Young Writers Society

Hey there!

1.Name of the novel: Kinetic Crusade

2. Genre of the novel: Action/Adventure Humor

3. 1-4 sentences about what the novel is about:
Four Kids must travel about the land while collecting ancient medallions to stop a dark force from taking over.

4. Describe what kind of feedback you want:I just need the whole run down and what you think of the chapters linked below.
The first three chapters have been changed and I need some feedback on how they are at this point and the seventh chapter is new and still in the green room, i wont include the other chapters since I havent gotten to those yet but i might come back and ask if those can be reviewed too after i get through reading their reviews.

5. Don't forget to give me a link to your chapters:

Kinetic Crusade Chapter 1 Glacier Burg

Kinetic Crusade Chapter 2 Sewer Snowflakes

Kinetic Crusade Chapter 3 Boruto Town

Kinetic Crusade Chapter 7 Gemini Jungle

Please?

Prince, Spy, Priest

It's a pretty rough draft - I'm mostly looking for feedback on my ideas and exposition.

*wishes I had a novel ready right now*

Name: Valerie (working title)

Genre: YA Romance!

Summary: A girl bored by her life's routine is suddenly swept into the throes of high school drama: a suspicious phone call leads to a racketeering fling with her boyfriend's bully. Chaos ensues! (I shall write a better summary soon. )

Feedback: General feedback is ofc great, but I would also love if you could attack the following:
1. Despite the stereotypes that are obviously woven into their personalities, are my characters portrayed realistically? How does the way that I characterize them add or subtract to their believability, and how does it affect the stereotypes they embody? Are the characters likable? What would you suggest about them otherwise? (I love character feedback, obv)
2. Any plot holes that seem glaringly obvious?
3. Where do you think the story is headed and/or are there any cliches you hope I avoid in future chapters? (Warning: the story itself may come off as a bit cliche...but I hope that doesn't deter you )
4. Title suggestions!
Ofc, take your time with the review, and worry not if you can't incorporate all aspects of my lengthy request.

Link: I'll link you to the first chapter; only read on (and/or review) if you feel so inclined! I will appreciate any and all feedback you can offer. Val: 1

You're the best. Take all the time you need. Thanks!

edit: Val: Precursor is the prologue, if you wouldn't mind taking a look at that as well. to be honest I forgot I even had a prologue

Link: Glorious Fantasy Ch.1: A New world
Requested Coverage: All 4 chapters if you have the will power. But since you say three at a time, I request the first three.
Title: Glorious Fantasy
Genre: Fantasy/Humor/Adventure/Action/Romance
1 Sentence summery: A story about a boy dragged into a new world, life, and a new gender.
Feedback Interest: I'm trying to pump out as many chapters as I can before I burn out, so grammar is nice, also a bit of a idea on how you think of the story.
Things you might be interested in: Protag is a straight male put in a female body, so bumps into LBGT+ territory on the romance.


If you can get through all of this, thank you! \^.^/

Thanks for all of the requests! I can't guarantee I'll get to requests after this point by the end of the month, but we'll see how review day goes Currently up to Mea.

Hi, Please review my novel.

Name: My Dreamworld

Genre: Fantasy

I'm all caught up and ready for more!

Link: Dreaded Dinner Party (Edited)
Requested Coverage: The first 3 chapters, please.
Title: Dreaded Dinner Party
Genre: Light Humor/ General
Summary: Aucuria "Curi" Andrews has struggled through too many of her parents' parties, and it looks as if it will stay that way unless someone makes trouble!
Feedback Interest: Grammar? Are the details in the story okay? How did you feel about the characters?
Things you might be interested in: Um, the main character is homeschooled. I guess that's cool

All caught up and ready for more!

Hi! So, it'd be really great if you could review the first bit of my new project, if you have time? Thank youuuuuu.

Link: It's here

Requested Coverage: just this bit (just over 2000 words)

Title: I'm still working on it.

Genre: realistic/tragedy/YA/politics

Summary: A teenage nihilist gets caught up in a conspiracy that almost topples a nation.

Feedback Interest: how the characters are portrayed and how they come across when you read about them, the actual technicalities of my writing (how is it to read? Do you like it? How's the grammar and the sentence structure?), is it confusing to read, where do you think the story will go now, would you continue reading this if you just picked it up?

Things you might be interested in: there's a lot of exploration of morality later on, strong LGBTQ+ themes later on, a theme of death and mortality, and social issues, and a healthy dose of existentialism. But in this 2,000 words, there's mostly just despair, awkwardness, and fireworks.

If you're interested and don't have way too much to do (although I see the requests are piling up once again), you could always check this out for me.

Link: The Chosen Grandma, Prologuish Thing

Requested Coverage: I'll be posting a chapter every week as part of LMS, so you can start with this and then cover the rest or not as you like. This is all that's up so far.

Title: The Chosen Grandma, but only for now.

Genre: Fantasy, silliness.

Summary: The eighty-three-year-old Chosen One journeys to Dominion to defeat an evil sorcerer. (The chapter in question, however, is about the wizards whose job it is to choose the Chosen One.)

Feedback Interest: I'm not too picky, but I have just about zero interest in grammar/spelling at this point in the process. It's a first draft. No point nitpicking until later on, right?

Things you might be interested in:

*in this chapter* Council of Wizards 3: The Choosening.

*later on* An elderly knitting enthusiast who's only too glad to leave her nursing home to fight evil with her knitting needles, a skittish-but-devoted orderly who comes along to make sure the Chosen One takes her pills on time but stays for the romance, and a teenage girl who would probably be the Chosen One in a different book but is here to kick butt despite her thwarted destiny.

Soooo I noticed you're particularly interested in novels, and I have a bit of a crazy request, which you can say no to.

I haven't posted anything publicly on YWS from POG and probably am not going to, for the main reason that I'd post very large chunks at a time and I doubt anyone would really want to go through it all. I've just finished my latest round of edits on the MS and have already "used up" my writing group and usual beta readers on earlier versions (there have been probably 4 major rounds of editing AFTER the first time I declared it polished enough for beta readers). Could very much benefit from new eyes, since my usual suspects will all be biased by those earlier versions.

Time-wise there are two directions you could go. If you felt like binge reading it over a weekend, you could read it before I send it back to my agent. More reasonably, since she can take months to get to it, my typical MO is to send to people at the same time and then there's no rush (and all feedback will be accumulated over those months and applied before we go on submission).

If you feel like being adventurous, here's the requested info:
1. Name of the novel: The Pull of Gravity
2. Genre of the novel: Sci-fi
3. 1-4 sentences about what the novel is about (no spoilers):
An idealistic revolutionary falls in love with the emperor he's meant to betray.
4. Describe what kind of feedback you want: Character arcs and resolutions.
5. Don't forget to give me a link to your chapter(s): I'd have to send it as an attachment or share a google doc. It's 127k words total. Or if you want I can send it in 3-chapter chunks (Or even post it on YWS as such, though they would be long submissions heh)

A more complete description enspoilered:

Hi! I don't remember when was the last time I requested a review around here, so excuse the awkward rambling xD

Let's see... Many of the things from your list aren't yet mentioned in the first chapter, but I do have a dark story with some teeth and grit, which involves LGBT+ characters and mental illnesses, and hopefully comes with a mindblowing twist or two. Ripping your heart to shreds eventually is definitely a part of my plan, too

1. Name of the novel — These Brilliant and Beautiful Lies
2. Genre of the novel — fantasy novel set in an another world, but low-magic and more character-focused
3. 1-4 sentences about what the novel is about (no spoilers) — The Palace of Justice rules the Varien Isles: its Council governs the land, its masked Captors hunt heretics (also known as practitioners [of magic]), and its Academy raises and trains the future employees through methods that leave both physical and psychological scars. The story is told from three POVs: Reiner, a Captor, plans to betray everything the Palace stands for, in order to save his little brother from the Academy; Azrael, the middle sister who'd escaped the Palace years ago and has been a sailor ever since, has to get over her fear of land and deal with her PTSD if she wants to help her siblings; and Brinn, the youngest brother, learns first-handedly how the practitioners are treated, and makes plans to run from the Academy — making sure not to say a word to the older brother he thinks is nothing but the Palace's soldier. Have I mentioned flying ships, masks, and a girl who experiences time non-linearly?
4. Describe what kind of feedback you want — Honest. I don't need LBL edits or grammar fixes at this time, but everything from paragraph-level to overall comments is fair game. No sugarcoating, please. I like being told what can be improved.
5. Don't forget to give me a link to your chapter(s) — Here you go.

ETA: Chapter order has changed I switched the link to the new chapter 1, but by all means, drop a review on whichever you like (at the moment, they can be read at pretty much any order anyway)