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Young Writers Society


Alfred Symon's Critic Clinic: Bringing Smiles since the 60's



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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Tue Mar 27, 2012 12:03 pm
AlfredSymon says...



The review is done and finished!
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





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9 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 298
Reviews: 9
Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:42 pm
TheSunChildren says...



Hi, i like this setup of packages hehe, if you're still running these would you mind performing a Quick Critique on the below link please, much appreciated if you could spare the time, warning; for 1 chapter its rather lengthy. like i have mentioned in other threads, i am trying to get a couple of reviews just in the case that there are some things that one may not pick up on when the other doesn't, but i'm not saying i doubt your wisdom :wink:

work.php?id=94222

much appreciated if you could have a look, thanks :D

Ash
Not many remember how life there began, in the lands amidst surrounding walls of stone and pools of deep darkness, but whilst they forget the secrets of the past, they begin to riddle the future with their growing lust for knowledge, greatness and power.
  





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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:26 pm
AlfredSymon says...



But of course Ash! Anything for a friend! There'll be a delay though, because our school's recognition ceremony is coming up! Please understand! :)
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





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9 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 298
Reviews: 9
Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:44 pm
TheSunChildren says...



Oh i completely understand! don't worry about that, if i'm not careful this story will corrupt my own school life anyway :shock: hehe, thanks! take as long as you like, school comes first! 8)
Not many remember how life there began, in the lands amidst surrounding walls of stone and pools of deep darkness, but whilst they forget the secrets of the past, they begin to riddle the future with their growing lust for knowledge, greatness and power.
  





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103 Reviews



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Points: 284
Reviews: 103
Wed Mar 28, 2012 6:29 pm
TinyDancer says...



Hey there :D Could you please review these lyrics? work.php?id=94165

It's been up for several days and I was hoping to get some feedback on it since it's different than anything I've ever written before. Alas, I've gotten no reviews (surprise, surprise). I would appreciate a Quick Critique very much whenever you have time. And I will be more than willing to review any of your pieces in return. Just paste a link at the end of your review if you have anything specific you'd like reviewed. Thank you so much in advance!

~Jess
`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•

“The circus arrives without warning.
No announcements precede it.
It is simply there,
When yesterday it was not.”

`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•
  





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Gender: Female
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Reviews: 4
Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:57 am
SidereaAquila says...



Hi!

Thanks for reviewing my sci-fi novel. I am planning to edit it, so the grammar stuff is very useful. I don't want to take up too much of your time, but do you have any other thoughts about character description? I know what I want them to be like, but I skipped over them because after another chapter or two, they never appear again. Do you think it's still worth it to go into detail on them? Thanks for your input.

Aquila
Skittles: Taste the Spectrum

LIZARD!!!!!
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 1877
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Thu Mar 29, 2012 10:51 pm
theboss says...



Could you please look at my Greek myth rewrite?
I'm doing a project on the stories behind the constellations.
work.php?id=94320

I'd like a pointout or an editors note, be harsh, be blunt, aslong as its honest I can take it :P
  





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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:39 am
AlfredSymon says...



Tiny D and Boss! I'll do your reviews now!
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





User avatar
308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:27 am
AlfredSymon says...



Tiny D! Your piece is so finished! Best be on my way to Greece (Boss's work, I mean) :)
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





User avatar
308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Thu Apr 05, 2012 12:44 pm
AlfredSymon says...



The Boss! It's finished! The Editor was a bit hasty, though, he has a lot to do, so the review is a bit short. Hope I helped!
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





User avatar
308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Fri Apr 06, 2012 2:47 am
AlfredSymon says...



The review are done! Open for new patients!
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





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102 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 928
Reviews: 102
Fri Apr 06, 2012 4:07 am
katngo73 says...



Hai! I'm a pretty amateur writer, and gets most of my learning from Honors English classes.
Sooo,
Quick Critique for any or maybe all chapters of Queen of the Robots, since that is my favorite. <3 (:
Point outs and Quick Critiques for Natural Dancing and El Piggo and the Swine Flu. (For Pig Contest).
Thanks so much! ^.^ Love this!
“There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t act a little childish sometimes.”-The Fourth Doctor
"Who I was, what I did, that's not who I am." - Castiel
"Friends protect you." - John Watson
  





User avatar
308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:15 am
AlfredSymon says...



I can't review these patients! They're locked :(
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





User avatar
308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Sat Apr 07, 2012 9:11 am
AlfredSymon says...



Open for more reviews!
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  





User avatar
9 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 298
Reviews: 9
Sat Apr 07, 2012 2:35 pm
TheSunChildren says...



'Ello, just saw your reply on my wall, i 'think' and i mean 'think' my story is ready for reviewing, if you could give me an analysis of characters and plot that would be great as i haven't got jkuch of a review on that side of things, excuse any gramatical mistakes because i know they're there, they're just hiding :smt003

anyway any feedback in any time would be greatly valued :D

work.php?id=94517

thanks again friend,
Ash
Not many remember how life there began, in the lands amidst surrounding walls of stone and pools of deep darkness, but whilst they forget the secrets of the past, they begin to riddle the future with their growing lust for knowledge, greatness and power.
  








There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.
— Bram Stoker