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Jack's Critique Emporium [BACK IN BUSINESS]



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Thu Mar 17, 2011 10:18 pm
Firestarter says...



Heads up: the three reviews above this post will be done on Sunday because of work commitments & other things. Sorry for the delay.
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.
  





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Thu Mar 17, 2011 11:13 pm
ultraviolet says...



Hey, would you mind taking a look at Colors? It's mine and 322sivart's entry to the Poetry Pairs contest thing, and we kinda need all the help me can get.

Colors
Lyric Poetry
Colors, as you can guess, and how they tie in with things

No rush, except before the month's over. Thanks a million. =D
"Blah blah blah. You feel trapped in your life. Here is what I am hearing: happiness isn't worth any inconvenience."

~asofterworld.com
  





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Fri Mar 18, 2011 9:10 pm
CelticaNoir says...



Hey Jack!

I just posted my first YWS novella ever, Blackened Runes. Mind taking a look?
I am the workingman, the inventor, the maker of the world's food and clothes.
I am the audience that witnesses history.
- Carl Sandburg, I am the People, the Mob
  





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Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:14 pm
tgirly says...



I hear you give really good reviews, so I was wondering if you could review the first chapter of my novel, Hunted. Thanks! :)
"Writers aren't exactly people... they're a whole bunch of people trying to be one person."
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
  





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Sat Sep 17, 2011 6:26 am
joshuapaul says...



Hello,

here, an easy one.
topic87682.html
Read my latest
  





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Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:57 pm
Firestarter says...



Roll up! Roll up! Jack's Critique Emporium is open to the public once more! With whole new offerings! Dazzling reviews! Sparkling critiques! Fantabulous comments! We've got all your critiquing needs under one roof!

Seriously, feed me.
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.
  





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User avatar
1250 Reviews

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Gender: Male
Points: 18807
Reviews: 1250
Thu Dec 20, 2012 8:39 pm
Firestarter says...



I'll probably get your review done on Sunday, next two days are mad busy for me with work!
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.
  





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1250 Reviews

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Fri Dec 21, 2012 10:55 pm
Firestarter says...



Done! Reviewing is harder than I remember.
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.
  





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Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:00 pm
AquaMarine says...



If you have time, I would hugely appreciate a review.

work.php?id=98457

Please don't hold back - I'm trying to get into the swing of writing poetry again ...

Thanks!
"It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want."

-Spock.


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Sat Dec 22, 2012 7:40 pm
Elinor Brynn says...



It would be much appreciated if you could take a look:

work.php?id=98486

All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them.

-- Walt Disney
  





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Sun Dec 23, 2012 10:32 am
Unconsoled says...



Could you take a look at this, please?

Thanks.
  





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Thu Jan 03, 2013 11:18 pm
ShadowVyper says...



Firestarter wrote: I've been a struggling poet for a few years now, so if you're a new poet or in a similar situation, I think I can empathise and assist.


New poet? That's me, and I assistance would be lovely!

I'm going to enter this piece work.php?id=98548 in a competition, and would like to know if it's contest-worthy.

Thanks!

~Shady 8)
Shady, Lord of the Shadows

Knight Vyper, Warrior of the Green Room

"YWS' Supreme Nazi of Grammar"~ As dubbed by Holofernes

Victor of the first ever YWS Hunger Games Event
  





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Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:50 am
Firestarter says...



Back in business.
How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings
around my eyes.
--The Replacements

idraax: Europe is weird then. Math should be standardized internationally.
  





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Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:23 pm
WritingWolf says...



The Story of Not (revised)
The Story of Not, Fantasy Short Story
A short story following the journey of a boy named Not as he attempts to fix his broken world. It is told in a folk-tale/fairytale like style.

My biggest concern with this work is that the wording will be to confusing. So please pay attention to that and give me your opinion. :)
I think I've gotten all the grammar/spelling type stuff and with some more reading I'm sure I can get what's left. So I'm not really looking for that in a review. What I am looking for would be comments on story-line/plot type stuff.
I also had one person point out that my sentence structure needs work. I agree with them, but I'm not 100% sure what to do about it without leaving the folktale style. I know that I could add some overly embellished descriptions (that is common in the style I'm going for) but due to the unique nature of my piece I'm having a hard time finding where to put those in. So any direct advice on how to improve my sentences structure would be amazing. :)
Of course, all that is just what I think I want. Often times a reviewer will give me something else and I'm even happier with what they did then I would've been with what I asked for. So you know, review whatever stands out, just keep in mind everything I've said here.

Also, I don't think I'm too happy with that title, so some suggestions would be great! :)
~You can only grasp what you reach for~