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Young Writers Society


Apple's Fantastic Review Emporium [Open]



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199 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 14356
Reviews: 199
Mon Apr 12, 2010 6:23 am
Apple says...



Apple's Fantastic Review Emporium

Are you looking for a review? Are you sick an tired of waking to realise that your short story/poem/novel/art work hasn't been review? Are you sick of other peoples work being liked and your left in the dump? That's all about to change with; Apple's Fantastic Review Emporium. You hear right! A new, flashy (alright, revived) emporium has arrived (come back)! A place where all your unwanted things will be reviewed and liked - one hundred percent guarantee - by me; Apple, your friendly reviewer.

Your work will be reviewed in the next twenty-four hours once you've placed down a request.* Not forty-eight hours, not the next week; but straight away! Yes this is one reviewing emporium you can really R-A-V-E too! With a trusted review as myself you'll have no troubles, none what so ever.

Rules and Regulations:

-If I do something wrong I.E. Grammatical or spelling wise, please pm me and tell me what I've done because their is nothing more stupid then a reviewer acting smart about something completely wrong.
-What I comment upon or say is not supposed to come in any kind of offence. If it does, PM me in private and we'll discuss don't paste across my guess book that I'm some beep!
-All works should not be ones that are foul of language, horrifyingly sexual or just past the 18+ mark.
-As I am religious, stories condemning God or any religion is just not worth my attention. I'm sorry, but I will just not review anything on those terms.
-Forgive me for trying to sound smart through the review. :lol:

Explanation of my reviews:

Throughout my review I'll be focussing on two very important parts; your grammar/spelling and the plot/arc of your chapter (or what ever). There will three steps which I'll be going to through:

I. Grammar/Spelling

This will be just me going through and nitpicking all the little mistakes you've made.

"I am a boy!" cried the boy.


After the quote I'll go into an indepth analysis of what you've done wrong and the proper way to go through with this. The fixing will be highlighted in red as seen above.

II. Plot/Arc

Here I'll just be commenting on what I think about your story so far and how I think you could improve it.

III. Overall

This is just my overall opinion of your work.



Code: Select all
[b]Name of short story/poem/novel/art work: [/b]
[b]Genre:[/b]
[b]Quick Synopsis:[/b]
[b]Other:[/b]


*Review time will only be lengthened if I am unable to reach a computer.
Last edited by Apple on Fri Jul 16, 2010 8:00 am, edited 2 times in total.
I spy!





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Gender: Female
Points: 1112
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Mon Apr 12, 2010 6:34 am
Codie says...



Could you please review my story...if you have time. :)

Raven High Link~ topic61816.html

Thankyou





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199 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 14356
Reviews: 199
Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:14 am
Apple says...



Done and done, Codie! :) I'm up for another review....Anyone?
I spy!





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117 Reviews



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Points: 1040
Reviews: 117
Tue Apr 13, 2010 12:18 pm
napalmerski says...



Hi, I just finished a very short novella, fantasy with some romantica, if you feel so inclined... :D
topic61868.html
she got a dazed impression of a whirling chaos in which steel flashed and hacked, arms tossed, snarling faces appeared and vanished, and straining bodies collided, rebounded, locked and mingled in a devil's dance of madness.
Robert Howard





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199 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 14356
Reviews: 199
Mon Apr 26, 2010 8:47 pm
Apple says...



Okay Nap, I'm done. And about time....I have to do shubi's now. I've been so busy...who's next?
I spy!





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Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:20 pm
Sins says...



Why hello ther Apple, dear :twisted:

Could you be ever so kind and reviewthis for me please? It's the second chapter to my romance novel and it's a bit... meh. Also, if it's not too much, could you also review the first chapter? The link to it's in the post of the second chapter.

Thanks in advance,

Skins xoxo

P.S sorry about the creepy face at the start... I'm cool. K? :smt001
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.





User avatar
199 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 14356
Reviews: 199
Sun May 02, 2010 9:58 pm
Apple says...



Here you go, Skins. Sorry for the late review, I never check this forum. Oooo probably shouldn't have said that...but don't worry people I will from now on!
I spy!





User avatar
199 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 14356
Reviews: 199
Tue May 04, 2010 9:07 pm
Apple says...



No one wants a review?
I spy!





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22 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 4211
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Wed May 05, 2010 3:27 am
finishedmakingsense says...



topic62187.html
^^ if you wouldn't mind
Just ignore the messed up tense thing, this is an earlier version and the newer one is on a different computer. I may post if I get around to it.
I protest signatures.





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Wed May 05, 2010 1:51 pm
MiaParamore says...



Hi there Apple. I have been writing a novel for a while now. If you're really thirst for ding the reviews then you can try that out, though there have been six chapters. Anyways, you may turn it down. and I don;'t want reviews for prologue, ch-1, 2, 3. So if you could just check grammar for the remaining(if you don't wanna do the story), then I would be ever grateful to you. The link is in my signature!
Thanks in advance!

~Shubhi
"Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror"

— Paramore





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199 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 14356
Reviews: 199
Wed May 05, 2010 8:15 pm
Apple says...



Sorry for the late reply. I forgot to check it again! :lol:

@ finishedmakingsense-I am done with the review.
@Shubi-Your will take a 'lil time, cause I want to do it well. Though, I'll have it up soon. I must say though, it is very good! (I'm reading it from the beginning)
I spy!





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1087 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 44360
Reviews: 1087
Sun May 09, 2010 3:44 pm
Sins says...



Hey Apple :)

Fancy doing me another review?

topic63089.html

It's the sixth chapter, is that okay? You might have to read the others first to help you understand what's going on. If you don't want to, that's fine! :lol:

Thanks a bunch!
xoxo Skins
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.





User avatar
1087 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 44360
Reviews: 1087
Mon May 10, 2010 8:57 pm
Sins says...



Thanks for the review Apple! It was helpful... sister. :wink:

Thanks again sister.

xxx
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.





User avatar
199 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 14356
Reviews: 199
Mon May 10, 2010 9:01 pm
Apple says...



:lol: No problem.

Who's next, I'm ready to review!
I spy!





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336 Reviews



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Tue May 11, 2010 12:54 am
Jas says...



post702483.html#p702483

Could you review this please?
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~








If you want to make enemies, try to change something.
— Woodrow Wilson