and I agree completely with Blue, I love how you were able to take something that could be pretty sad and draw meaning and poetry from it. I was wondering if the last poem you wrote was also inspired by ancestry or just history studies you've done? The repetition of "any second/minute/hour now" really gave the sense of anxiously counting down, and kept me as the reader jumping to the next line to see what would come next. Strong start, looking forward to more of your poetry this month! <3
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





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142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Thu Apr 07, 2022 1:00 am
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looseleaf says...



Spoiler! :
Thanks @BluesClues, @momonster, and @lliyah! I appreciate all the nice comments. <3

To answer your question, alliyah, "any second now" isn't based on any of my Ancestry research, but on war and war experiences in general. :)
  





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142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Thu Apr 07, 2022 2:46 am
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looseleaf says...



Everything Sounds Better In French
Warning: mentions of a car crash,
an injury, and death


everything sounds better in French
un accident de voiture
no matter how terrible it is
une blessure dévastatrice
everything sounds better in French
une mort tragique
no matter the meaning

tout sonne mieux en anglais
a car crash
peu importe à quel point c'est terrible
a devestating injury
tout sonne mieux en anglais
a tragic death
peu importe le sens
  





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142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Mon Apr 18, 2022 1:01 am
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looseleaf says...



death
Warning: it's in the title

do we have to go through this
every single time? you're
always asking when
they will come home.
honey, they never will.
  





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Tue Apr 19, 2022 2:47 am
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Shady says...



Spoiler! :
I love all of these! I especially like Everything Sounds Better In French -- it was really clever! I am entirely too lazy to Google Translate so was kind of limping along with the first stanza on the rudimentary French knowledge that I have to get the gist, but then the second stanza just absolutely sold it with flipping the languages. Amazing job! I don't know what your goal is, but best of luck meeting it! You're doing so well! <3

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Tue Jan 10, 2023 7:23 am
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tunasubstance says...



looseleaf wrote:
death
Warning: it's in the title

do we have to go through this
every single time? you're
always asking when
they will come home.
honey, they never will.

Love this. It's sad in my understanding, but it can be the opposite in someone else's
  





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142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Tue Jan 10, 2023 5:45 pm
looseleaf says...



thank you, @tunasubstance! i appreciate it!
  








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