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Idea: Looking for Feedback



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Sat Aug 18, 2012 11:52 pm
VampireSenshi says...



So I've had this novel Idea in my head for some months. I keep thinking about it every once and a while, and I wanna get some feedback to whether or not I should pursue it.

This is basically just a rough outline of the story:

Main Character: Chase Matthews (last name subject to change)

Plot: A rich boy who lives in South Dakota because his parents want him to live a normal life, and he does. He's the town golden boy, he has a serious future.He has a bunch of friends, and his best friend Melony that he secretly likes.

But his parents are always absent - one day he has some headaches and comfortableness, so he stops by the doctor. And finds out he has a very rare form of cancer, the doctor tells him that he has exactly ten months before the disease takes him.
Spoiler! :
This disease is very perplexing form of cancer that affects the body, they call it the blind man's disease because there are no symptoms; and the disease takes the person very quickly. They'll just get really tired, and then they'll fall asleep and just not wake up

Of course he doesn't tell his parents, because he knows that his parents will get him medical attention and he'll rot in the hospital for the rest of his life.
So he goes to his friend, the extremely eccentric multi-billionaire Lawrence Buckly - for whom he house-sits and does work for, he's very old and starting to ail, bedridden. He tells him about his concerns, and he imparts upon him a great gift.

A black plastic card that contains the equivalent to all his riches, in all the currencies he can ask for. A get of of jail free card in almost all the countries.

He takes the card, and then he runs away, and he's gone for ten months, doing all the things he's ever imagined of doing. And he returns, ten months to the day.

He walks into his high school, and finds Melony. And he just stands her up in the middle of class, and kisses her. And then he leaves.

That night he takes the card, and cuts it up. And then he lays down in bed, and slowly drifts to sleep...

- - -

What do you guys think of this idea? Should I pursue it???
<YWS>
<NE1>

NIGHT is always watching...





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Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:15 pm
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Nook says...



Wow, it's so sad...:'(
It does sound like a really good story to write. I think you should pursue it!!
HERE>>OTAKU FOR LIFE<<HERE
"People's feelings are memories that transcend time[that's why they're so hard to forget]." - Steins;Gate(Makise)
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Wed Aug 29, 2012 2:58 am
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Avelyn says...



I think that this is a great idea<3
Since you probably thought this through, you're probably going to fill in the blanks on all the "things he's ever imagined of doing."

I think that if you write carefully, and stick to it, this could be one of the best stories out there. You already drew me in with with the basic sketch. :]

I don't mean to be rude, and I hope that you don't mind me asking some (hopefully) constructive questions:

What type of rare cancer does Chase have? Is there an exact name, or is it just of the head? (You did mention headaches earlier.) And have you considered including some of the symptoms, or pains that he should feel? (For example, the weakening of his body, or the coughing of blood, etc. )

xD, I'm sorry if I pass off as rude. These are just questions that I'm sure other readers might question :]

And, by the way... YES.
You should DEFINITELY pursue this!





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Fri Aug 31, 2012 3:27 pm
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VampireSenshi says...



Avelyn wrote:I think that this is a great idea<3
Since you probably thought this through, you're probably going to fill in the blanks on all the "things he's ever imagined of doing."

I think that if you write carefully, and stick to it, this could be one of the best stories out there. You already drew me in with with the basic sketch. :]

I don't mean to be rude, and I hope that you don't mind me asking some (hopefully) constructive questions:

What type of rare cancer does Chase have? Is there an exact name, or is it just of the head? (You did mention headaches earlier.) And have you considered including some of the symptoms, or pains that he should feel? (For example, the weakening of his body, or the coughing of blood, etc. )

xD, I'm sorry if I pass off as rude. These are just questions that I'm sure other readers might question :]

And, by the way... YES.
You should DEFINITELY pursue this!


Oh you didn't come off as rude at all, I know there is a disease out there that is similar to the one that Chase would have. Yet I can't bring mysef to find it, I'm still doing research...

Other than that, thank you!!!
<YWS>
<NE1>

NIGHT is always watching...








[while trapped in a bucket of popcorn] You know what the worst part is? It's not even butter. We're gonna be destroyed by... ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING!
— Blake Bradley, Power Rangers Ninja Storm