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Storytelling Reviews



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Sat Dec 18, 2010 7:04 pm
Master_Yoda says...



As many of you know, my activity on YWS has been very limited for the past year. I've been on a post high school program which allows me very little free time, and even more limited internet access. I was forced to redistribute my time and compromise my involvement in YWS. Now, although my schedule hasn't calmed down too much, my priorities have once again shifted. The time that I've spent studying storytelling now needs to be sharpened, and I need to write some reviews.

This Will Review for Food thread is not going to be concentrated on grammar and writing style, but rather on the story itself. I think it's a fairly unique thread and it will help those who wish to perfect the craft of story telling. The main issues I will deal with reviewing your stories are probably going to be:

1.Plot and Story: I used to think that it what a story is about didn't really matter. I still do to a certain degree, but am not as convinced as I used to be. While I've been studying storytelling, I've noticed certain elements that give a story far stronger effect. I'll try to help you sharpen these elements and develop your plot making it more interesting.
2.Tension: I will try to point out how to keep your readers more interested in reading further and closer to the edge of their seats. In terms of both plot and character development, your ability to keep your audience captivated by what you're saying is going to indicate how good you are at telling stories.
3.Exposition: The order and pace at which you expose your information dictates the depth that your stories will be able to penetrate your reader. If you want your story to be memorable and have an emotional impact on the reader, you'll need to have your exposition down to a pat. I'll try to help you develop your exposition and gain the hearts of your readers as well as the mind.
4.Character Development: This has nothing to do with the plausibility of your characters or their Mary-Sue tendencies. It's got to do with the underlying character transition that drives a story forward. I firmly believe that a character transition exists behind every story that is truly going to have an emotional impact on a reader. I'll probably dedicate a lot of my review to helping you highlight your change in character.

Those are the four main elements that will probably come up in most of the stories I review. Depending on the genre and my current mood, I might choose to comment on other more writing oriented ideas such as your prose's quality and dialogue. This will not be my focus, though.

If you'd like to look at my writing, I haven't posted anything on YWS for quite a long time, so take a look at this as it reflects my more recent work: topic73444.html

If you'd like me to review your story please make sure that:
a) The grammar is at least decent enough to make readable
b) You want a critique that focuses on your story telling.
c)You don't mind harsh criticism

Please only post one story here every week, as I still have very limited time. I will probably get to do a review every two days.

Keep well everyone! :)
#TNT

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-- Robert Frost

I review your reviews: viewtopic.php?f=188&t=94522
  





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Mon Dec 20, 2010 1:21 pm
Lava says...



Hey there, Yoda!

I'm not sure if you do non-fic, but if you do, could you take a peek at my intern essay?
If you don't, nevermind. :D

Thanks, anyway!
~Lava
~
Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know.
- Ian McEwan in Atonement

sachi: influencing others since GOD KNOWS WHEN.

  





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Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:19 pm
Master_Yoda says...



Since I've been writing my own essays recently, I've also sort of developed technique in writing personal essays. I'll do it with pleasure, Lava :)
#TNT

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-- Robert Frost

I review your reviews: viewtopic.php?f=188&t=94522
  





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Tue Dec 21, 2010 1:36 am
Sins says...



Hey, Yoda!

When you're done with Lava's and have the time, would you mind reviewing something for me? It's the beginning of my novel and so far, there are two parts to it, both of which are chapter one.

novel.php?id=915

You don't have to review the both if you don't want to, but I'd really appreciate it if you could review at least one.

Please and thank you!
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.
  





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Tue Dec 21, 2010 11:10 pm
Master_Yoda says...



Yours is done, Lava.

Getting to yours, Skins. :)
#TNT

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-- Robert Frost

I review your reviews: viewtopic.php?f=188&t=94522
  





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277 Reviews



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Sat Dec 25, 2010 9:14 pm
Master_Yoda says...



Yours is done too, Skins :)

Hope it was okay.
#TNT

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-- Robert Frost

I review your reviews: viewtopic.php?f=188&t=94522
  





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Sat Jan 01, 2011 5:15 pm
Rosendorn says...



Hey Yoda.

I would very much appreciate a review on this piece of mine. Fantasy short story.

Thank you!


Story's been removed. I knew it was missing the point, so I'll re-request when I have something else.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:52 am
Master_Yoda says...



Hey Rosey

I finally got your review posted. Sorry it took so long but I hope it helps. Feel free to post again, and I'll critique that piece as well.

Yoda
#TNT

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-- Robert Frost

I review your reviews: viewtopic.php?f=188&t=94522
  





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Fri Jan 07, 2011 4:14 pm
LadySpark says...



YODA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! could you please review my story-telling for my new novel The Magi?
novel.php?id=976

Thank ya' kindly,
Pointe
hush, my sweet
these tornadoes are for you


-Richard Siken


Formerly SparkToFlame
  





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Sat Jan 08, 2011 9:58 pm
Sins says...



Hey there, Yoda. :)

You gave me a really great review last time, so I'd really love it if you could give me another. It's part of the same novel, but it's Part Four. Is that alright? I doubt you've read Part One, Two and Three, so I hope you don't mind randomly reading Part Four.

post805054.html#p805054

Because you've only read Part One, it's probably easier for you to comment on Part Four specifically, as its own, rather than the plot and junk like that. Please and thank you! ^^
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.
  





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Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:35 pm
Button says...



I know that you have two things before me and limited time, but when you find some time in the next... four years or so, could you please take a peek at this?

topic74145.html


I know it needs a lot of work, but I'm not sure exactly what to do, and I'd love some input. Thank you so much! :)

-Coral-
  





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Mon Jan 10, 2011 10:56 pm
Master_Yoda says...



Okay, quick note to everyone. Sorry about the delays. I'm busy working on your review now, Pointe.

Skins, mind if I do a review taking the entire story into account? I have in fact read it. I'm a fan.

Persephonia, expect it sometime towards the beginning of next week.
#TNT

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-- Robert Frost

I review your reviews: viewtopic.php?f=188&t=94522
  





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1087 Reviews



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Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:58 pm
Sins says...



*Is slowly taking over this thread*

Of course that's fine, Yoda. :) In fact, it will probably be easier for you to do that considering you've read the other parts. It's nice to hear you're a fan. xD
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.
  





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277 Reviews



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Tue Jan 11, 2011 9:55 pm
Master_Yoda says...



Pointe, Done yours.

Your turn, Skins :)
#TNT

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-- Robert Frost

I review your reviews: viewtopic.php?f=188&t=94522
  





User avatar
277 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 7061
Reviews: 277
Tue Jan 18, 2011 9:14 pm
Master_Yoda says...



Finally got to yours Skins.

Your turn Persephonia. Hopefully I can pull it off in the next couple of days. Sorry about the delays.

Lesson learned: Never promise deadlines. You never know what you're capable of.
#TNT

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-- Robert Frost

I review your reviews: viewtopic.php?f=188&t=94522
  








In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
— JRR Tolkien