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Young Writers Society


Sushi Critic



User avatar
134 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 74
Reviews: 134
Thu Mar 13, 2014 9:22 am
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DrFeelGood says...



Hello Sushi, here is my story.

A Godly Affair

Synopsis: A fraud doctor creates a sensation by declaring that he can predict future of a child. Upset with this the God himself comes to earth to expose the doctor. What follows is a battle between God and Doctor.

I have made some major grammatical mistakes in the story and I request you to help me with it.
  





User avatar
44 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 250
Reviews: 44
Thu Mar 13, 2014 10:47 pm
NerdBird says...



Hi! I'd love it if you could give me a review on my new short story Zom-Brawl

Criticise anything and everything you want! Thw flow, timing, plot, characters, you name it, go to town!
It follows the operation of the ZomBrawl through the MC Mark's eyes, expect blood(not too violent) and zombies *cough* I mean Zed-Heads.
Much appreciated!
:D
X
  





User avatar
229 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 11589
Reviews: 229
Fri Mar 14, 2014 2:15 am
SushiSashimi333 says...



@NerdBird - sorry, but it might take me until tomorrow to get the review done. I did the one above me, but I'm also trying to finish a nowhere near done book report by tomorrow XD I'll do my best :P I haven't forgotten even if I'm a week or something late. I just forgot my mind somewhere...
Sushi
  





User avatar
44 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 250
Reviews: 44
Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:24 pm
NerdBird says...



Thats fine :D
  





User avatar
229 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 11589
Reviews: 229
Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:06 pm
SushiSashimi333 says...



All requests above this message have been completed.
Sushi
  





User avatar
123 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2762
Reviews: 123
Sun Mar 16, 2014 1:46 am
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FatCowsSis says...



Well, since you're bored....
I can't get a link now because I'm on mobile, but it would be superb if you could review my latest work, The Colors of the Sunset.

Spoiler! :
This is a SS that is about suicide....It's kinda hard to explain...But I guess I want to know about how to make it more "emotional" or sad. According to my brother, I've never written anything happy....now I see he's right, lol. So that would be amazing!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Spoiler! :
Ground Beef
  





User avatar
254 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 11396
Reviews: 254
Sun Mar 16, 2014 6:41 pm
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Sonder says...



I mean, if you want to, you can review this one of mine: Crossroads

But it's a Christian poem/story, so I'm not sure if you would want to. Like, about the journey of a Christian. Just warning you. :) You could critique my vocab and order? I challenged myself with the vocabulary, but it is totally up to you if you want to or not. I have a feeling it won't get many reviews...
"This world is but a canvas to our imagination."
~Thoreau
  





User avatar
229 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 11589
Reviews: 229
Mon Mar 17, 2014 12:39 am
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SushiSashimi333 says...



@GriffinClaw - I'll give it a try :P Like your new avatar by the way, I'll see if I can get to it later, just got home from a long day DX
Sushi
  





User avatar
102 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 196
Reviews: 102
Wed Mar 19, 2014 11:41 pm
TheShauzer says...



Hey sushi. I know you don't like poetry so if anyone else wants to review my two new pieces I would welcome it greatly :D I'll do reviews in returns, digital pinky swear. Did you do it? Okay... I'll just have to take your digital word for it :) thanks guys.
TS
Sometimes life throws lemons at you. Other times it throws rocks... Be grateful for the lemons!
  





User avatar
229 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 11589
Reviews: 229
Thu Mar 20, 2014 9:34 pm
SushiSashimi333 says...



@TheShauzer - What would you like me to review? You never gave me a title to see if I wanted to XD I went to look at Griffin's poem and told her that I would read it once she made it, um, dumbed down for my simple mind XD I can take a look at your's and tell you if I'll review it or not. First I need a link, a link would be nice.
Sushi
  





User avatar
102 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 196
Reviews: 102
Fri Mar 21, 2014 12:06 am
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TheShauzer says...



Hey sushi :) thanks for replying. I can't give links, I'm working off a phone and um fairly crap with it :D you can find both of them in the poetry section of my portfolio under the titles 'Suburbia' and 'Memories'. If you only have time for one I'll understand and I'd prefer a review of 'Memories' Thanks Sushi :) I'll try to review more of devil touch when I get a chance :)
Sometimes life throws lemons at you. Other times it throws rocks... Be grateful for the lemons!
  





User avatar
134 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 74
Reviews: 134
Fri Mar 21, 2014 5:37 pm
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DrFeelGood says...



Hi Sushi! Thanks for your amazing review on my previous story!

I have posted an experimental short on 'No strings attached relationship' with a twist in the end. It is about 400 words. I know it is too short but I would like to hear something about it (A short review is fine).

Her Agony
  





User avatar
102 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 196
Reviews: 102
Mon Mar 24, 2014 10:02 am
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TheShauzer says...



Hey Sushi :) Can't believe I'm on here AGAIN, seems desperate :) But I wrote a nice piece, one of my best - "Start to a book? Has potential." - and it hasn't gotten ANY reviews. This is a crisis situation :D Hope you review, it's something that you might like. "Start to a book? Has potential." is actually the title :) You'll find it in shorts if you can't in my portfolio. I'll review some of Devil Touch again :D
TS
Sometimes life throws lemons at you. Other times it throws rocks... Be grateful for the lemons!
  





Random avatar


Gender: None specified
Points: 469
Reviews: 31
Mon Mar 24, 2014 1:31 pm
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Bobbywalker says...



Sushisashimi is a Bobbywalker-approved reviewer. This guy knows his stuff!
"We are all equal, for we are all nothing"

Bobby. You so stupid.
  





User avatar
229 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 11589
Reviews: 229
Mon Mar 24, 2014 1:42 pm
SushiSashimi333 says...



@Bobbywalker
bobbywalker wrote:Sushisashimi is a Bobbywalker-approved reviewer. This guy knows his stuff!

XD Thanks so much! Glad I'm a good reviewer XD However XDXDXD I am a girl XD It's okay though :p, not the first time someone thought I was a guy ^^
Sushi
  








Pain is filtered in a poem so that it becomes finally, in the end, pleasure.
— Mark Strand