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Young Writers Society


Bring Me Your Sacrifices



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Reviews: 1735
Wed Aug 21, 2013 4:02 am
BluesClues says...



GUESS WHO'S BACK.

Just kidding. I've been here the whole time, but I haven't had a thread open in WRFF since like 2014. Anyway, I keep looking at the Green Room, but I can't decide what to review - so bring me your sacrifices!

What I will review



1. Novel Chapters
2. Short Stories
3. Creative Nonfiction
4. Essays
5. Any content rating.

Tell me what your specific areas of concern are, if you have any. If not, I'll comment on whatever I can.

If you have a poem you'd like reviewed, please PM me.

what I will not review



1. Fanfiction.
2. Erotica.
3. Gory horror.

If your literary work is over 3,000 words in a single post, please PM me.

please request reviews using this form



Copy-paste the code below and fill out the form for your request. One request at a time, please. Once I have completed your review, you are free to request more. Please allow 3-4 days per review - I hope to complete them much sooner than that, but I do have a lot going on irl.

Code: Select all
[b]Title:[/b]
[b]Genre:[/b]
[b]Content Rating:[/b]
[b]Link:[/b]
[b]Specific concerns?[/b]


If you request a review for a novel chapter other than the first, please include a brief summary of the story so far.

Any questions?



Feel free to ask in the thread or PM me!
Last edited by BluesClues on Fri Oct 13, 2017 5:44 pm, edited 10 times in total.
  





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5 Reviews



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Points: 587
Reviews: 5
Sat Aug 24, 2013 9:05 am
Dmytra says...



Hello!

Could you please review my poem Bright Green Stars, linked here?

I would really appreciate feedback on it. I will definitely return the favor.

Thanks so much,
Dmytra
  





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101 Reviews



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Points: 654
Reviews: 101
Tue Aug 27, 2013 4:39 pm
MysteryMe says...



Hey there! Would you mind reviewing my short story "Mother" linked here... http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=103827

I would REALLY appreciate it, and I'd definitely return the favor. Try to make as detailed a review as possible, please. Thank you!!!! :D
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
  





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44 Reviews



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Reviews: 44
Fri Sep 06, 2013 3:45 am
EmmVeePi says...



Would greatly appreciate a review of my poetic short story(?) The Rather Odd Adventures of Daisy: Volume 2. Plz and Thx. http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=104073
  





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44 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 897
Reviews: 44
Fri Sep 06, 2013 3:48 am
EmmVeePi says...



Would greatly appreciate a review of my poetic short story(?) The Rather Odd Adventures of Daisy: Volume 2. Plz and Thx. http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=104073
  





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31 Reviews



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Points: 359
Reviews: 31
Sat Sep 07, 2013 8:55 am
TonelessBard says...



Heartaclysm

Elven Grief

That One Autumn Night

Dreamkeeper

The Bard's Lullaby

You can review as many as you want :D
When a man lies, he murders some part of the world.
These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives.
All this I cannot bear to witness any longer.
Cannot the Kingdom of Salvation take me home?
  





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Points: 91980
Reviews: 1735
Fri Oct 13, 2017 11:46 am
BluesClues says...



Reopen for sacrifices!



Please refer to the updated guidelines at the top.
  





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61 Reviews



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Reviews: 61
Fri Oct 13, 2017 5:28 pm
Feltrix says...



Um, anything in profile/Feltrix/portfolio except the originals would be great. I know you've already reviewed some and I appreciate your feedback, so... yeah.
Intrepid Explorer
Squire of the Green Room
Harbinger of the Cosmic Squid
Brief Castaway
Founder of Hermits United
TIME Magazine's 2006 Person of the Year
Dark Matter Overlord
Kind of a Big Deal
  





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Reviews: 1735
Fri Oct 13, 2017 5:44 pm
BluesClues says...



On it! I'll probably just start with whatever the earliest chapter is that I haven't reviewed and then go until I feel like stopping.
  





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Fri Oct 13, 2017 6:52 pm
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Zoom says...



Hey. I've seen your reviews and would love to bag one for myself.

Title:

Adryan's Promise

Genre:

YA Fantasy / Mystery

Content Rating:

Everyone! No swears or violence. Yet.

Link:

Adryan's Promise - Chapter 1.2 (The River)

Specific concerns?

I'm giving you the 2nd part of chapter 1. It's called "The River". I already know the story starts off with a slow pace and I could cut a lot of content. I would like any comments you have really, whatever thoughts come naturally as a reader, and any concerns you have as a writer. I can take criticism so don't worry about sugar coating.

Breif Overview

The protag is an amnesiac and wakes up inside a cave, paralysed.

The cave is veiled by a waterfall. The protag feels a connection to the waterfall which he describes as "a connection beyond the physical world".

He uses the waterfall to heal his body, unaware of exactly how he is doing it.

He gains control of his body to the point of being able to stand and drink from the waterfall.

#

Thanks in advance, appreciate the help!
he/his
  





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1735 Reviews

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Fri Oct 13, 2017 6:59 pm
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BluesClues says...



I'll snatch that one up soon! No later than Sunday, for sure.
  





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1735 Reviews

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Reviews: 1735
Sat Oct 14, 2017 8:09 pm
BluesClues says...



@Zoom DONE! (Also: I just now really registered your username. Psst there's a club for that.)
  





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472 Reviews



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Reviews: 472
Sun Oct 15, 2017 7:31 am
Lightsong says...



Title: Dancer of the Fire Blade
Genre: Fantasy, action/adventure
Content Rating: 16+ for the swear words (which aren't included in this sub-chapter)
Link: Chapter 8.2: Gael
Specific concerns? Dialogue, flow, as well as description in the sense of setting and body language. And general impression of it.
"Writing, though, belongs first to the writer, and then to the reader, to the world.

The subject is a catalyst, a character, but our responsibility is, has to be, to the work."

- David L. Ulin
  





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1735 Reviews

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Gender: None specified
Points: 91980
Reviews: 1735




User avatar
472 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25
Reviews: 472
Tue Oct 17, 2017 2:09 pm
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Lightsong says...



Title: Dancer of the Fire Blade
Genre: Fantasy, action/adventure
Content Rating: 16+ for the swear words (which aren't included in this sub-chapter)
Link: Chapter 9.1: Ilami
Specific concerns? The amount of dialogue. I'm afraid it's too much in this sub-chapter, or that it's not balanced with everything else. I also want your thoughts on Jaxin and Mother, whether their characters are shaped finely and whether they are interesting. I also want to know if there's too much information being given. Your overall thought of this is also wanted! :D
Brief summary: Gael was beaten by the bullies. Ilami saved him. They struck a deal in which she taught him how to fight physically (since he didn't have Natural blessing) while he taught her advanced Natural spells. Gael had recovered, and Ilami was going to have a test that would her being a class of competent fighters or a class of below-average fighters.
"Writing, though, belongs first to the writer, and then to the reader, to the world.

The subject is a catalyst, a character, but our responsibility is, has to be, to the work."

- David L. Ulin
  








If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
— Anatole France