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Jack's Critique Emporium [BACK IN BUSINESS]



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Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:02 pm
Firestarter says...



I'm not sure I ever want to review a poem ever again, but if anybody has any short stories for me to review I'll be very happy to do so.

(The above two have been done)
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
  





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Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:52 pm
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iceprincess says...



I really appreciate it if you reviewed the first and second chapter of my novel, Empyrosis. :D
It's about teenagers, though, but I can assure you they're not angsty and hormonal. It's actually a fantasy novel about a pair of twins --- one is an eudaemon (guardian angel) while the one has special powers of her own.
Thank you so much! :D
you'll never find another sweet little girl with sequined sea foam eyes
ocean lapping voice, smile coy as the brightest quiet span of sky
and you're all alone again tonight; not again, not again, not again.
and don't it feel alright, and don't it feel so nice? lovely.


  





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Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:15 pm
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Firestarter says...



Done : )
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
  





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Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:16 pm
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Valentine says...



Hey Firestarter! Here is the link to a chapter in a novel I am writing:

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic67620.html

So basically it's about these teenagers (sorry, I know you don't like stories with them) who get these powers, and all this other stuff. Sorry, it's really hard to explain, but I assure you it's not as cliche as it sounds. Well, thank you!
"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain- TDK"

-My Bloody Valentine Reviews-
  





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Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:32 am
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Firestarter says...



Done!
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
  





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Sat Jul 31, 2010 2:45 pm
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blackbird12 says...



Would you mind critiquing this for me? It could use some polishing and tightening up.

post747121.html#p747121
If I had wings, I would have opened them.
I would have risen from the ground.

-Mary Oliver
  





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Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:00 am
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Yahowshuwa says...



Hey Cuz'. Jem told me you were involved in this site when I was writing on holiday, so thought I'd check it out.

Fancy reviewing part of my novel?

It does after all say you'll review fantastic fantasy, I can at least offer the second part. I can pay by I.O.U or empty promises, your choice. Ta.
  





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Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:07 pm
AngerManagement says...



Hey Jack

Could you please review my short story 'Play.Pause.Rewind.' topic67782.html

Its for a Contest about friendships and it's generally about what happens when some friendships spiral out of control. It IS about teenagers >.> but I tried to make it as un clichéd as I could.
Dont tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass.

Anton Chekov
  





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Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:39 pm
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Flower~Child says...



I have a poem if you would review it? topic67891.html Love you avatar by the way!
My reality comes to a close as I once again realize that you don't love me, and even if I love you with my everything you will never care.

  





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Fri Aug 06, 2010 5:09 am
Yuriiko says...



I appreciate if you rip this apart. :3

topic67956.html

Thanks in advance!
"Life is a poem keep it in the present tense." -Sherrel Wigal


Want to do shout-out to a mod who helped you along the way? Click here!
  





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Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:15 am
Jas says...



I've found it! YES! :D

Part One: topic77182.html

Part Two: post832609.html#p832609


Could I please get a review of the above? It's for a class, due Thursday and needs tons of help. :D Thanks in advance!
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~
  





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Tue Mar 15, 2011 6:04 pm
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Firestarter says...



So jasmine has sort of prodded this sleeping dragon into raging, fiery anger.

Post requests here and there's a possibility I might maybe read it and critique it.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
  





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Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:50 pm
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MeanMrMustard says...



topic77609.html

Dat dere Jack, you should find it different and fun to play with. Thanks! :smt001
  





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Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:21 am
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spike71294 says...



topic77603.html
That Sacred Slut.
Dramatic Poetry I think.
It's about female empowerment.
A review wanted...please :3.
  





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Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:14 pm
Elinor Brynn says...



Hi,

Could you review this poem by Raz and I for the poetry pairs contest? topic77699.html

Thanks so much. ^^

All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them.

-- Walt Disney
  








Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
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