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neptune's reviews



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49 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2484
Reviews: 49
Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:36 am
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AlyTheBookworm says...



Hey neptune!

Mind reviewing the prologue for my fantasy novel, Luminous: Cicadas (Prologue) ?

Not really looking for help with grammar or spelling, and I would like to know what you think of the pacing and characters, but any constructive criticism you have would be much appreciated! Please tear it apart. :)
  





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109 Reviews



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Reviews: 109
Sun Jan 20, 2019 6:25 pm
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neptune says...



@AlyTheBookworm finished! Thanks for requesting!
you can request a review here!
Check out Squills!
  





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188 Reviews



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Reviews: 188
Tue Mar 12, 2019 9:30 pm
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LadyBug says...



Hello! I was wondering if you could review this: Abnormals (Part 2)

Part one was just the main character attending a ball and meeting another person. I spent a long time on part two so I was wondering if you could check it out and tell me how I can make it better.
It's action/adventure and fantasy, rated 12+.
Thank you for considering!
-Jade
:pirate3:
  





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114 Reviews



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Reviews: 114
Thu Mar 21, 2019 7:24 pm
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manilla says...



Odessa with the Bloodied Roses

A flash fiction piece with a weird ending! Would you please focus on the effectiveness of storytelling in such a brevity, and how the story made sense to you? And anything else, of course.

Thank you!
From the wild manila folder of YWS's office.

When the last tree has fallen
And the rivers are poisoned
You cannot eat money


I do reviews: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=188&t=108365
  





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49 Reviews



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Points: 2484
Reviews: 49
Fri Apr 05, 2019 4:19 pm
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AlyTheBookworm says...



Hi neptune! I posted chapter two of Luminous a couple days ago and was wondering if you'd be able to review it as well.

As it's a bit longer than the first chapter, I decided to post it in two 2,000 word chunks, so I understand if you only want to review the first half: Luminous: The Forge (Chap 2.1)

Not too worried about grammar or spelling mistakes. I'm looking more for your thoughts about word flow, story, characters, dialogue, and pacing, but any constructive criticism would be very welcome!
  





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109 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 7955
Reviews: 109
Tue Apr 16, 2019 5:17 am
neptune says...



Done and done!
you can request a review here!
Check out Squills!
  





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28 Reviews



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Tue Apr 30, 2019 1:49 pm
Leviari says...



here's my poem

you are my place

it's my first time posting my writing so any feedback is very well accepted!
  





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155 Reviews



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Reviews: 155
Thu May 02, 2019 8:47 am
Toboldlygo says...



Hi! Would you be willing to review my work? It's a fairy tale I wrote for a friend's baby. I'd love to get it reviewed so I can make it as good as possible before I give it to the baby! :)

It's called The Peri Queen, and it's divided into two parts here because it's a bit long, but when I give it to my friend, it'll be all one laminated short book. I'd appreciate it if you could eventually review both parts, but I also understand if you only have time for one. I'm giving you both links, though.

Part 1: The Peri Queen Part 1

Part 2: The Peri Queen Part 2

Thank you so much! Please let me know if there's ever anything I can review for you!

Toboldlygo
Oxford commas: distinguishing the intelligent.
  





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Mon Sep 02, 2019 9:52 am
wetumbrella6 says...



Hi.

I would be glad if you can review the first chapter of my novel named "Jaime".

It is 9k words long.

Here's the link to it:

Jaime (working title) chapter 1

thanks so much for considering
  








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