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Sat Aug 08, 2020 10:55 pm
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Shady says...



Heya whatcha,

If you'd like to give a review on: A Fleeting Eternity - Chapter Seventeen I'd greatly appreciate it!

I don't expect you to read all the former chapters so I'll put a pretty brief summary in a spoiler to get you caught up with what you need to know:

Spoiler! :
Ky is from a country called Lytias. The King outlawed tribal Lytiasian years ago, but she came from a small township that still speaks the language alongside the Trade Language (which is the business language of all the surrounding countries).

Ky got kidnapped from her township on orders from the king. She was supposed to end up in his harem but ended up becoming a stable assistant instead and adopted a masculine persona/pronouns to make it believable (I promise the story there makes sense but it's not relevant to you understanding this chapter xD).

Aleth is a Bad Man who is like a criminal mastermind. He carries out connecting assassins to who needs to hire them, arranges trade deals, etc. and he discovered that Ky is a girl, and decided to persuade the king to give Ky to him for a personal assistant, because he needs an assistant who speaks tribal Lytiasian.

On the road she gets angry with him and attacks him, and he responds by attacking her abdomen with a knife. This chapter opens with her getting to Aleth's house, still in pretty rough shape from the fight.

Tadaaki is Aleth's butler who is a pretty decent dude but absolutely terrified of Aleth so he is a perfect little henchmen and ends up helping him do horrible things. Yuane is Aleth's housekeeper and this is the first time Ky is meeting her.



Also the next chapter is also still in the Green Room and if you wanted to review it too that'd be awesome but definitely not necessary if you're not feeling it!
  





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Tue Sep 08, 2020 5:15 am
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Hkumar says...



Hey watcha! I will really appreciate your suggestions for this Chicken poetry :)

Rise of the Planet of the Chicks
I only put my signature on big cheques.
  





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Tue Sep 08, 2020 2:25 pm
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momonster says...



hey! could you review the following works please?
Where do the clouds go?
sand
camping
thanks!
For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.
Romans 6:14 NIV

never apologize for standing up for what you believe in.

previously MomoandAppa, LordMomo, MomoMajesty, and dancingontheclouds
  





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Tue Sep 08, 2020 10:41 pm
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Hijinks says...



@Hkumar thanks for the request, your review is all finished - I had lots of fun reading another wonderful chicken poem!

@LordMomo Sure thing! I've already reviewed your poem "Where do the clouds go?", but I can definitely take a look at the other two ~ you can expect those reviews by the end of the week :)
Last edited by Hijinks on Wed Sep 09, 2020 9:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





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158 Reviews



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Wed Sep 09, 2020 11:40 am
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Hkumar says...



Thanks :D <3
I only put my signature on big cheques.
  





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Wed Sep 09, 2020 8:21 pm
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Overwatchful says...



Hey whatcha! I have a piece for you to review. I'm looking for storyline critiques especially, but anything you have would be helpful.
The Day that Man Won (Part 1)
Quite... Overwatchful
Previously Stormblessed242 :mrgreen:
  





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Thu Sep 10, 2020 6:09 am
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Riverlight says...



Chapter 1: Rain, Reign, Stay All Day

Hello there, whatcha!

There's nothing specific that I'd like you to review about this piece, but I would really love to see what you think about it! @Stringbean and I wrote this throughout much of 2019 and started the sequel a few weeks later. Part three just started a few weeks ago, s we're excited to start sharing this giant mega-child full of drama and unending doom baby of ours with YWS!
The politics of the world may be corrupt, but that does not mean that we must be corrupted ourselves.
  





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Thu Sep 10, 2020 12:27 pm
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Stringbean says...



Vilnius wrote:https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/Vilnius/Chapter-1-Rain-Reign-Stay-All-Day-148674

Hello there, whatcha!

There's nothing specific that I'd like you to review about this piece, but I would really love to see what you think about it! @Stringbean and I wrote this throughout much of 2019 and started the sequel a few weeks later. Part three just started a few weeks ago, s we're excited to start sharing this giant mega-child full of drama and unending doom baby of ours with YWS!

That is a perfect description XDD
she/her/they
acethetic and paronoid
*waves leafy fronds*
  





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Sat Sep 12, 2020 7:46 pm
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Overwatchful says...



Thank you again for the great review, whatcha!
I would love for you to review the second part, as well.
The Day that Man Won (Part 2)
Also, this story is definitely longer than two parts.
Quite... Overwatchful
Previously Stormblessed242 :mrgreen:
  





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Mon Sep 14, 2020 1:32 am
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Hijinks says...



@Vilnius @Stringbean Review complete! Thanks for requesting one (:

@Stormblessed242 You're welcome <3 I can definitely head over to Part 2 sometime this coming week!
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





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Mon Sep 14, 2020 1:36 am
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Riverlight says...



Thanks, whatcha!
The politics of the world may be corrupt, but that does not mean that we must be corrupted ourselves.
  





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120 Reviews



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Sat Sep 19, 2020 9:17 pm
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Overwatchful says...



Hey whatcha! Would you mind reviewing Part 3 of my story once you're done with part 2? Thank you so much!
Quite... Overwatchful
Previously Stormblessed242 :mrgreen:
  





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105 Reviews



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Sun Sep 20, 2020 1:11 am
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momonster says...



hey whatcha! could you review my work The Guard please? Thanks!
For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.
Romans 6:14 NIV

never apologize for standing up for what you believe in.

previously MomoandAppa, LordMomo, MomoMajesty, and dancingontheclouds
  





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Wed Sep 23, 2020 1:35 pm
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emilythebunnie says...



hello, I would love for you to review my short story called the Land of Magic

Genre:
Fantasy and adventure/action

Estimated time:
45 min

Description:
A young girl named Ari has her home torn apart by the kingdom she lives in. fulled by the hatred the crown prince exacts his revenge.

Word count: 11734 words approximately in this short story.

16+ please as it may contain some language.

Thank you for reviewing and have a wonderful time reading. :D
Emilythebunnie
  





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455 Reviews



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Thu Sep 24, 2020 12:24 am
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Hijinks says...



@Stormblessed242 I'll get to Part 3 by the end of the weekend!

@LordMomo for sure!

@emilythebunnie I'd love to review that! Would you mind sending me a link? (Also, welcome to YWS!)
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  








Spend your days thinking about things that are good and true and beautiful and noble, and you will become good and true and beautiful and noble.
— Matthew Kelly