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1099 Reviews



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Reviews: 1099
Mon Jan 02, 2017 2:09 am
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Carlito says...



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It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

I want to read your work!

Ask me anything. Talk to me about anything. Seriously. My PM box is always open <3
  





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Tue Jan 03, 2017 5:12 am
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Hikarufire64 says...



Hey there!

1.Name of the novel: Kinetic Crusade

2. Genre of the novel: Action/Adventure Humor

3. 1-4 sentences about what the novel is about:
Four Kids must travel about the land while collecting ancient medallions to stop a dark force from taking over.

4. Describe what kind of feedback you want:I just need the whole run down and what you think of the chapters linked below.
The first three chapters have been changed and I need some feedback on how they are at this point and the seventh chapter is new and still in the green room, i wont include the other chapters since I havent gotten to those yet but i might come back and ask if those can be reviewed too after i get through reading their reviews.

5. Don't forget to give me a link to your chapters:

Kinetic Crusade Chapter 1 Glacier Burg

Kinetic Crusade Chapter 2 Sewer Snowflakes

Kinetic Crusade Chapter 3 Boruto Town

Kinetic Crusade Chapter 7 Gemini Jungle
  





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Thu Jan 12, 2017 12:04 am
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Mea says...



Please?

Prince, Spy, Priest

It's a pretty rough draft - I'm mostly looking for feedback on my ideas and exposition.
We're all stories in the end.

I think of you as a fairy with a green dress and a flower crown and stuff.
-EternalRain

I think you, @Deanie and I are like the Three Book Nerd Musketeers of YWS.
-bluewaterlily
  





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Thu Jan 12, 2017 12:43 am
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BlueAfrica says...



*wishes I had a novel ready right now*
  





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Sat Jan 14, 2017 12:09 am
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passenger says...



Name: Valerie (working title)

Genre: YA Romance!

Summary: A girl bored by her life's routine is suddenly swept into the throes of high school drama: a suspicious phone call leads to a racketeering fling with her boyfriend's bully. Chaos ensues! (I shall write a better summary soon. ;))

Feedback: General feedback is ofc great, but I would also love if you could attack the following:
1. Despite the stereotypes that are obviously woven into their personalities, are my characters portrayed realistically? How does the way that I characterize them add or subtract to their believability, and how does it affect the stereotypes they embody? Are the characters likable? What would you suggest about them otherwise? (I love character feedback, obv)
2. Any plot holes that seem glaringly obvious?
3. Where do you think the story is headed and/or are there any cliches you hope I avoid in future chapters? (Warning: the story itself may come off as a bit cliche...but I hope that doesn't deter you :))
4. Title suggestions!
Ofc, take your time with the review, and worry not if you can't incorporate all aspects of my lengthy request.

Link: I'll link you to the first chapter; only read on (and/or review) if you feel so inclined! I will appreciate any and all feedback you can offer. Val: 1

You're the best. Take all the time you need. Thanks!

edit: Val: Precursor is the prologue, if you wouldn't mind taking a look at that as well. to be honest I forgot I even had a prologue
"We accept the love we think we deserve." -Stephen Chbosky's Perks of Being a Wallflower
  





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Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:34 pm
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MeatBunCat says...



Link: Glorious Fantasy Ch.1: A New world
Requested Coverage: All 4 chapters if you have the will power. But since you say three at a time, I request the first three.
Title: Glorious Fantasy
Genre: Fantasy/Humor/Adventure/Action/Romance
1 Sentence summery: A story about a boy dragged into a new world, life, and a new gender.
Feedback Interest: I'm trying to pump out as many chapters as I can before I burn out, so grammar is nice, also a bit of a idea on how you think of the story.
Things you might be interested in: Protag is a straight male put in a female body, so bumps into LBGT+ territory on the romance.


If you can get through all of this, thank you! \^.^/
  





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1099 Reviews



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Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:05 am
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Carlito says...



Thanks for all of the requests! I can't guarantee I'll get to requests after this point by the end of the month, but we'll see how review day goes ;) Currently up to Mea.

:D
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

I want to read your work!

Ask me anything. Talk to me about anything. Seriously. My PM box is always open <3
  





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Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:42 am
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Jolley10101 says...



Hi, Please review my novel.

Name: My Dreamworld

Genre: Fantasy

:D
Last edited by Jolley10101 on Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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1099 Reviews



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Points: 47825
Reviews: 1099
Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:22 pm
Carlito says...



I'm all caught up and ready for more! :D
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

I want to read your work!

Ask me anything. Talk to me about anything. Seriously. My PM box is always open <3
  





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62 Reviews



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Reviews: 62
Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:58 pm
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Dest says...



Link: Dreaded Dinner Party (Edited)
Requested Coverage: The first 3 chapters, please.
Title: Dreaded Dinner Party
Genre: Light Humor/ General
Summary: Aucuria "Curi" Andrews has struggled through too many of her parents' parties, and it looks as if it will stay that way unless someone makes trouble!
Feedback Interest: Grammar? Are the details in the story okay? How did you feel about the characters?
Things you might be interested in: Um, the main character is homeschooled. I guess that's cool
  





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1099 Reviews



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Points: 47825
Reviews: 1099
Wed Feb 15, 2017 3:19 am
Carlito says...



All caught up and ready for more! :D
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

I want to read your work!

Ask me anything. Talk to me about anything. Seriously. My PM box is always open <3
  





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26 Reviews



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Wed Feb 15, 2017 12:08 pm
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regismare says...



Hi! So, it'd be really great if you could review the first bit of my new project, if you have time? Thank youuuuuu.

Link: It's here

Requested Coverage: just this bit (just over 2000 words)

Title: I'm still working on it.

Genre: realistic/tragedy/YA/politics

Summary: A teenage nihilist gets caught up in a conspiracy that almost topples a nation.

Feedback Interest: how the characters are portrayed and how they come across when you read about them, the actual technicalities of my writing (how is it to read? Do you like it? How's the grammar and the sentence structure?), is it confusing to read, where do you think the story will go now, would you continue reading this if you just picked it up?

Things you might be interested in: there's a lot of exploration of morality later on, strong LGBTQ+ themes later on, a theme of death and mortality, and social issues, and a healthy dose of existentialism. But in this 2,000 words, there's mostly just despair, awkwardness, and fireworks.
awaiting world war three
  





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Thu Feb 16, 2017 1:36 am
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BlueAfrica says...



If you're interested and don't have way too much to do (although I see the requests are piling up once again), you could always check this out for me.

Link: The Chosen Grandma, Prologuish Thing

Requested Coverage: I'll be posting a chapter every week as part of LMS, so you can start with this and then cover the rest or not as you like. This is all that's up so far.

Title: The Chosen Grandma, but only for now.

Genre: Fantasy, silliness.

Summary: The eighty-three-year-old Chosen One journeys to Dominion to defeat an evil sorcerer. (The chapter in question, however, is about the wizards whose job it is to choose the Chosen One.)

Feedback Interest: I'm not too picky, but I have just about zero interest in grammar/spelling at this point in the process. It's a first draft. No point nitpicking until later on, right?

Things you might be interested in:

*in this chapter* Council of Wizards 3: The Choosening.

*later on* An elderly knitting enthusiast who's only too glad to leave her nursing home to fight evil with her knitting needles, a skittish-but-devoted orderly who comes along to make sure the Chosen One takes her pills on time but stays for the romance, and a teenage girl who would probably be the Chosen One in a different book but is here to kick butt despite her thwarted destiny.
  





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Thu Feb 16, 2017 7:13 pm
Megrim says...



Soooo I noticed you're particularly interested in novels, and I have a bit of a crazy request, which you can say no to.

I haven't posted anything publicly on YWS from POG and probably am not going to, for the main reason that I'd post very large chunks at a time and I doubt anyone would really want to go through it all. I've just finished my latest round of edits on the MS and have already "used up" my writing group and usual beta readers on earlier versions (there have been probably 4 major rounds of editing AFTER the first time I declared it polished enough for beta readers). Could very much benefit from new eyes, since my usual suspects will all be biased by those earlier versions.

Time-wise there are two directions you could go. If you felt like binge reading it over a weekend, you could read it before I send it back to my agent. More reasonably, since she can take months to get to it, my typical MO is to send to people at the same time and then there's no rush (and all feedback will be accumulated over those months and applied before we go on submission).

If you feel like being adventurous, here's the requested info:
1. Name of the novel: The Pull of Gravity
2. Genre of the novel: Sci-fi
3. 1-4 sentences about what the novel is about (no spoilers):
An idealistic revolutionary falls in love with the emperor he's meant to betray.
4. Describe what kind of feedback you want: Character arcs and resolutions.
5. Don't forget to give me a link to your chapter(s): I'd have to send it as an attachment or share a google doc. It's 127k words total. Or if you want I can send it in 3-chapter chunks :P (Or even post it on YWS as such, though they would be long submissions heh)

A more complete description enspoilered:

Spoiler! :
Iari Lenerian wanted to help make the galaxy a better place. He was supposed to be a small cog in a big machine—an informant posing as a palace guard, that’s it. He didn’t mean to attract the Emperor’s attention, didn’t mean to gain his trust. And he didn’t mean to fall in love.

The rebellion that recruited him is going forward as planned. Iari is the only person who can get close to the Emperor—and the only mindfighter strong enough to challenge him. Iari still wants to see his impoverished homeworld free of Imperial exploitation, but he’s not ready to kill the man he loves. Desperate to keep the Emperor safe, Iari takes him hostage aboard the insurgent fleet.

The planet below isn’t so fortunate when Iari’s allies open fire in a last-minute change of plans. Suddenly the galaxy doesn't seem so black and white, and he's feeling more like a traitor than a revolutionary. The Emperor is heartbroken, systems are falling into civil war, and the insurgent leaders are as dangerous as they are powerful. With the destruction of a planet on his conscience and the Emperor's vengeful sister chasing them across space, Iari has to decide if fighting for his ideals is worth sacrificing everything he loves, and becoming a villain himself.

THE PULL OF GRAVITY, a science fiction novel of 127,000 words, is told through two alternating timelines, Before and After. It includes themes of romance, alien cultures, and a space battle or two.
  





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Thu Feb 23, 2017 6:18 pm
ChildOfNowhere says...



Hi! I don't remember when was the last time I requested a review around here, so excuse the awkward rambling xD

Let's see... Many of the things from your list aren't yet mentioned in the first chapter, but I do have a dark story with some teeth and grit, which involves LGBT+ characters and mental illnesses, and hopefully comes with a mindblowing twist or two. Ripping your heart to shreds eventually is definitely a part of my plan, too :mrgreen:

1. Name of the novel — These Brilliant and Beautiful Lies
2. Genre of the novel — fantasy novel set in an another world, but low-magic and more character-focused
3. 1-4 sentences about what the novel is about (no spoilers) — The Palace of Justice rules the Varien Isles: its Council governs the land, its masked Captors hunt heretics (also known as practitioners [of magic]), and its Academy raises and trains the future employees through methods that leave both physical and psychological scars. The story is told from three POVs: Reiner, a Captor, plans to betray everything the Palace stands for, in order to save his little brother from the Academy; Azrael, the middle sister who'd escaped the Palace years ago and has been a sailor ever since, has to get over her fear of land and deal with her PTSD if she wants to help her siblings; and Brinn, the youngest brother, learns first-handedly how the practitioners are treated, and makes plans to run from the Academy — making sure not to say a word to the older brother he thinks is nothing but the Palace's soldier. Have I mentioned flying ships, masks, and a girl who experiences time non-linearly?
4. Describe what kind of feedback you want — Honest. I don't need LBL edits or grammar fixes at this time, but everything from paragraph-level to overall comments is fair game. No sugarcoating, please. I like being told what can be improved.
5. Don't forget to give me a link to your chapter(s) — Here you go.

ETA: Chapter order has changed :mrgreen: I switched the link to the new chapter 1, but by all means, drop a review on whichever you like (at the moment, they can be read at pretty much any order anyway)
Writer of words; doodler of forest sprites


  








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