Young Writers Society

Naya took several breaths before deciding to open the door. She felt like her head was all over the place...she felt like her heart was all over the place, and most of all she didn’t know what to do about it.

She wished she could make Julian change his mind, she wished she could tell him how he shouldn’t let his past stop him from having a future, how if his sister Jessica was alive right now she wouldn’t have wanted Julian to stop believing in love, but she knew that she couldn’t. Julian had already made up her mind despite Naya’s best efforts. There was nothing else she could do about it.

So, with a few more deep breaths, she fixed her make-up and stepped out of the ladies room.

Julian stood just a few feet away from the door, his back leaning against the wall. His face looked troubled as though he wanted to say something to her but he didn’t quite know how to.

“Naya, I-”

“It's okay, Julian...” Naya interrupted him giving what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “Let’s just forget about it all...”

I'd love to. He felt himself give a sour response in his head. He just didn't want to say it out loud and make things even more worse than they already were. Julian had payed for the dinner in advance. So they waved the chief goodnight and Naya gave her compliments to him.

On the taxi ride to the hotel Julian felt something, an emotion and he was too afraid to name it. How did he feel about Naya. Why couldn't he love? And if he could... There was no use talking about something that could never happen. He wasn't about to watch her waste her time or life on him. They could make their life happy for a while, but then they would have to get a divorce. Julian knew that, and he was going to make sure that divorce happened. She deserved to be happy, and with him, he knew she wouldn't be able to do that.

They passed so many beautiful lights, and the cold air mixed with their body tempetures made the windows fog up.

It was mid-Afternoon by the time the taxi finally pulled up outside the grand building. The ride back had been unbearable and Naya was more than relieved when they finally stepped inside their warm hotel room again. Not wanting there to be anymore silence, she immediately removed her coat and boots and took a seat on the couch to watch some television. Every channel had the usual Christmas movies on that Naya had always hated, but she still sat there in silence and watched, occasionally flipping through a magazine at the same time.

Julian felt like a zombie. He had no feelings and was walking around blind half the time. He knew he had hurt her, but he was sorry. He was trying to prevent her from hurting even more, only if she fell in love with him. She seemed very hurt, like a wounded animal. She was keeping to herself and Julian didn't like it. No longer was he making any moves on her. He didn't want to hurt her.

He walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, then he started to head out.

"I'm going to get some air." He said, and left it at that.

She turned to look at him, but said nothing.

He quietly shut the door and went for a walk.

**Sorry, I have nothing. I'm sorry I haven't been on for a while, lifes kinda crazy now

Naya waited until she heard the door close before reacting. She knew Julian didn’t really want to ‘get some air’ because they’d just come from outside. He obviously meant that he wanted to be alone, away from her...

She closed her magazine and turned off the television. She was alone in their hotel room again. Getting up off the couch, she decided to try and keep herself busy to stop her from thinking. There were a couple of dishes inside the sink, the bed wasn’t done and some of her clothes were messily piled up on top of her luggage. She knew there were maids in the hotel that could get this done but Naya wanted to do it herself.

By the time she was finished it was starting to get dark and Julian wasn’t back yet. No surprises there. She'd grown used to him bailing out on her by now. But, regardless of what happened before, it was still Christmas day and no way was Naya spending its last few hours alone in her hotel room wallowing in her own misfortune and misery. Instead, she got herself all dolled up, or as dolled up as she possibly could get bearing in mind she still only had Wal-Mart clothes, and headed down to the hotel’s restaurant.

The place was full of people, couples of all ages as well as groups of family and friends were all seated at the tables, laughing, cheering and spreading the festive spirit. Naya tried not to look at them all for too long. It would only remind her of the family and friends she couldn’t be with this year.

She walked up to the restaurant’s bar and helped herself to a candy cane from a large bowl on the bar table. Just as she was about to order a drink, (and she swore she’d only order one and then head straight back to her room before Julian would return), the bartender came over and it was none other than Maggie.

"Oh, hello," she smiled, pleasantly surprised. If she was only pretending, she was doing a pretty good job of it. "Fancy seeing you here..."

Naya smiled back in response. She wasn't going to be a bitch, but she wasn't going to be all chatty either.

"Where's that husband of yours?" Maggie asked.

Naya wanted to tell her to mind her own damn business but she didn't. "He's...dealing with some work stuff," she lied.

"On Christmas?"

"Yes," Naya replied matter-of-factly. This girl was honestly the nosiest person she'd ever met.

Maggie shrugged with a smile. "Oh, before I forget," she said, placing a glass of pink liquid next to her. "This is for you."

Naya looked up at her with a look of confusion.

“I haven’t ordered my drink yet,” she told her, thinking she’d made a mistake.

“I know," Maggie smiled knowingly. "The guy sitting there at the end table bought you a round,” she replied with a smile.

Naya turned to see who she was talking about and saw a man in his late twenties dressed in an expensive looking three-piece suit. He had piercing blue eyes and a face that would make any girl catch her breath...any girl that is, except Naya...

"Good thing your husband isn't here afterall," Maggie winked.

Naya rolled her eyes in annoyance.

Nothing. Nothing at all would go through his mind but Naya. He wanted this to go away. This stupid feeling. Emptiness. He didn't like it, and in fact he was afraid to name the emotion. Ha, Julian Michael Anderson, afraid. Those words didn't even belong in a sentence, or within miles together. He stuffed his hands deep inside his pockets. He felt the cold slap at his face.

What the hell have I gotten myself into? He thought. He knew he should have never got close to her. Because now, that was all he was going to think about.

The suited man continued to stare at Naya even after she looked away, she could see it from the reflection of the glass. Very creepy.

“Just drink it, it’s free after all,” Maggie smiled.

“I’ll pass,” Naya responded dryly before pushing the glass of pink liquid away.

Maggie gave her a look, one that Naya was used to getting from Danni. It was the ‘don’t be such a wet-blanket’ look. But Naya didn’t care. No way was she accepting a drink from a stranger...not after everything she’d been through over the past month. “I’ll have a gin and tonic,” she told Maggie.

“Coming right up,” Maggie responded, the ‘look’ still on her face as she took the glass away.

From the corner of her eye, Naya could still see the creepy suit-man still staring at her, this time he had a smile on his face...a very knowing smile... Naya looked away quickly and bit her bottom lip with nerves. Something definitely didn’t feel right about this guy.

Before Maggie could return with her drink, Naya slowly got to her feet and cautiously walked out of the restaurant and into the hotel lobby. She threw a glance from behind her shoulder to see whether the man followed. He didn’t. Naya sighed with relief. Maybe she was just overreacting.

Just then the suited-man emerged into the lobby making Naya’s heart race with fear. He was looking for her, she could see it in the desperate way he scanned his surroundings, and by the angry but determined look on his face as he spoke in Russian down the phone. Naya had to remind herself to breathe as she hurriedly turned the corner and ran up the stairs to her hotel room as if her life depended on it.

She needed Julian. She needed to tell him what had just happened. This wasn't her overreacting. Something seriously didn't feel right...

Julian had stood outside as long as he could. Then, he had started to walk into the hotel, someone had been following him. He had heard someone whistling. Then, he had heard footsteps. He wanted to ignore it. Imagine that it was someone coming to rescue him from this terrible kidnapping nightmare. Right.

He took the stairs, two at a time, which wasn't a stretch for Julian. He was up in less than five mintues. The whistling had stopped, but the footsteps and the hiding shadows hadn't. They were in trouble, he needed to find Naya. Protect her. Now! He got into the hallway of where their room was, he got in and closed the door, not locking it. He searched in his bag, and found the baseball bat that he had bought at Wal-mart. This was no game.

He put the baseball bat over his left shoulder. Julian was a leftly

Loud stomps, more like running came from the hallway, he was getting ready to swing. The doorknob rattled. Then swung open, it was Naya.

"Julian!" She gasped, her eyes locking on his. She slamed the door closed and locking it. "They found us." She said, a little out of breath.

Julian nodded. "I know, Angel." He still had the bat positioned.

"I mean how did they?! What happened, how could they have-" She stopped, put her hand on her hips. "When'd you get the bat?"

He shrugged. "Couple weeks ago. Amazing what Wal-mart can accomplish ehh, Dollface?"

Naya looked at Julian as if he were mad.

“And what exactly are you planning on doing with that?” she asked, “bludgeoning them to death with it?”

“Something like that.”

Naya felt her jaw twitch with agitation. She held her head in her hands. She could feel her entire body shaking from her encounter with the suited-man. It was like running into those Mexican kidnappers all over again.

“We need to get out of here fast,” Julian told her, still positioned next to the door with his bat in hand. “Change into a new pair of clothes and pack your things.”

Naya tried to compose herself but her hands still trembled as she frantically began to shed her clothes. She ripped them off her as if they were infected before flinging them into a bag and packing everything else she had. All the while Julian remained positioned by the door. Once she was changed, she slung her bag over her shoulder and approached him.

“Ready?” he asked her, though it sounded more like he was asking her if she was okay.

“Just open the door,” she told him, impatiently, she was still shaking like a leaf.

Julian abandoned his bat and grabbed his own bag.

“Are you sure no-one followed you up here?” he asked her.

Naya paused to think before responding, “Yes, I’m sure.”

“Good.” Julian cautiously opened the door and glanced left and right. When he was sure the coast was clear, he motioned for Naya to follow him. “Remember to stay close and keep your head down.”

They decided to take the stairs to the ground floor. Luckily, the hotel lobby was nice and busy. People were going in and out of the restaurants and the hotel staffs were busy working. She and Julian easily merged into the crowd and began to slowly move towards the entrance doors. Suddenly, Naya spotted the familiar suited-man stationed outside the main doors. The sight sent a chill run down her spine. Standing next to him was another man dressed in a suit.

“Oh, God, they’re waiting for us...” Naya whispered, her voice trembling with panic, but Julian already seemed to have realised. He grabbed her hand and pulled her back with him down towards one of the restaurants. “What are you doing?” she asked him, confused.

He said nothing, instead he continued to drag her with him inside the restaurant until he approached one of the waiters.

“Can I help you sir?” asked the young man.

“Yes,” Julian responded. “Can you show me the way to your back door?”

The man looked up at him in confusion. “Sorry, sir?”

“You see, it’s time for us to leave and my wife here has managed to lose her cat. We’ve been looking everywhere for the poor creature but unfortunately we haven’t had much luck. We’re hoping it may have just wandered down here somewhere and found its way outside...”

Even in such a delicate and stressful moment, Naya couldn’t help but be impressed. The waiter’s confusion instantly changed into a warm smile.

“Of course sir,” he said, gesturing his hand towards the end of the restaurant. “Please, follow me...”

He led them across the restaurant and into the kitchen area, where there was a large door beside the stockroom. The young waiter opened the door with ease bringing in a wave of cold air. “Good luck, madam,” he smiled at Naya.

“Th-thank you,” Naya managed, before she and Julian stepped out of the building into the night. They appeared to be standing in the staff parking lot. “What now?” she asked him, freezing in the cold weather.

“Now...” Julian’s eyes scanned the many vehicles in front of him. “We get ourselves a ride out of here...”

Naya could see him sharp green eyes settle on a red and black motorcycle just parked up in front of them.

“No way,” she told him flatly before he could even say anything. “I’m not riding on that...”

“You want those men to catch us?” Julian growled, approaching the vehicle and messing with a few things before it roared into life.

“Of course not!” Naya responded in outrage.

Julian jumped on and revved the bike. “Then get on!”

Naya just stared at the vehicle, thoughts of the last time she was on one of those things rushed back to her like a bad dream. It was over six years ago. Eric had just got a new bike for his birthday and he wanted to take Naya for a ride on it. They were zooming through downtown California when a drunk-driver crashed into them-

“Naya!” Julian’s agitated voice brought her back to reality.

Realising there was no other option, she hesitantly got on, her legs trembling, and wrapped her arms tightly around Julian’s waist. He hit the gas and Naya felt her heart pound with terror. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. Before she knew it, they took off with heart-pounding speed into the dark night.

Julian didn't believe in helmets when he was younger. The military had taught him something completely different. While he was driving he handed one to Naya and didn't put one on. Hey if he as meant to die now, so be it. He just prayed that they wouldn't get stopped by a cop. That would be pretty bad. He took the back roads, which was less likely to be found by the kidnappers. An instinct kicked in.

Protect her.

Whoa, where the hell had that come from?

The cold wind whipped at his cheeks and his hands started to burn. He didn't know where they were going. He just knew it was time for them to go home...

By the time Naya opened her eyes, she realised Julian had parked up the motorcycle outside the parking lot of a nearby train station.

“You can let go now,” he turned his head slightly but avoided eye contact with her.

Naya instantly released her hands from him, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She found the journey so terrifying she’d held onto Julian’s waist so hard it was as though her life depended on it. “Sorry.”

Julian hopped off the bike and she sheepishly followed, her head still reeling from the journey.

“You okay?” he asked her.

Naya swallowed hard and nodded. He nodded back in satisfaction before leading her inside the train station. The place was relatively quiet. Only a few people were dotted around the place, some inspecting their tickets, others on the phone to loved ones, whilst some looked up at the times to check for their trains. Naya followed closely behind Julian to the ticket desk.

“Merry Christmas,” smiled a middle-aged woman who looked anything but happy. She was working on Christmas day. Naya couldn’t blame her. “How can I help you, sir?”

“We’d like to purchase two tickets to California. Preferably one that leaves in the next few hours...”

Naya’s eyes quickly locked on Julian’s.

“California?” she asked him. “We’re...we’re going home?”

The lady appeared to have not heard Naya. She began typing something on her computer before addressing Julian again. “You’re in luck, sir, we have a train which should be leaving in the next few minutes...”

“Great, we’ll take it.”

The woman took several minutes before she presented Julian with two tickets. He ruffled through the inside of his jacket and pulled out a few notes before handing it over to the woman.

“Have a good journey, sir,” said the woman robotically before moving on to the next customer.

Naya had to run to catch up with Julian. “Stop!” she told him before stepping in front of him. “I don’t understand...why are we going back home?”

Not that she wasn’t delighted by the news, a part of her was so happy she felt she might cry, but another part of her was afraid. What if the kidnappers found them again? How could life ever be the same again? One particular part of her, a part which was kept hidden deep inside of her was also afraid of what being home would mean for her and Julian. It would probably be the end of them. The thought, even at such a tense moment like this one, managed to make her feel a sense of sadness that she couldn't describe...

She looked so scared. Hell, he was even scared. What would happen when they got home? Her family would be happy to see her? Of course. His? Did he really care for anyone except his siblings? No. He clenched the tickets in his hand, and looked at the clock, their train was leaving in the next ten mintues.

“I don’t understand...why are we going back home?” Naya said, her eyes were wild with fear, happiness, and somewhere in there, hope.

He continued walking, ignorning her question. He walked fast, very fast, she couldn't even keep up.

How could you expect her to in those heels?

He pushed the ticket into the slot, and the bar allowed for him to pass. Then Naya was right behind him, still trying to catch up her life depended on it.

"Julian! Could you-" He heard her stumble as she got on the train.

Julian was searching frantically for their seats, in the back where they might be safe.

"Could you wait!" She yelled behind him. At least five people turned to give them dirty looks. The train was fairly full for Christmas, which was sad. Julian turned on her.

"Keep your voice down." He whispered.

She glared at him, as usual she found it fun to argue with him. "Why should I? I asked you a question Julian and you didn't answer me."

Julian grabbed her arm, gently, and put her in her seat. She was very small, so that made it more easy. He sat down himself, giving her the window seat, she wouldn't be able to get up and leave unless he got up, or she crawled over him. He wasn't going to stand up anytime soon.

"We're going home because I said we are." Was all Julian said.

She looked at him. "Why? I mean why now? We've been gone for like a month." She asked.

He didn't meet eye contact with her, he simply stared into the isle. The train began to move, and they were headed home. The train whistled and then slowly began to speed up.

"What happened, Julian?" She asked, more quiet and gentle.

He still didn't look at her. "Your family can protect you better than I can. That's why we're going home."

She didn't seem to understand. "You mean both of us go to my family's manor?"

Julian shook his head, then met her eyes dead on. "No. Just you. I'm not coming with you, Naya."

**If you don't know what to write, just write how she's feeling? Make her argue with Julian or something.**

“But,” she paused for a moment and just stared at him. “Why?” she asked stupidly.

Julian looked away from her. “Because I have to,” he replied. “Because you’ll be safer that way.”

Her face fell. She could suddenly feel a lump at the back of her throat. “But, I feel safer with you...”

Julian stiffened at that, but he continued to keep his gaze away from her. The train was now in full speed reflecting the whirlwind of emotions currently racing through Naya’s heart. She watched Julian, desperately trying to capture some hint of emotion in his face or his eyes, even if it was small, just to let her know what he was really thinking, what he was really feeling, but to her dismay, his expression remained just as unreadable as the day she first met him all those months ago.

Naya felt something snap inside her.

“Stop it!” she said suddenly, startling him. She tried to sound threatening but her voice was shaking. An overwhelming feeling of hurt and anger erupted from inside of her.

Julian just stared at her. “Stop what?” he asked, clearly confused.

“Stop acting like everything that’s happened between us this past month means nothing to you! Stop acting like I mean nothing to you!” she felt the words choke inside her throat as the kiss they shared this morning replayed inside her head, the kiss that showed her a side to Julian which she never thought she’d see. “Why is it so hard for you to just...” she paused as she felt her eyes swell up with tears, “...to just tell me how you feel?”

She didn’t care if people could hear her. Truly, she didn’t know where all this was coming from, all she knew was that all those feelings that she’d dared not voice, that she kept hidden deep within her heart, had finally just burst out in one big heap of a mess...

Julian knew at this moment he needed a drink. The drinks wouldn't fix his problems, no he guessed only he could do that. He didn't want to hurt her, damn it why couldn't she just leave this alone? Why did she have the shovel through emotions and bad memories. Something about her, made him want to kiss her and strangle her at the same time. Julian looked down at her, not planning to make a scene on this train.

"I'm not pretending anything. I care about you, Naya, but that's it." He said, staring into her eyes.

She stared at him, like he had killed a puppy. She bit down on her lip and blinked, alot. He assumed it was to make sure tears didn't fall. He didn't want them to. He wasn't worth crying over, and he knew that. She could do so much better. He told her from the beginning not to fall in love with him. Julian picked up a newspaper from the back of the seat and unfolded it into his lap.

He didn't love her.

At that moment Naya finally realised the truth. She watched Julian pull out a paper and finds that she’s livid with herself.

He will never love her.

She cursed herself for showing this man weakness, she cursed herself for falling in love with him and for wearing her heart on her sleeve for him, but most of all she cursed herself for thinking that she could ever change him. She should never have listened to Jennifer...

Feeling numb with humiliation, she turned away from him and wiped both her cheeks with her sleeve. For the remainder of the journey she was silent. As the train continued to charge forwards and the passengers conversed among themselves, Naya zoned out all sounds and just stared outside her window...

She hated herself.