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Mythical Reviews!



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Gender: Female
Points: 240
Reviews: 101
Tue Sep 01, 2015 9:33 pm
ParanormalMyth says...



Lets hope I'm not doing this pathetically wrong.
Intro

Hey! Myth Here! Pretty much I just want to practice reviewing, while hopefully helping some people out! I'm pretty new here, and also new to reviewing. I'm good at the obvious: noticing typos/etc. But I'm hoping to get better at helping with the plot, character devolpment, etc.

What I Am Willing To Review

•Novels of any genre
•Short Stories Of Any Genre

What I Am NOT Willing To Review

•Poetry
•Nonfiction Work (though I guess I could give it a shot if you really wanted me to.)

Final Notes

I guess I should say I am a student, so I may not be able to do your review right away. But I will do it as soon as I possibly can! If it takes me longer than 2 days, fell free to remind me so I can try to get right on it! If you want a really professional review, I'm probably not your best option, as I'm new to this :). I just hope I'm able to be some help. Well, Bye Guys and Gals!
Last edited by ParanormalMyth on Wed Nov 18, 2015 10:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Too much blood had flown from the wrist
Of children shamed for those they choose to kiss
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 240
Reviews: 101
Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:45 pm
ParanormalMyth says...



Hiya Guys and Gals! I need your help, I'm way behind with Review Month! I've only done 13 reviews, O.O So I need you Guys to give me things to review! I'd say I've gotten a bit better at reviewing, and in the spoiler is an example of one of my reviews. :)

Spoiler! :
https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/TheFantasy14/The-Return-of-Magic-Part-One-Chapter-Two-Sudden-Magic-123378#c550689 (my review is down on the page, :) Here's it quoted~

Spoiler! :

Hey, TheFantasy14!

Oh my, this chapter was.. Wow! :) I'm going to go on and say that I haven't read the 2 other reviews, so I'm sorry if I rehash previously stated things.

The Review!


Plot

Ooh, I like how you've slowly started introducing the fantasy aspect of the story! The "aura" idea is really interesting. On the other hand, this "love aura" seems quite... Rushed. This is only chapter 2, and here we are taking a semi-deep romantic plunge. Don't get me wrong, I love romance. I just feel the 2 characters should have gotten to know each other a bit better before their giving off crazy pink love auras. Maybe make the conversation a bit longer, because they really don't get much from that exchange at all. Even if they maybe just talk about the book, I dunno.
Otherwise, this chapters plot is very well done.


Characters

Your characters continue to be developed well, so I think we're good here. :)

Other

I just have to say I love that the cat ( I can't spell the cats name, :P)can talk to Avalon. But, the bold text was pretty distracting, at least for me. Maybe italics would work better? I don't know... (I'm sooo helpful, xD)

Typos/Grammar/Odd Sentences


She had no idea what to feel of say

I think you meant "or" :)
His eyes, Ingres saw,

I think you meant Ingred (though Ingres would be a cool name.. ;) )
Is he a friend of yours."

'what's going on.'

You need a question mark instead of a period with these, :)
left Avalon to stare at this cat and raced back down to the mess hall.

The first part of this seems a bit odd.
" we have to get out of here." Ingred urged.

We should be capitalized
from his hiding place, he could hear voices.

a tall blonde haired girl whom Avalon assumed to be Iris was crouching behind her sister.

she had to be strong. for Iris's sake.

she knew it would be quite inadequate against the flail her adversary was holding, but it was the only defense she had.

. giving no evidence she had seen him, Ingred once again gave the woman in the doorway a glare that could turn lead into water.

it was at this point Iris decided to peek out from behind Ingred ant speak up.
(also change ant to and)
These all need the beginning word to be capitalized :)
definately

I stink at spelling, but I think it's spelled definitely.


Overall, this was great and I'm on my way to the next chapter!

~Myth
Too much blood had flown from the wrist
Of children shamed for those they choose to kiss
  





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325 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 689
Reviews: 325
Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:55 am
tigeraye says...



hi. I'm always looking for feedback on anything I've written, so if you want to pick anything from my portfolio to review it'd be appreciated ._.

profile/tigeraye/portfolio
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Gender: Female
Points: 240
Reviews: 101
Wed Sep 16, 2015 2:41 am
ParanormalMyth says...



@tigeraye
I dropped two reviews on your work, and I may end up reviewing another. Thanks for requesting, and I hope I helped! :D
Too much blood had flown from the wrist
Of children shamed for those they choose to kiss
  





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44 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 897
Reviews: 44
Wed Sep 16, 2015 8:07 am
EmmVeePi says...



I apologize in advance I couldn't resist your thread title "Mythical Reviews" as I have a myth I am looking to have reviewed. I am currently working on my retelling of Norse mythology and so far I have through the creation narrative and would very much appreciate a review. https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/EmmVeePi/Norse-Creation-Narrative-122887 I thank you in advance for your review and look forward to your input. Thanks, Emm
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 240
Reviews: 101
Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:11 pm
ParanormalMyth says...



@EmmVeePi
Hey! I'll get on that a bit later today, it should be done tonight at the latest. I'll warn you though, Norse Mythology is probably the myths I know the least about. Hopefully I'll still be able to help, :)
Too much blood had flown from the wrist
Of children shamed for those they choose to kiss
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 240
Reviews: 101
Wed Sep 16, 2015 10:39 pm
ParanormalMyth says...



@EmmVeePi
Ok. This is going to take longer than expected. I've been working for a good hour, and am only 7 paragraphs in. Sorry about the wait!
Too much blood had flown from the wrist
Of children shamed for those they choose to kiss
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 240
Reviews: 101
Wed Sep 16, 2015 11:55 pm
ParanormalMyth says...



@EmmVeePi
Ok. I finished my review! I hope I helped, and thanks for requesting! :)
Too much blood had flown from the wrist
Of children shamed for those they choose to kiss
  





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98 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 133
Reviews: 98
Sat Sep 19, 2015 3:22 pm
yizhongt says...



Hey there, could you please review

Chalice of Life: Chapter 9

Thank you in advance !
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 240
Reviews: 101
Sat Sep 19, 2015 4:39 pm
ParanormalMyth says...



@yizhongt
Hey! I'll get started on that later today, expect your review tonight at the latest. I'll make sure to read the other chapters first as well, and my final review on Chapter 9 may talk about some of the other chapters, but focus on 9. Hope that's okay!
Too much blood had flown from the wrist
Of children shamed for those they choose to kiss
  





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325 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 689
Reviews: 325
Sat Sep 19, 2015 10:00 pm
tigeraye says...



I finished chapter four of Heartbeat Academy. if you have the time to review it for me I'd really appreciate it.

Heartbeat Academy: Chapter Four
dot
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 240
Reviews: 101
Sat Sep 19, 2015 10:14 pm
ParanormalMyth says...



@yizhongt
I finished your review! Hope I helped! :)

@tigeraye
Sure! Your review will be done tomorrow afternoon at the latest!
Too much blood had flown from the wrist
Of children shamed for those they choose to kiss
  





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42 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 244
Reviews: 42
Mon Sep 21, 2015 4:51 am
Storygirl95 says...



Hi! I was wondering if you would take a look at my story "Photographs Are Worth More Than A Thousand Words If You Look At Them Right Way. I've received a helpful review from someone(looking at you, tigeraye ^_^) but I would love if you had the time to read it as well. I want to make it as good as I possibly can, and the only way to do that is to get people to read it!
If you don't have time, I understand. You look like you have a lot of reviews to do! :)
Let me know, and have a great night! :D
Johnny was a chemist's son but Johnny is no more, for what Johnny thought was H2O was H2SO4. :wink:
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 240
Reviews: 101
Mon Sep 21, 2015 5:05 am
ParanormalMyth says...



@Storygirl95
I will most certainly check it out! I will have to do so at a later time though, as it's 1 in the morning where I live. I should definitely have it done in the next 24 hours though! :) Thank you, and I hope you have a good night as well. :)
Too much blood had flown from the wrist
Of children shamed for those they choose to kiss
  





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42 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 244
Reviews: 42
Mon Sep 21, 2015 5:26 am
Storygirl95 says...



Okay, thanks! Don't feel too rushed. Be sure you don't overwork yourself! :)
Johnny was a chemist's son but Johnny is no more, for what Johnny thought was H2O was H2SO4. :wink:
  








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