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Young Writers Society


Reviews a-la-Vampyre (Not Accepting)



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23 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1168
Reviews: 23
Fri Nov 26, 2010 9:36 am
Vampyre says...



Hey guys!
Obviously, I'm here to review for all you lovely writers out there!

I will review:

Poems

Artwork

Photography

All Short Stories (for grammar and spelling mistakes only, I'm just no good at reviewing the actual stories, sorry)
If I see a short story I particularly like, I may have a go at reviewing it.

In SOME cases novels, see below for details!


My style!
I can be nice, but also harsh if I think something really isn't working, or is cliché. I will pick up on and tell you exactly about everything and everything I think needs improving, and I'm a stickler for grammar/spelling.
Don't be deceived by my lack of badges, I try to always give decent-length and helpful reviews!

Please don't be offended if I say anything harsh, I promise you it will all be constructive.


Novel reviewing!
If you're starting a novel and would like someone to review it all the way through, PM me with a general idea of the genre/plot, and a sample of your novel, and if I like it, I will proofread and edit it all the way through for you.

1 spot open for novel reviewing!
1. SilentRain -Novel
2.

I have no problem reviewing 18+ works.

If you'd like some examples of my reviews, click on any of these:

Poems:
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post788757.html#p788757
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post788370.html#p788370
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post788596.html#p788596
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post790914.html#p790914

Novel Chapters:
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post792342.html#p792342

Artwork/Photography:
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post792653.html#p792653

Let the reviewing begin in earnest!
Vampyre


Review list:
SilentRain - Alas, The Teacher is Dead - Finished.
SilentRain - Novel Prologue - Finished.
Crimsona - Threadbare - Finished.
Last edited by Vampyre on Wed Dec 15, 2010 10:02 am, edited 18 times in total.
That night she drew her swan breath in a bed
Made soft with all her razor blades,
That kissed her wrists with the romance you lacked.
As the hands that you’d kissed now dealt the trades







User avatar
23 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1168
Reviews: 23
Thu Dec 02, 2010 9:54 am
Vampyre says...



*How do I delete this post!*
Last edited by Vampyre on Fri Dec 03, 2010 12:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.
That night she drew her swan breath in a bed
Made soft with all her razor blades,
That kissed her wrists with the romance you lacked.
As the hands that you’d kissed now dealt the trades







User avatar
140 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1354
Reviews: 140
Fri Dec 03, 2010 3:32 am
SilentRain says...



Well, I guess I'm the first to ask for a review,
Well, this --> topic72690.html
Is a poem.

Thanks

~Rain~
topic68479.html <---- Click here to have your poems reviewed!

Theres always a rainbow after the Rain!!!!!!!





User avatar
23 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1168
Reviews: 23
Mon Dec 06, 2010 6:28 am
Vampyre says...



What's this? No one wants a review? O_O
That night she drew her swan breath in a bed
Made soft with all her razor blades,
That kissed her wrists with the romance you lacked.
As the hands that you’d kissed now dealt the trades







User avatar
140 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1354
Reviews: 140
Wed Dec 08, 2010 10:27 pm
SilentRain says...



Hello, so, this is my first attemp at writing a novel, so far all I have is the prologue and I wrote that today, I wrote it and then edited it, but I still need help, please tell me what you think.

topic72994.html
^^ The link

Thanks,

~Rain~
topic68479.html <---- Click here to have your poems reviewed!

Theres always a rainbow after the Rain!!!!!!!





User avatar
23 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1168
Reviews: 23
Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:14 am
Vampyre says...



SilentRain, your review is done! Any more, for any more?
'Pyre
That night she drew her swan breath in a bed
Made soft with all her razor blades,
That kissed her wrists with the romance you lacked.
As the hands that you’d kissed now dealt the trades







Random avatar


Gender: None specified
Points: 1093
Reviews: 3
Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:49 pm
Eavn says...



Hey im a writing a novell where the main character is a vampire. I dont have it finished so im putting it up here in parts. if you could read it that would make me very happy. its Called The Zenith





User avatar
23 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1168
Reviews: 23
Thu Dec 09, 2010 6:58 pm
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Vampyre says...



Ok, could I please have a link?
That night she drew her swan breath in a bed
Made soft with all her razor blades,
That kissed her wrists with the romance you lacked.
As the hands that you’d kissed now dealt the trades







User avatar
23 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1168
Reviews: 23
Sun Dec 12, 2010 9:06 am
Vampyre says...



No one wants a review? Not one soul out there thinks their piece needs critiquing?? *is shocked*
That night she drew her swan breath in a bed
Made soft with all her razor blades,
That kissed her wrists with the romance you lacked.
As the hands that you’d kissed now dealt the trades







User avatar
83 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 323
Reviews: 83
Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:10 am
Crimsona says...



Hello there, can you review my poem for me please?

topic73111.html

Thanks,

~Crim
Avatar (c) to Thalia - A great friend of mine





User avatar
23 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1168
Reviews: 23
Mon Dec 13, 2010 4:09 am
Vampyre says...



...And, you're done! Anyone else?
That night she drew her swan breath in a bed
Made soft with all her razor blades,
That kissed her wrists with the romance you lacked.
As the hands that you’d kissed now dealt the trades







User avatar
17 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2267
Reviews: 17
Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:24 am
IsebellaLynnette says...



Hello there, Vampyre! ^_^

I was wondering if you could review the first chapter of my NaNo for me. As a warning, it's only been minimally edited so far, but I ran through at least five times with spell-checker. XD I'd like another opinion or two (or possibly more :)) on how the story begins and how I can improve. The genre is mix between fantasy and action/adventure.

Oh, and by the way, the link is here:
Against All Odds Chapter One

(Technically it's my prologue, but it's rather long, and one reviewer said it seemed to jump right into the action instead of being like a prologue explaining thingy...but whatever. XD)

Thanks in advance! :)
"There's a big difference between shooting a target and shooting a charging Wargal. A target isn't usually trying to kill you."
~Halt, Ranger's Apprentice Book Two: The Burning Bridge





User avatar
23 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1168
Reviews: 23
Mon Dec 13, 2010 8:08 am
Vampyre says...



Sure! It's fairly long so may take me a little while, but I'll get right on it :)
I've looked over it - looks like a pretty good story!
'Pyre
That night she drew her swan breath in a bed
Made soft with all her razor blades,
That kissed her wrists with the romance you lacked.
As the hands that you’d kissed now dealt the trades







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1087 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 44360
Reviews: 1087
Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:16 pm
Sins says...



When you have the time, could you review this for me, Pyre? :)

topic72983.html

It's the first chapter of a novel. I've just re-edited it, so I'd like to get some new opinions on it. Please and thank you!

~ Skins
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.





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562 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 719
Reviews: 562
Tue Dec 14, 2010 6:14 pm
Button says...



If you have some time, could you please look at this poem?
Sorry to bombard you- I know you have other open requests. Feel free to take as long as you please. :)

topic73251.html



Thanks so much! :D

-Coral-








we went from advice to meth real quick
— ShadowVyper