Young Writers Society

Locked away deep inside my mind is a safe containing the memories of before I turned ten. At that time, I didn't know that when I turned twelve, my life would change before my eyes.

.....

My blue eyes flickered open as I woke from my slumber. I jumped out of my bed and ran into the hallway. My black hair a mess, I sprinted into my mother's bedroom.

"Mom, mom! I'm 12, I'm 12!" I yelled with delight. I could hear her mumbling complaints, but I didn't care.

"I'm finally 12! I finally get to stay up a little later." I thought as my mother sat up and yawned. She saw the grin on my face, and I gave her the biggest hug I could manage.

I loved it, even though, yeah it was short.
I'm interested to see what happens next, but not exactly waiting on the edge of my seat for it. I mean as enthralling as this is, and I quote:

She saw the grin on my face, and I gave her the biggest hug I could manage.

It just doesn't quite do it for me.

Still, you have a nice writer's voice and the earlier sentence:

At that time, I didn't know that when I turned twelve, my life would change before my eyes.

Does almost make up for the lack of excitement towards the end.

Good work

NightWriter x

Well, this was all I have right now. I still need to come up with a more... interesting plot. I tend to go in the same direction when I write things like this. It ends up being this fake version of Lord of The Rings mixed with... I don't know what. I'm trying to not do that this time, so, next bit won't be up for a while.