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Decided (Thelostone and TaylorLove)



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Sat Mar 15, 2014 8:54 pm
thelostone says...



Theo

"So," I said when we got back to the apartment. "What do you think about all that?"

"I think if anyone is worthy of our trust, it's them." Kat sighed, sealing up the last of the cardboard boxes with tape. "I think that if they're right, that something bigger really is happening, then we have a responsibility to fight back." She set the box on top of another and looked up at me. "Why? Do you think differently?"

I shook my head. "No, I agree. However, a rebellion the scale of what they're planning.. it's unheard of. Lots of people are going to die, Kat. Including us."

"You think we're going to die?" She took a step closer to me and there wasn't a glimpse of fear in her eyes.

"I think it's very likely." I admitted. "I doubt both of us will come out of this unscathed."

"We're dead either way, aren't we?" Kat's voice lowered. "I'd rather die trying to make a difference than die knowing I could've done something and I didn't."

"Are you prepared to let others die for you?"

"Are you implying you would die for me?" She asked, a little smile playing across her face.

I reached out and stroked her cheek with my thumb. "I might be inclined to do so." I whispered. "People are going to die, Kat. It's inevitable. People you don't know, people you care about-"

"I won't let my family join the resistance." She said, and I let my hand drop to my side. "They won't even know about it."

"They'll know about it when they find out you've died."

"The service will cover it up." Kat murmured. "They always do. They'll make it look like I drowned or got in a wreck."

"What if the plan doesn't work and you aren't lucky enough to die?" I said, my voice hardly a whisper. "They'll target who you love first. Are you prepared to watch your family die for the good of the country?"

Kat chewed on her lip and took in a deep breath. "Are you trying to get me to stay out of this? Did you forget the part where the service has a hit list and we're on it? Theo, this is our chance to stand up, to fight back. I'm not going to sit here waiting to die when I could be fighting for what is right."

"I'm not trying to stop you from doing this." I said. "I just want you to realize that people are going to get hurt, we're going to get hurt, and that it's not going to be easy."

"I know, Theo." She said so softly I almost didn't hear what she said. "Everyone dies, but not everyone lives. This-" she gestured to everything around her. "This isn't living. This is surviving. As long as the service is in control, everyone is just surviving. I don't want to just survive anymore, Theo, I want to live and god dammit, I'm going to fight for it."
maybe hell is just rewinding home movies





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Sun Mar 16, 2014 5:54 pm
TaylorLove says...



Kat

"I just can't live like this anymore. I am tired of pretending that this shitty world we live in is good. It's not, it's hell..." I was going to say more but Theo pulled me to him.

"You're right, I know. I want that too. I just know how you get. You don't think about things and then you get hurt. I just need you to know what could happen." He said.

I would be offended by that statement but it was too true to deny. "I understand." I look up at him and sigh. In the back of my mind there was a voice in my head saying that I needed to guard my heart. I look away and move over to a box. "Then movers are going to be here any moment." I tell him.

"Yes they will." He said and sure enough there was a knock at the door. I sighed and opened it. Everyone was making me paranoid. The movers were no members of the Service, but I was still a little scared. After Theo's talk with me I was more scared than I was willing to admit to myself. I was good at acting brave, but I really wasn't.

We got into a car behind the moving truck. When you move into your first house, you get a car as well. Theo drove us to out new house and I was really hoping he would like it.

We pulled into the driveway and got out. I smiled and got out, darting into the house. Theo came in after me and sighed. "You know, I thought you would really fuck up this decision. I actually think you did good shit-head." He said and I sighed.

"Not the meanest thing you ever said." I mumble. "I am glad you think say." Audible enough for him to hear.

The movers unpack all the boxes into the house and then they leave without saying a word and before I could say thank you. I sighed and locked the doors. I thought about how sad it was that we live in a world where I was afraid to leave my door unlocked because I was worried that the government was going to sneak in and murder us in our sleep.

Chills ran down my spine, but I forced myself to turn around and unpack at least a few boxes. "You okay?" He asked.

I nod, not making eye contact with him. "Yep, just a little cold." I say.

He walks over to the wall and turns the air conditioning down. "That should help some, shit-head." He said.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Why do you do that?" I asked.

He looks at me like he has no idea what I am talking about. "What?"

"Do something nice and then add something rude to the end? It is a little obnoxious." I said.

"I am rude, get over it." He said, he walked into the bedroom and sighed. "I am done for the night, it is getting late. We can worry about unpacking tomorrow."

I nod and set down then things I was holding in my hand. I find the box that was holding our clothes and bring it into the bedroom. Taking out shorts and a T-Shirt and walk into the bathroom.

The house was filled with windows so I looked outside at the ocean. Just the sight of it made me fill relaxed. The weather on the other hand, did not have the same effect. The sky was totally grey and it was going to storm soon. I have never liked storms.

After I change, I walk out and see Theo already in bed. I lay down next to him and sigh. Reaching over, I turn the lights off. Without words, Theo pulls me into his chest. I do not object or reply. I just curl up to him, trying to ignore all my fears.
Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart
-Winnie the Pooh





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Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:13 pm
thelostone says...



Theo

I always loved the sound of storms, so when one began I stared at the ceiling listening to the rain pound against the roof. Kat had one arm slung across my stomach, clutching me like a teddy bear. Each time the thunder boomed overhead, she trembled a little more violently until she finally got up and scurried to the bathroom.

I heard the shower turn on and I glanced over at the clock. Why in the hell is she taking a shower at two in the morning? Another rumble of thunder shook the house and I threw the blankets off of me, walking towards the bathroom.

"Kat?" I said through the door. "What the hell are you doing taking a shower right now? Is everything okay?"

"I-I-I'm not taking-" She cleared her throat and continued. "I'm fine." I waited outside the door for a moment before barging in. Through the steam from the shower, I could see Kat was on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. I could tell she was about to cry. "God dammit, Theo!" She trembled. "I-I told you I was f-fine." With a flash of lightning, the room flooded with light despite the towel Kat must've hung over the window. I watched as she squeezed her eyes shut and a tear slipped between her dark eyelashes.

"Clearly." I said. It came out more vicious than I had meant it and she threw the closest object, a damp towel, at my face. "Hey, I was kidding." I held my hands up in surrender and unsuccessfully dodged it. She glared then buried her head. I carefully stepped around her and turned off the shower. "It's dangerous to take a shower during a storm." I teased and flipped on the fan. Kat ignored me.

"Please, just go away." She sobbed, the fabric by her knees were wet from her tears.

"I don't understand." I said, sitting next to her. "What's going on? Are you scared of the storm?" No response. "Why did you turn the shower on?"

"I t-thought I could trick myself into thinking it w-was the shower." She pressed her thumbs under her eyes and wiped away her tears. "God, look at me. I'm pathetic."

"No, you're not." I said softly. I ran my fingers over her white knuckles until she let go of her leg enough to let me hold one of her hands. "You shouldn't be ashamed of your fears. Even if it is as petty as a storm." She brought her head up and held up her hand to hit me but I caught it in the air. "Kidding!" I laughed lightly but it took a moment for the tension to leave her body. I let go of her arms but put my hand on her cheek when she tried to hide her face again. Another flash of lightning and she jumped. "It's okay." I whispered, although I wasn't sure if she heard me above the rain pouring down. I held her face in my hands and kissed her. Her lips were salty from her tears and for a moment, the tension disappeared as our lips touched. However, when thunder rumbled through the sky she pulled away and trembled. I kissed her forehead then got up.

"Please," She croaked. "Don't leave."

"I'm not." I assured her. I climbed on the edge of the tub and as soon as Kat realized what I was doing she practically screamed at me.

"Stop it!" She cried. "Theo, don't!"

"Have you ever actually watched a storm before?" I asked, slowly removing the towel from the window.

"No, please just stop." Kat sobbed.

"Trust me," I said. "Please." She didn't protest but she didn't agree. I took the towel off and cracked open the window just a smidge. I held out my hand towards Kat but she shook her head. "Kat, please. Trust me." She closed her eyes and stood up. With a deep breath she opened her eyes and took my hand. She stepped into the bathtub and buried her face in my chest. "It's okay." We sat down in the empty bathtub and looked out the window. The air was humid and the sound of falling rain was louder now. "Now, watch as the lightning hits the ground." I murmured in Kat's ear. "It looks like magic. When Ellie was little, she used to think there was a wizard in the sky casting spells on the people below." I smiled a little at the memory.

"I don't like this." She mumbled in my shirt.

"Look, you're going to miss it." I said. She slowly brought her head up and looked out the window with me. It didn't take long before another strike hit the ground. She jumped and clenched a handful of my shirt in her hand, but didn't close her eyes. "See?"

She nodded and brought her lips to mine. She kissed me sweetly and I kissed her back even though the little voice in the back of my head still told me it was dangerous. Kat stopped trembling and eventually fell asleep on my chest. I gently scooped her up and carried her back to the bed. I closed my eyes and fell asleep to the sound of the rain drizzling and the thought of Ellie.
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Thu Mar 20, 2014 2:06 am
TaylorLove says...



Kat

I woke up in the best way possible. I was wrapped in Theo's arms and I liked it. I wish it could always be like this, but in the back of my mind, a voice told me that I was wrong. I wanted that stupid, relentless voice to go away, for to be wrong. But as much as I wanted everything to okay, I knew it was probably not going to stay like this for a long time.

I kissed his forehead to wake him up. "Wakeup Theo. We have training today." I say getting out of bed. I hop into the shower and let the water take over my body. It was the steamy water felt nice against my skin. I hopped out and wrapped up in a towel. I saw that Theo was waiting on me to get out. "It's all yours."

"Thanks." He mumbled. While he was in the shower, I went into our room to change. I changed into a black mid drift top and some short shorts. I let my hair air dry as I walked into the kitchen. I grabbed an apple and bit into it as I walked out onto the beach. The sand was soft between my toes and this felt perfect. I tried not to think about the craziness in my life. I tried not to think about the service or my problems with Theo. I tried, even if for a moment, to believe that everything was okay. I tried to believe that he really had a least some feelings for me.

Even though last night was a lot for me to handle, I was glad it happened. Theo does care about me a little. Even if he does not admit it, which how probaly would not, he does. It made it even more clear that I care about him too. I trusted him. He makes it impossible for me not to cave in to his will. If he ever figured that out, he would never let me live that down.

I heard him come out, but I did not turn around. "We have to go." He says.

I nod and walk inside. I slip on my combat boots and we head out the door.

--

We arrived at the underground station and everyone gathered around Derek and Kai. I still hated that girl. I could not deny that she was a lot more beautiful than I was. I did not let that get to me though. I was going to try to contian my temper. I was not going to snap.

"Alright, we are going to do simple target practice. We will do a simple test to see where you are and go from there. If we see that you are above average on your ability to shoot, you will move on to hand and hand combat." Derek said. "Kai will be testing you on your shooting ability and I will be working with you on hand and hand combat." Derek said.

"Line up." She yelled. Gosh I hate her.

"Let the games begin." I mummble. I was pretty good at shooting and not to bad at fighting, but for some reason, I had the feeling that was not going to be good enough for target pratice.
Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart
-Winnie the Pooh





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Sat Mar 22, 2014 7:21 pm
thelostone says...



Theo

I grabbed a small compact pistol from the cart full of weapons and smirked towards Kat. She cocked an eyebrow and took it as a challenge. Her hair swung in her pony tail as she strode to the weapons cart. She picked up a larger gun and grinned, walking next to me. Outlines of people were hung up across the room and we were stationed five feet away from each other. The outlines had rings, much like a target.

"Ready?" I asked Kat. She nodded and took her aim. With a loud bang, a hole appeared on the left shoulder of the outline across from her. "Not bad."

"You think you can do better?" She laughed.

"Hell yeah, I can." I held the black pistol out in front of me and closed one of my eyes. I focused on the head of the target. I took in a breath then pulled the trigger. It wasn't exactly where I wanted it to go, but it did go straight through his chest. I cracked my neck and winked at Kat. She rolled her eyes and took another shot at her target. I noticed the guy next to me had hit the target three times straight in between the eyes. "Damn, nice shot."

"Thanks." His chocolate colored skin glistened with sweat. He used the back of his hand to wipe it off. "Koda."

"Theo." I nodded towards him.

"I know who you are." Koda chuckled and reloaded his gun. "They've got my family. The service, I mean. I'm gonna blow those bastards out of the water."

"I'll help ya." I grinned. "But I'll be of more assistance if you teach me how to shoot like that."

"The trick is to keep your eyes open. Keep them open and make sure your hands are steady. It helps if you breathe." He held the gun out and fired it.

I nodded and tried his advice, smiling when I shot the head of the target.

"Alright everyone!" Derek yelled. "Listen up, we're moving on to hand to hand combat. Kai and I will be demonstrating some simple offensive and defensive moves then you'll be trying it out yourselves." We gathered around the stage and watched as they showed how to throw simple punches without injuring yourself and other maneuvers.

"First up will be the ladies."Kai grinned. "Whoever Derek picks first will be sparing me."

I glanced over at Kat. Her glare was intense and focused. Derek surveyed the crowd and smirked when he got to Kat. He jerked his head, indicating her to walk up to the stage. She cracked her knuckles and strutted up to the stage.

"This'll be good." Koda mumbled.
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Sun Mar 23, 2014 12:42 am
TaylorLove says...



Kat

I suppress a laugh and strut onto the stage. I look at Theo, whose eyes were locked on me and I winked at him. "This hardly seems fair." Kia said to Derek.

I snap out of my daze and look at them. "I know, I hate that I am going to leave you in so much pain and embarrass you." I say back to her.

She got in my face, thinking that she was intimidating me. Her bad breath was the only thing that made me want to back away. "You seem to have forgotten that I beat you ass yesterday."

I back her up. "Well I can promise you, that won't happen again." I smirk.

"Ladies, Ladies." Derek said pulling us apart. "Back up and assume position." He said. We did so, glaring at each other. I cannot wait to tear that pretty face of her's up. "On my count." He stated.

I took a deep breath. I was always the first to attack and that was not going to change. "Now." he shouted and I lunged at her. She was not expecting it and she was too slow to move out of the way. I punched her hard in the throat.

She moved back and once she regained breath, in returned lunged at me. Just as her fist was about to hit hard into my face, I ducked. Grabbing her arm, I flipped her onto the mat. "Bitch!" She cried out.

"That's what they call me." I said.

She swung she legs and knocked me onto the mat. She quickly got on top of me. I kneaded her hard in the stomach and pushed her off of me. Getting up as she did, I tried to attack fast. I kicked her hard in the stomach and then punched her square in the jaw.

She got a few punches in, but that just made me more angry. I guarded her punched and, in return, sent a few punched square in her jaw. To finish off my beautiful work, I kneed her in the right spot, sending pain down her leg. She fell to the ground she tapped out. I looked at Theo and he was smirking at me.

I slowly whipped the glow off my forehead. Derek instructed me to go back into the crowd and so I did. I went back to Theo and Koda. "Sexy." He said.

"Always." I say.

Koda looked at me. "It looks like you enjoyed your self." He laughed.

"So much." I say.
Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart
-Winnie the Pooh





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Mon Mar 24, 2014 2:53 am
thelostone says...



Theo

Due to the rations, an empty fridge stared back at me after training. "Fuck." I frowned and closed it. Kat scowered the cabinets.

"Ah hah!" She exclaimed and pulled out a half empty jar of peanut butter and a bag of vanilla wafer cookies. Her eyes sparkled as she greedily twisted off the lid and scooped out peanut butter with her finger.

"Hey!" I laughed, grabbing it out of her hand and carrying it over to the couch. "Sharing is caring."

"Who says I care about you, Theodore King?" She smiled, sitting on the other end of the couch by my feet.

"I have a hunch." I grinned back. We took turns dipping the cookies into the peanut butter, passing it back and forth. "You kicked ass today at training," I said, licking the peanut butter off my knuckle. "More specifically, Kai's ass."

"I know," she popped a cookie in her mouth and smiled triumphantly.

"You still don't like her, do you?" I asked. She shook her head. "Is it because of the other day?"

Kat shrugged. "I just don't like her."

I smirked and set the jar down on the coffee table. "Are you sure it isn't because you're jealous?" I crawled on top of her, making her breathing pick up pace.

"What would I be jealous of?" She whispered and ran her thumb over my bottom lip.

"Us," I murmured in her ear, letting my lips graze over her skin. "Me and her. It's okay to be jealous. I didn't like seeing you with Derek. I'm the only one who is allowed to touch you like that."

"I don't think you're qualified to make those assumptions, Mr King." Kat arched an eyebrow and slipped her hands under my shirt, running them down my abs.

"I know what I do to you, Kaitlin Thompson." I whispered while planting little kisses on her jawline and along her collar bone. "And I know no one else can make you feel like this, especially Derek."

"How do you know what I feel like?" She said softly, closing her eyes when my lips found the skin at the base of her neck.

"You're quivering." I said, a smile playing at the sides of my mouth. "Whenever I touch you, you get nervous like a little girl before her first kiss."

"I'm not a little girl," Kat's voice got louder in defense but then quieted again. She tugged my shirt off and her fingers danced along my skin.

"Trust me, I know." I breathed before crashing my lips against hers. The kiss was rough at first, both of our mouths fighting each other, then Kat broke away to catch her breath.

"You said, you know what you do to me," she said breathlessly. "But what do I do to you?"

"You drive me fucking insane, woman." I said, taking her shirt off. "Every damn thing your sexy little ass does brings me to my knees." She wriggled out from under me and crawled into my lap, tossing her hair over her shoulder before kissing my Adam's apple.

"Good." She murmured then brought her lips to mine. It was softer, less filled with need and more filled with passion. I could taste the peanut butter on her lips and pulled the small of her back closer to me.

"You're something else, Kat." I grinned then kissed her again.
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Mon Mar 24, 2014 11:42 pm
TaylorLove says...



Kat

His grin was contagious. I could not help but smile into the kiss. "Believe me, I know." I mumble, mimicking him.

He picked me up effortlessly and laid brought me into the bedroom. Gently tossed me onto the bed and then, like before, he got on top of me. He kissed down my neck and I moaned, closing my eyes. My moan set him off and he was soon back up to my lips. I was joyfully overwhelmed by the passion.

I rolled over and I was now on top of him. I kissed him hard, but not eagerly. He was right. He makes me nervous. Normally, I would force on another emotion, but I liked it. He is the only person that could give me that feeling in my stomach and make my heart quicken.

--

I woke up the next morning with the sheet wrapped around my bare chest. Usually when this kind of think happens I have a hangover, but not this morning. This was a lot better.

I scanned the room for my bra. Once I caught sight of it, I wiggled out of his arms. Hooking it into place, I walk to the closet to put some short shorts on. Theses, were really short. I was too lazy to put a shirt on, so I didn't.

I walk over to the bed to wake Theo up. "Theo. Wake up, we have to go." I said softly. He did not even budge. "Theo, wake up." I said a little louder. I repeated his name a few times. I leaned down and kissed and felt his grin against my lips.

"Your too easy." He laughed.

I gasp. "I, sir, am not easy." I say to him.

"Well you gave me what I wanted." He said getting out of bed and standing up, forcing me to look up to him.

"Who's to say that was not what I wanted as well?" I say poking his bare chest. "I always get what I want." I wink.

He pulled me closer and like always, my heart quicken. "And what do you want Kaitlin?" He whispered in my ear.

"Nothing can be fun with out a few secrets." I whisper back, my hands dancing along his chest. I knew that if I stayed right there for another second, we would go back to right where we were last night. I pulled away and went to the closet. I grabbed a loose fitting tank top. and slipped my combat boots on. "Hurry we need to leave." I say. "I think the guys are fighting today. That should be a show."
Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart
-Winnie the Pooh





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Tue Mar 25, 2014 9:37 pm
thelostone says...



Theo

When we arrived at the base, I spotted Koda over in the corner looking at something. I motioned to Kat and we joined him.

"Derek is going to get his ass beat." He chuckled and pointed to their names which were next to each other on the roster.

"Are these the line ups?" Kat asked, reading the list. "Who are you fighting, Theo?"

My eyes drifted down the list until I found my name next to someone I didn't know. "Koda, do you know who this is?"

"Who?"

"Uh, James McCarthy." I read outloud. Koda shrugged and Derek clapped to get our attention. We all headed over to the stage where he waved Koda up to join him. Koda smirked and walked confidently up to meet him.

"Five bucks on Koda." I whispered in Kat's ear.

"You're on." She grinned. We watched intently as Derek and Koda squared up, both waiting for the other to make the first move.

"Kick his ass, Koda!" I yelled. "My money's on you!" Koda smiled and lunged at Derek, tackling him to the ground.

"Come on, Derek!" Kat shouted beside me. I shot her a look but she ignored me. "What? I want five bucks."

I rolled my eyes and playfully shoved her. Koda punched Derek and a small amount of blood splattered onto the mat. I was just about to cheer but Derek wriggled out from Koda's grasp and kicked him in the thigh. Koda cussed through his teeth as he tried to shake it off. It didn't take long before they were right back at it again, wrestling. Each getting in a couple good hits before Kai called it a stalemate and shooed them off.

"So, where's my five bucks?" Kat asked, holding out her hand as Koda joined us and wiped some blood off his nose.

"Didn't you hear her?" I laughed. "It was a tie. No five bucks for either of us."

"Oh," Kat mumbled. "Well, shit."

"Yeah, now wish me luck. I'm next." I pulled Kat against me and she gave me a quick kiss then smacked my butt as I turned to walk away.

"Good luck!" She smiled then said something to Koda. I cracked my neck as I walked up to the stage. A small kid joined me and I held back my laugh.

"You've got to be kidding me." I looked down at the crowd of people. "I can't fight him! He's like ten."

"I'm twelve, actually." He protested in his squeaky voice. His jet black hair stuck up in an unruly fashion, which made him look even funnier.

"I can't hit a kid." I said, looking over at Derek and Kai who just shrugged. "You can't be seri-" I was cut off my a hard kick to the face. "What the hell?" I stumbled back holding my jaw.

James looked shocked at first then realized he actually hit me and grinned proudly.

"Go, James!" I heard Kat yell. I shot her another look and she doubled over in laughter.

"Look, kid, I'm not going to fight y-" A punch to my gut made me hunch over and he climbed on top of me, repeatedly punching my face while clinging onto my back. "Jesus fucking christ!" I swore, trying to shake him off but also trying not to hurt him. I pried him off and backed off quickly before he could hit me again, tripping down the stairs.

"Does this mean I won?" James jumped around shouting and cheering. Blood dripped from my busted lip and I wiped it off. Kat tried to keep a straight face as I walked over to her but she bent over, laughing as soon as I got within a foot of her.

"Shut up." I growled.

"You-you-you-" More laughter. "Got b-beat up by a twelve year old" She clutched her stomach and bit back more of her laughter. "I'm sorry." She giggled, taking my arm.
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Tue Mar 25, 2014 10:22 pm
TaylorLove says...



Kat

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "Kat, stop." He said.

I wrap my arms around his neck and smile. "I'm sorry. You have to admit it was kind of funny." I say. He just shook his head. "Okay, fine. I did think it was very manly that you did not hurt the kid though." I say.

"I know. I am pretty manly." He said.

I roll my eyes and shove him. "Shut up." I smile.

He laughs and kisses me. I don't know what was going on between us, but I liked it. I did not want to get my hopes up though.

Koda came over to us. "Sorry you did not get your money, man." He said to Theo.

I moved my arms to around Theo's chest and he held me against him. "It's alright man, next time."

"Oh, yeah. Next time will be totally different." He said.

"You think you are going to win next time, Koda?" Derek's voice split through the air.

Theo's grip tighten around me. I knew he was not scared that a fight would break loose, but he did not want me near Derek. "I do." Koda said.

"I heard you cheering for me Kat." Derek said, smirking.

"Only because there was money involved. I would have bet on Koda but Theo called him." I said plainly.

"Oh is that so?" Derek asked.

Theo jumped into the conversation. "Yes, it is." Theo said forcefully.

Throwing his hands up, Derek backed away. "Whoa, King. No need to be this way." Derek walked away into the crowd.

I smiled up at Derek. "Wow, Theo. Look at you being all protective. How cute." I tease.

"Don't ever use me and cute in the same sentence." He said.

I laugh and shake my head. "Fair enough." I told him.
Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart
-Winnie the Pooh





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Sun Mar 30, 2014 12:14 pm
thelostone says...



Theo

When we got home, we were both exhausted. We collapsed onto the bed staring at the ceiling. Neither of us said anything, but my hand automatically found hers and our fingers entwined. We closed our eyes.The moon light shone through the large windows and the only sound was the waves crashing on the shore outside. I only knew Kat was awake because every once in a while her thumb would rub mine softly. I rolled onto my side and draped my arm around her waist, snuggling my face into the crook of her neck. I pressed my lips against Kat's warm skin and she smiled. It slowly faded and she carefully turned her head and kissed me. Hesitantly at first, then she melted into me. The way she kissed me, I knew something was going to go wrong. She kissed me like she was afraid this would be our last one and she wanted it to be one she would remember. So, I did. I made it one she would remember just in case. My hands slipped just under her shirt, but they didn't go further. We twisted into each other, her fingers raked through my hair and mine memorizing the dimples on her back. Our lips were gentle but rough at the same time. But like all good things, it came to an end.

"Theo?" She whispered, her fingers falling out of my hair and tracing my jawline instead.

"Yeah?"

"Why can't it always be like this?" She asked. I could tell by her voice that she was scared. Scared that I might say 'it just can't' and scared that I might say 'it can'. Her fingers lingered on my skin as she waited for my response.

I opened my mouth to say something, but then closed it. Kat's fingertips ran across my lips and then traveled back to my jaw. Honestly, I don't know why it can't. The only thing stopping us is ourselves. We keep making it a hell of a lot harder than it has to be and maybe that's just our nature, what we're used to. All I know is, loving someone makes you vulnerable and when you're vulnerable the service can hurt you.

"Can we not talk about this right now?" I murmured. "Please."

"I just-I don't want to keep pretending like this is nothing or just for sex or whatever." Kat's voice rose above a whisper and I started to realize why she kissed me like she did. After this talk, things might not be the same. "What are we anymore, Theo? Everything you do confuses me. One moment I think this might actually be something and the next you're the asshole I grew up next to. I don't like hoping-I mean, I don't like switching back and forth."

"Kat, please." I begged, my voice still quiet. "Don't do this."

"I want to be loved." Her eyes welled up and she bit back on her lip trying to hold them back. "I deserve to be loved."

"The last person I loved died." Absentmindedly, I traced the black E on my finger. "And a part of me died with her. With everything that's going on with the service right now, it's too dangerous, Kat."

"I know." She said limply. She closed her eyes again and kissed me lightly on the forehead before crawling back up the bed and wriggling under the blankets. "Good night, Theo."

"Good night, Kat."
maybe hell is just rewinding home movies





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Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:10 am
TaylorLove says...



Kat

My eyes fluttered open to see Theo laying next to me. I was just sad, looking at me made me upset. Even thought I know what I said last night needed to be said, but I was hoping for the best. We see where that got me. This is exactly why I don't trust people, because I always get hurt.

I rolled out of bed when I heard the phone ring to answer it. "Hello?" I asked into the phone.

"Hey, Kaitlin." My dad's whispered into the phone.

I smile, so happy to hear his voice. "Hey, dad." I said.

"I wanted to invite you and Theo to the house. We are having a little dinner for your mother for her birthday." He said into the phone.

I was a little shocked that he wanted Theo to come, but I guess he knew we would get in trouble if we were caught alone. "He birthday is this weekend though."

"We have to work, so we are having it today. Come over in an hour or so?" He asked.

"I would love to." I said. "See you soon." I hung up to phone.

Taking a deep breath, I walked into the bedroom. Theo was still sleeping so I gently shook him awake. "Hey, wake up."

"What?" He moans.

"My mom's birthday dinner is in an hour and we are invited to go." I said, not looking at him.

"Why do I have to go?" He asked.

"Theo, please. I really don't have time to argure with you and I don't have the energy." I said, closing my eyes and crossing my arms.

I could feel his eyes staring at me, but I could not look at him. "Fine." He said.

--

The drive to the old house was hard. We did not talk to each other, but I wanted to reach our and grab his hand so bad. I wanted everything to be okay, but I knew it would never be okay.

He parked in the driveway and I quickly got out. I knocked on the door and Mark answered. I wrapped my arms around him and he spinned me around. "So does this mean you forgive me?" He asked.

"Yes, it does." I say. Theo walked into the house and closed the door. I guess we were back to pretending that everything was okay. I tried not to think about it when I say my mom. "Happy early Birthday, mom." I said hugging her.
Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart
-Winnie the Pooh





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Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:51 pm
thelostone says...



Theo

Over Kat's shoulder, her mom eyed me. I pressed my lips together and nodded towards her.

"I wasn't aware you would be bringing him along with you." Kat's dad raised his eyebrows.

"Nice to see you again too, Marcus." I said with a slight tinge of hostility on my tongue. "Or should I start calling you Dad?"

"Stick to Marcus." He shot back. "Just because you're my daughter's match does not make you my son."

"Dad!" Kat pulled away from her mom and glared at him.

"Come on," Kat's mom, Angie, ushered us into the dining room. "Dinner is ready."

"It's your birthday and you had to make dinner?" Kat asked, looking at her dad and Mark.

Angie waved it off. "Really, I don't mind. Besides, if either of them had cooked it, you wouldn't have wanted to eat it." She laughed lightly and we all sat down around the table. Kat's mom had prepared a giant dinner. Rolls, beans, mashed potatoes, chicken, and peas were spread out in dishes.

"I see that the war and the rations haven't affected your meals." I noted, tearing my bread in half.

"The service is more generous to outstanding citizens." Angie said quietly but with an air of sophistication.

"Are you implying your daughter and I are not outstanding citizens?" I asked, challenging her.

"I am merely saying that your reputation seems to be affecting your rations, Theodore." She said.

"And now Kat's reputation." Marcus mumbled under his breath.

I set my bread down and turned towards him. "For the record, your daughter's reputation has been tarnished for a while now. I had nothing to do with it."

"My reputation isn't tarnished." Kat said sharply then softened her voice. "I brought your present with me, Mom." She pulled up a ball of pastel colored yarn and handed it to her. "I know how much you like to knit so I thought you'd like some more yarn."

Angie smiled and reached over to hug her. "I love it. Thank you, Kaitlin." She tucked the yarn next to her and delicately bit into her food. "Speaking of knitting, when will I be able to start knitting hats for a little one?"

It took all of my strength not to spit the water I was drinking across the table.

"Like a baby?" Kat asked, surprised. She laughed nervously and fumbled with her silverware. "I don't think it's going to be any time soon, Mom."

"However," I interjected, "We do like practicing." I grinned as everyone tried to keep from choking. Kat kicked my shin under the table and shot me a look that said 'are you fucking kidding me'. I shrugged it off and smirked.
maybe hell is just rewinding home movies





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Fri Apr 04, 2014 1:29 am
TaylorLove says...



Kat

Theo was about to say more, but I stood up. "I think it is time to go." I say.

"No, wait. I want to talk to you." Mark said. "Please it won't take long." I nod and sigh.

I walk over to Theo and put my lips neck to his ear. "I swear on my life that if you don't behave you will regret it." I whisper,

"Mark, I think I would like to talk to Kaitlin for a few minutes, if you don't mind." My mother said.

I looked to Mark and waited for him to reply. "Sure, that's fine." He said.

I nodded and got up to go with my mom. We walked into the living room and motioned down to the for me to take a seat. I smiled and took a seat. My mom took a seat behind me and began to braid my hair. We use to do this all the time when I was younger.

"Okay, so tell me what's wrong." My mom finally said, breaking the lond silence.

I bite my lip, I really did not want to talk to her about this right now. "What do you mean, mom?" I asked.

She laughed. "Don't play dumb with my. You know what I am talking about." She told me, her hands still playing with my hair. I did not say anything though. "What is going on with you and Theo?" She asked. "Have things gotten any better?"

"How did you know things were bad?" I asked.

She sighs. "Your brother." She said. "You know, he was pretty upset when you sent him away at the hospital."

I frown. "i know." I told her, honestly. I knew that she wanted me to talk and I knew that she was the only one I was going to be able to talk to about this for a while. "I thought things were going to get better, I really did. I really thought that he could really care about me for a moment. I put my heart out for a few seconds and it got crushed. He is never going to care about me, mom." I told her.

"Don't say that. You two are very interesting people. You are both stubborn as hell and you both have very guarded hearts. You, Kaitlin are afraid to be loved. When you are loved, you don't know how to accept it and you want it when you can't get it. You just need to learn. I can't speak for Theo, but service has never gotten it wrong."

I rolled my eyes when she mentioned the service, but I listened to her. I hate it when she is right. My eyes were swelling with tears, but I refused to cry. She tied my hair in a beautiful braid and I stood up.

"Bye, dear." She said. "Thanks for coming."

I smile. "Happy Birthday, Mom." I say, hugging her.
Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart
-Winnie the Pooh





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Thu Apr 10, 2014 2:07 pm
thelostone says...



Theo

"Come on," Kat yanked my arm and pulled me towards the door. "We're leaving."

"Aw," I stuck out my bottom lip. "So soon? Your dad was just beginning to warm up to me."

Kat glared at me and shoved me out the door before saying goodbye to her parents again. "You little piece of shit!" She hissed and punched me hard in the arm while we walked to the car. "You fucking ruin everything, Theo! I just wanted to have one nice birthday dinner with my family and you were a total ass the whole time."

A part of me felt guilty for acting the way I did, but I kept it deep down. I started the car and backed out of their driveway. "I wouldn't say the whole time."

"Yes, Theo." She growled. "The whole entire fucking time. I thought you might behave because I thought you might have a sliver of respect for me but apparently not."

"Kat-"

She rubbed her forehead and looked out the window. "Don't. I can't even talk to you right now. Just take us home."

I sighed but followed her orders. I honestly did feel bad for being a dick earlier but there was nothing I could do about it now. The rest of the ride home was in angry silence and when we got home Kat stormed off into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. I got a glass of water and sat on the couch. After about an hour, I decided to try and talk to her but she locked me out of the bedroom.

"Hey," I knocked. "Please unlock the door. I'm tired."

"Go fuck yourself."

"Kat, come on." I knocked again and a soft thud came from the other side. Kat had thrown a pillow at the door. "Please, I just want to go to bed."

"I don't give a fuck about what you want." She yelled through the door. "I wanted a nice evening with my parents but I didn't get that either."

"Where am I supposed to sleep, on the floor?"

"Theo, for the love of god. Please just leave me alone." Her voice was tired and filled with hurt.

"Okay." I mumbled and slumped on the couch. "It's really cold out here without blankets." I called but she didn't respond. As much as I tried, I couldn't fall asleep. I don't know if it was because it was the first night I wasn't sleeping next to Kat or if it was just that the couch wasn't comfortable, so I studied the ceiling for hours.

At some point during the night I heard the gentle click of a door being unlocked and at first I thought it was my imagination, but then I heard Kat's footsteps as she walked over to me. Hair was falling out of it's bun from when she tossed and turned in the bed and her eyes were still slightly swollen. She must've cried earlier.

"I'm still incredibly pissed off," She whispered. "But I can't sleep knowing you're cold and probably uncomfortable out here."

"Kat.." I started but I didn't know what to say after that so I followed her into the room. I collapsed on the bed but she stood at the window. The moonlight poured on her face and I watched as another tear slipped down her face. "Kat?" I slowly walked up behind her but she didn't turn around to face me.

"I shouldn't have let you back in here." She murmured. "I should've made you sleep on the floor, I should've felt better knowing I was punishing you, I should hate you for making me feel like this, I should-"

"Feel like what? Are you talking about what you said to your mom? About me hurting your feelings?"

"You heard that?" She sniffed, embarrassed.

I nodded. "You're not exactly the best at whispering." Hesitantly, I touched her damp cheek and when she didn't shy away I pulled her closer to me. "Look, I-I know-" I sighed. "Ever since Ellie, I've had a hard time expressing my feelings and I'm not good at this-I'm not good at being in a relationship, okay? Even with Callie, we were both constantly arguing and cheating. I-I-I'm scared of it, okay? I'm scared of being in love."

"I'm scared too." Kat took my face in her hands and kissed my cheek, her lips lingering right above my skin for a moment. She ran her thumb over my cheek and then stepped back. She crawled onto the bed and wriggled underneath the sheets. I followed her, both of us on our backs. Our hands found each others and when I woke up our fingers were still entwined.
maybe hell is just rewinding home movies








I always knew that deep down in every human heart, there is mercy and generosity. No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.
— Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom