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Young Writers Society


Alfred Symon's Critic Clinic: Bringing Smiles since the 60's



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45 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 4140
Reviews: 45
Sun Apr 08, 2012 4:15 pm
artsy says...



I'm working on a novel, and posted my first chapter here. I want to get a lot of nitpicky reviews to help better my writing style, and saw your post. So, I'll give it a shot. xD

It basically Realistic/Fantasy, which is an odd combination, I know. It's like a Utopia/Dystopia kind of book. It's Parallel Realm:The Conjurer Wars - 1

So, anything that gets down to the little things, grammar, ways to improve ANYTHING is very, very helpful.
"You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes - you can steer yourself in any direction you choose!" - Dr. Seuss
~
Will Review For Food
  





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37 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 3404
Reviews: 37
Mon Apr 09, 2012 12:33 pm
ShootingStars says...



Hey, Alfred! :D This is Shooting Stars! Do you mind checking this out? It's the first chapter of a book I've started about a little girl's journey.
Thanks! Like A Butterfly Spring:
work.php?id=94568
---Shooting Stars
When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you. -Jiminy Cricket

Don't be afraid to jump, to leap, to fly too far and don't be scared to touch the stars!
  





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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:52 pm
AlfredSymon says...



Sure! I'll give my best to the three of ya!
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





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5 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 1005
Reviews: 5
Tue Apr 10, 2012 1:36 pm
evelynelectra says...



First piece of work posted on here, would love a review and criticise as much as you like as long as it's constructive haha :D

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=94614
  





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31 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 885
Reviews: 31
Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:28 pm
FallenAngel97 says...



Hey, I just wrote this poem and, usually my poems are a little too dead on(or so I've been told) but I read over this one after I wrote it and I am kind of proud of it:) But no one has checked it out yet, so I was wondering if you could review for me? work.php?id=94592
My heart grows cold
My spirit grows weak
I'm losing my faith
I'm losing my grip...
  





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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Tue Apr 10, 2012 11:00 pm
AlfredSymon says...



People of my clinic! I'm very sorry, but there'll be a very short delay...
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





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97 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 982
Reviews: 97
Wed Apr 11, 2012 12:56 am
summergrl13 says...



work.php?id=94627

Part 2 of Chapter 1 of my story :D really need reviews on both part 1 and part 2 if I may ask for it :P
I will review for you! PM about it if you need one!


Come check out my new story at topic53543.html
  





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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:38 pm
AlfredSymon says...



People of my clinic! All your patients will be operated on this weekend! I assure all will be successful! Thanks for the wait! :)
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





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43 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 3541
Reviews: 43
Mon Apr 16, 2012 7:51 pm
DudeMcGuy says...



*Hands over Critic Clinic application*

Hello afredsymon! I would be very grateful if you could lend me your expertise on this one: work.php?id=94743

It's a little long (3000+ words), so save it for when you have nothing else waiting. It's my first attempt at writing fiction, but don't go easy or anything. Rip it apart if you have to. I am looking for an honest opinion. Thanks
When I was young I used to have problems finishing my sentences, but now I
  





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935 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 2806
Reviews: 935
Fri Apr 20, 2012 2:49 am
Shady says...



Hey, I'd really appreciate it if you review my piece! Thanks!
work.php?id=94811

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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8 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1072
Reviews: 8
Fri Apr 20, 2012 4:42 am
Ikerot says...



This is just a short poem I made: work.php?id=94809

I'm not a pro poet so... xD
"Good begins with evil, and evil is here to stay." - From The Sovereign
  





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179 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 11017
Reviews: 179
Sat Apr 28, 2012 4:43 pm
guineapiggirl says...



Your reviews truly seem brilliant.
I would like to post my novel and get some reviews, but I need to make a novel folder or something? How can I do that? Once I've done that, I'd love you to review it so far.
If you want anything reviewed I'm happy to help.
  





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179 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 11017
Reviews: 179
Sun Apr 29, 2012 8:06 am
guineapiggirl says...



work.php?id=95000
There it is. Could I please have a Quick Critique with a Smiley thing please? Thankyou.
  





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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Wed May 09, 2012 5:09 am
AlfredSymon says...



Back in business! Sorry my patients if I am late, but I was very busy these past days, and it is only this week that I'm free. I hope everyone understands! :) I'm going to tackle these waiting-in-line patients now!
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 926
Reviews: 2
Sat May 12, 2012 12:17 am
sarah2014grad says...



Hey, there! I'm er... NEW. As in I joined today. But I do have something posted already. Sorry, I just want to know if it's a good idea and I should pursue it, or a bad one altogether. Also, I posted it in Writing Activities, as New Story Idea... Comments Please? or some such title. Thanks!

Yours Truly
LiveStrong. Be amazed at the little things. Life's too short to not fall in love with it.
  








If I'm going to burn, it might as well be bright.
— Frank Zhang