z

Young Writers Society


DESCENT



User avatar
31 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 897
Reviews: 31
Wed Nov 23, 2011 2:25 am
ZombieSquirrel says...



Extract from Jason Sykes Journal,
As I stared into the abyss, I felt the rage, terror, and paranoia fade; all emotion sucked from me into the shadows, leaving me numb, unable to absorb what I was seeing, I remember it all, but in the moment itself, I was seeing, but I wasn’t believing, I wasn’t accepting that what I was seeing, was my wife, and children.

Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to what seemed like hours, hours stretched on to days, days of standing, and staring. In my mind, everything was going dark, in this state of emotionlessness, memories rose to the surface, Josh’s first day at school, Katie’s first report card, my wedding, calling 911 when Mary first entered labour.
I crawled up to the remains of my son,
“H-Hey Joshy, you want to play some football today,” I turned to my daughter “hey Katie, how’s rehearsal going? Anything I can do?” I finally turned to Mary “Good morning beautiful, how’s about we get the kids and go to the beach today? Just the three of us.” I fell into my family’s gory embrace, hugging their remains crying harder than I’d ever cried. I didn’t want to leave, yet I knew I had to, there were still men out there looking for me, I didn’t want to get caught, “I’ll come back, I will, I promise”
I staggered to my feet and turned my back on what was left of my life.
I realised the Jason Sykes I had been was dead and gone, replaced by someone who would never stop hurting.

TWO WEEKS LATER

The night was humid as hell; there was no escape from the sauna like weather. It crept into my room through the walls like a pack of wolves out for blood. Every pore of my body was crying for this torture to stop, while my mind was savouring the blissful distractions, I could pretend that the weather was my only problem, dealing with an issue by not dealing with it.

I stared out the window; it was all I could do at this stage, all I wanted to do, forever. Outside, rain poured fiercely, nothing new, ever since I arrived the rain has been a non-stop occurrence, this enigma, whilst unnerving at first, is something you adapt to, the locals on the street below strolled down the street, going about their business, completely unperturbed by the gnashing rain. “It’s just something you get used to” I thought once more. The locals themselves were something you needed to get used to as well, dressed in bizarre retro-gothic clothing and make-up, It wasn’t just the unnatural way they dressed, but they also had a pained method to their actions; walking stiffly, often with canes, they kept to themselves, almost shyly, not long ago I would have felt pity for them, now...I feel nothing, even with the knowledge of what these people had gone through, the origins of this cursed place had been the lure for me, it had been the bait that drew me in, my family, forever understanding, agreed to accompany me to this hell hole to investigate. My families origins are directly linked to this place, my grandparents were raised here, they were also one of the few couples that escaped with their lives, after a vicious plague struck the city, leaving the population decimated, both morally and physically, leaving generations to come to be physically mutilated, people born with scars and bizarre skin growths, even without faces. My grandparents had escaped the city shortly before the quarantine hit, they moved away from all friends and family to save their unborn child, my Father. The quarantine lasted four months, and after it passed, the city wore scars that would never heal.

Sixty years later, I had returned to the seed of all my family’s hardships. Due to my Fascination, curiosity, and disgust, I wanted to know exactly what my family came from, a primal fascination with death and destruction, and as a result, my curiosity with this damned city, got my wife, and children killed.

I sat down on my creaky, smelly bed, my mind was breaking, cracking under the pressure I was putting on it to keep my feelings submerged, I can’t really describe it, it was like I was in limbo, in between denial and acceptance, I had stopped myself from accepting what I saw, but every now and then, memories would dash to the ceiling of my mind, and crash ruthlessly against it, resulting in a fit of conflicting emotions, tears ran down my face, resting on the tip of my chin, wobbling like the ornamental fixtures on a chandelier, before falling to the dirty floor, I stood up again, retreating back into myself, the new me that is, I walked over to the bookcase standing next to the window, and took the bottle of whisky standing on the fifth shelf and drained it half way. I then reached up, and took the briefcase from the top shelf; laying it down on the bed to a rapid applause of creaks from the bed frame.
The case opened almost by itself, revealing the twelve gage pump action shotgun resting within, a marvellous creation, capable of doing so much damage with so little effort.

“My friend, we have some work to do, the men that abducted my family, the snitch who won over our trust to betray us, and the general scum of the entire twisted operation are going to have some visits from us…..Where to start? Let’s go back to the beginning, with the snitch, I think we both know his usual spot, let’s go then…this is going to make the world a better place, it will….” I turned from the weapon to the desk opposite, on it laid a mask, a simple Halloween clown mask, an item retrieved from my son Josh’s suitcase, he loved masks, and he had loved making them. This was the first he had ever made. I took the mask, and slid it over my face, it was snug, but it fit. I turned around to face the door; my brain was generating plans,
Schemes, all involved; blood, death, and a shit load of bullets, I took the shotgun from its place of resting; I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door.

ONE WEEK LATER…

I started walking the streets again, I can’t remember what it felt like before all of this, peaceful maybe? Now I walked with a purpose, the rain crashed down on my coat, big and bulky it was, just what I need to disguise the shotgun strapped to my back, and the array of handguns on my person. The one thing I do like about this town, it’s easy to find some scum bag willing to sell you this shit no questions asked, “Best 5000 dollars I ever spent”, I thought to myself. I wore the clown mask over my face, another convenient thing about this place, people just assume that your scarred, and you’re just trying to cover up, the rain pelted my back, forcing me to bend forward. Almost as if the rain was trying to get me to hurry up and do what I was planning, a woman walked by me, she glanced up at me fleetingly then continued into the storm, I paused briefly to watch her go, black jacket, waist
length hair, knee high boots, pale white make up with black streaks down her face to look like tears, both her hands where gloved, well….one hand, her other hand was missing, possibly a genetic defect, or maybe just foul play, at the end of the day it didn’t really matter.

I turned into an alley to escape the storm; I stuck to the most secluded parts of the alley as I walked down its dark path. I reached the end of the alley and turned into the adjacent street. I was half way across the road when I saw him, and in one moment my mind stopped, standing in the light of a street post. His face was riddled with scars, he had attempted to cover up with liberal amounts of make-up, it didn’t work, I had wanted to say something last

Time, but I couldn’t bring myself to, I guess I pitied him….. I stood, my brain had as I said, stopped Images, flashbacks blurring my vision;
He approached us with a knowing look in his eyes, “see you folks are new around here, maybe you want a guide? I know all the best places; hotels, clubs, you name it, I know it.” We didn’t know anyone, and even though I didn’t like the idea of following a stranger, the look in Mary’s eyes told me I was on thin ice, ‘not much of a holiday this is’ she had said as we pulled into the city car park, the last thing I wanted to do was push her further, she was always so trusting, so willing to look on the positive side of humanity. He lead us off the beat track, and brought us to a secluded road, at this point, Mary and I were starting to get worried, this guy, Ralph, was leading us into a ghetto region, I stepped forward to ask where he was leading us, when someone grabbed me from behind, I felt rope around my neck, next thing I knew I was being choked, I fell to my knees, the screams of my family becoming distant, then I felt blackness pushing into my eyes, and I knew no more.”

Ralph was a rat, he found foreigners and brought them to the slaughter, he lured us to that street, away from anyone who would consider helping us, the perfect place to abduct a helpless family. He had just as big a part to play as the fucks that raped them, and killed them, he didn’t notice me as I approached, my footsteps muffled by the rain, he was trying to light a cigarette, unsuccessfully. He didn’t notice me until I was standing over him, he turned casually having given up on lighting his cigarette, and jumped sky high when he saw me, he didn’t recognise me of course, but he was afraid nevertheless, “what the fuck are you looking at?” he shouted. I drew back my fist and landed my knuckles in his nose, it snapped like a twig, blood spurted out his nostrils, he screamed, the unmistakable high squeal of a coward.

He fell back against the wall, sinking down its surface, his hands clapped over his nose, “WHAT THE FUCK! YOU MOTHER FUCKER! I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!”
his words splashed against me like a pebble on the water’s surface, barely causing a ripple, I knelt down, pushing my face up close to his and whispered; “do remember me? You probably won’t, if you do though, I’d be getting very scared.”
“....Jason? It’s you isn’t it? OH FUCK IT IS YOU! Look man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything, but….i got to make a living ya know? If, it means anything at all, I’m sorry what happened, to ya…to ya wife N’ kid, just business yeah?”
I reached out, grabbed a handful of his drenched shirt, “you have no right to apologise to me, don’t victimise yourself, if I were you, I’d stop worrying about feeling guilty about my family, and start worrying about your own life. You live in the shadows, you should know what happens to rats like you, my advice; you should have picked a different career.”
Before he could beg for mercy I raised the shotgun and blew the front of his head off, leaving a crater in its place, brains fell comically to the ground, blood spurted out violently painting the side walk; it was beautiful, I lowered the smoking barrel, spat on his corpse, and left it for the buzzards.


ONE MONTH LATER…

I’ve been busy over the last month….After giving Ralph a face lift I started asking around, trying to find the base of operation, the place where everything happens, my only goal is to find the cock sucker who gave the order; it’s all I want.


I found another small operation, I scouted it out for a week, went in, and killed them all, I found eighteen girls in there, one of them I recognised, the woman I passed; they had removed all her limbs…
I found a lead though; some little runt who shat his pants when I turned the gun on him, he told me quite a bit, still killed him though.
I’m going out tonight, getting ready now, heard about a bar where some fuckers go to get away from work, I’m going to go bring them back to the working world, and I have some new toys to help me.

NEWSCLIPPING FROM THE “DAILYSCOPE”

Last night, the bodies of six young men were discovered by Police.
Police were called to the scene when several passers-by encountered the bodies on the street;
Police are investigating, a Police Spokesperson stated:
“We have a strong feeling that the culprit is the same man responsible for the murder of one Ralph Binados, who was shot and killed last month, we aren’t sure yet but ballistics from both scenes should give us a lead. An autopsy report recently disclosed shows proof of foul play; evidence shows the men were tortured brutally before being shot. ”

ONE MONTH LATER…

I think I’m being followed…. I keep waking up with someone in my head. Voices, telling me terrible things…. Am I going insane? I don’t know, I keep hearing sirens, I keep seeing Ralphs face, there’s blood on my hands, I’ve killed people, I’ve never killed anyone before, something is wrong with me, I don’t think about my family anymore, not long ago I was fuelled by my desire to avenge them. Now….. I don’t really know what my motive is. I sometimes start missing the killing, yesterday a shotgun, today a chainsaw, what about tomorrow? How far will I go? There is something inside my mind, it’s angry, and it knows me, it can control me this way…..I’m scared. Enough of this, I have

Places to go, people to kill, plans to make, this city will be clean, the scum will die, and then…perhaps…

TWO DAYS LATER…

Finally, I found a few goons trying to abduct a woman last night, after a little persuasive talking I got them to spill their guts, they told me the location of the boss himself, they said if he is disposed of, the entire operation falls, they have old fashioned customs, only the boss knows important information, they only get told the bare bones of things, he is in total control, if I kill him, they’ll have nothing, they’ll be screwed. He’s currently residing in the Tickswift Hotel, lots of people there, dangerous, but worth it.


NEWSCLIPPING FROM “THE DAILY SCOPE”

Police continue to uncover details concerning the downtown Tickswift massacre that occurred at the Tickswift Hotel.
According to Police the culprit is Jason Sykes, who has been revealed as the culprit of several local murders. Police were drawn to the scene after an anonymous call alerted Police to the situation at the Tickswift Hotel.
Officers arrived on the scene in time to apprehend Sykes, by that time however; the shooting had burned itself out, leaving the wreckage of a horrific shoot out.

According to the authorities this is “The most gruesome crime ever committed within the confines of the city”, Police gave a statement earlier today:
“According to our medical experts Jason Sykes is mentally unstable, four months ago he suffered the loss of his wife and children, he was drinking heavily whilst driving his family to this very city, according to eye witnesses he lost control of the vehicle and rolled them off the road, he was the only survivor amongst them. We believe that the loss of his family triggered a rapid emotional decline that, untreated developed into the psychosis that he now suffers; we believe this is the reason for his strain of public attacks that he claims are all justifiable. We interviewed M.R Sykes earlier this morning, he claimed he was the victim of some kind of mob attack, he claims a human trafficking circuit abducted his wife and children, tortured them, and left them to die. Our experts say this is a delusion his mind has created as an alternative to the truth, he would much rather have someone to blame other than himself, we have Sykes in custody impending trial.”

Liam Akcroft, a lawyer known for his successful work with criminals has been appointed to defend Sykes in the upcoming trial, shortly after the Police gave their statement, Akcroft stated:
“I am hoping to have Sykes declared insane, if so, he will be transferred to a mental facility, these murders do not fit

Sykes profile, and i strongly believe that had he not been suffering with the condition he has, he would not have committed the crimes we see today.”
The total body count from the Tickswift massacre is currently at sixty five, According to statements both innocent civilians and security alike where killed in the fire fight. M.R Sykes is now in custody awaiting trial later this month.


MEDICAL REPORT, SYKES, JASON.

WRITTEN BY D.R DREW BRACKSWORTH

On first impressions, Jason Sykes gives all the signs of a normal, well-adjusted man, albeit a man who has clearly undergone tragedy, but still puts on the brave face, since his admittance, Sykes had been well behaved, he has answered all the questions we have asked him, and agreed to all medications we have prescribed him.
After my first talk with him I believed him to be normal, he shook my hand on entry, and remained on polite speaking terms throughout.
I believed I saw was a man who was struggling with an illness but was seemingly unaware of its presence, however, on close examination of the footage of our interviews I noticed several danger signs; when I asked him about his family his response was that of grief, this is to be expected, his fantasy of his families murder is built around his sorrow.
However, when I asked about his victims, he showed an expression of pride, this is a strong sign that Sykes mental state has been rapidly deteriorating over the last few months. After the deaths of family, his mind began weaving a fantasy, one powerful enough to make him believe it was true, this has allowed him to externalise the blame for his families deaths, and pin the blame on people he know believes are the culprits for his families murder. Due to his fragile state of mind, it seems as if his fantasy has shaped him into something completely unlike the true Jason Sykes, he feels no remorse for his victims, far from it, he now relishes in the kill, I have diagnosed him with a severe case of split personality disorder, it is my strong medical opinion that Sykes be kept here indefinitely until he shows any sings of mental recovery.
DESCENT
OBITURAY ENTRY
TWO YEARS LATER

Last night at 9:02 P.M, Jason Sykes, the man responsible for the massacre at the Tickswift Hotel, two years ago, was killed while trying to escape the Shirewest mental facility where he has been incarcerated, M.R Sykes held several people at gun point trying to escape, but was killed at the entrance by security who shot him several times, the injuries he suffered killed him almost instantly. M.R Sykes was thirty nine years old.





  





User avatar
84 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1764
Reviews: 84
Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:08 am
View Likes
amygabb says...



Yes, this is horrible. But in an interesting way. I liked the different mediums, like the newspaper article, the journal, and the obituary (which I thought could be longer - maybe talk a little about his childhood). You have a lot of run-on sentences, but that's not the end of the world. One thing that I was having trouble believing was the part that he murdered Ralph, but that he was delusional about Ralph. Sorry, that's really confusing. What I mean is that, if the Main Character accidentally killed his whole family in a car accident, then how did he know about Ralph? How did he know where he was? Overall, I thought the idea was very original.
Life is not about how you sing in the sun, it is about how you dance in the rain.
  





User avatar
103 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 284
Reviews: 103
Wed Nov 23, 2011 5:19 am
View Likes
TinyDancer says...



I have goosebumps! This is fantastic. A very fitting title as well. The person above me already brought about the run-on errors and the whole Ralph inconsistency, but other than that, nothing major was wong with the piece. You presented your character first as a likeable man, then slowly transitioned into the darker side of him, making him less and less likeable. This was highly effective because we as readers got to experience the increasing dislike of Jason as Jason increasingly disliked himself. We were pushed under the waters of confusion as the lines of Jason's own reality became blurred, and personally, I was on the fence about whether the whole police report was true or just a cover-up for this odd town. I was a bit confused with the whole plague thing, and I would've liked to have seen some more elaboraion on it, but I was able to pull the important points from the piece with no trouble with the information you did provide. Anyway, I'm rambling. I see greatness here and once you sadpaper it up a bit, you will have a delightfully horrific psychological thriller. Way to go, as always. Never stop writing!

~Jess
`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•

“The circus arrives without warning.
No announcements precede it.
It is simply there,
When yesterday it was not.”

`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•
  








I have writer's block. I can't write. It is the will of the gods. Now, I must alphabetize my spice rack.
— Neil Gaiman