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The Conversation of Cats Part 2



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Wed Nov 09, 2011 3:46 am
Leahweird says...



By the time the sun started to set, they were already farther away from home than Tom had ever been. The dirt path they were following had dipped into the edge of a small forest. Tom delighted in the way the yellow leaves fell like pieces of sunshine.

“Do I get to give you a name now?” he called up to his companion.

She was up in a tree again. While she swore she was just trying to regain some agility, he suspected she just couldn’t help herself. She swung down from a branch above him.

“What did I tell you about that?”

“That names are a human thing, and cats don’t need them,” he recited. “But you’re not currently a cat. I just need something to say in case someone asks who you are.”

“Fine, but I get to pick my own name.”

He sat down under the tree while she considered. Eventually she dropped down beside him. He could tell she had thought of something by the way her green eyes danced.

“I shall be called Catherine,” she said.

“So you’ll still be Cat?”

“Precisely.”

He sighed. He could see how that would appeal to her sense of humour, even if he would have chosen something more exotic.

“If you insist,” he said, leaning back on the bark. “I’ve been meaning to ask, where are we going?”

She plucked a twig out of her hair. “I’m not sure yet.”

“I thought you said you had a plan.”

“I have several. I just need to decide which one will actually work.”

“You’re such a liar.”

“I am not!” She protested, swatting his shoulder. “Everything I say has some grounds in the truth. It’s my feline duty. Anyways, it’s not like we’re in a hurry."

She had a point. For once in his life, Tom was completely free. Still, he felt he would be more comfortable with an actual destination in mind, even if it didn’t matter where they ended up.

“Come on. Let’s see how far we can get before dark,” said Catherine.

They were deep into the woods by the time true night began to fall. Tom was about to suggest they find someplace to make a camp when suddenly Cat grabbed his arm.

“Be quiet for a second,” she said.

He froze. He couldn’t see anything, but now that he was really listening he could hear noises in the trees around them.

“What is that?”He whispered.

“I don’t know. Shush.”

All at once a group of men burst into open. Two of them grabbed Tom by the shoulders and a couple of vicious kicks brought him to his knees.

“Tom!” cried Cat.

She lunged toward him, but a third man grabbed her around the waist while the last held a knife up to her throat.
“Look what we have here,” said the man with the weapon, leering at her.

Tom saw her grow pale, and he couldn’t blame her. He could all too easily imagine what these ruffians would do with a pretty girl. He earned himself a few more blows trying to break free and get to her.

“I’m so sorry,” she said.

Their attackers started swearing as she abruptly vanished. Only Tom was watching for the orange blur that dissolved into the forest.

“Did you see that?”

“She disappeared!”

“It must be magic.”

Tom suppressed a groan. Everyone at home laughed at him when he said he could talk to animals, yet these random bandits believed in magic.

“This one must be a wizard,” said one of the attackers.

He was burly and unwashed, but so were the rest of them. His real distinguishing feature was the green felt hat he was wearing. It was obviously stolen, probably from the last person to walk into their ambush.

“Then why didn’t he curse us or something?”

“He must have used up all his magic transporting his familiar.”

“I thought only witches had familiars.”

“We should kill him before he gets his powers back,” interrupted the man with the knife.

“You can’t just go around killing wizards,” said the one in the green hat. “What if he has some kind of death curse on him? Bring him along, we’ll decide what to do with him later.”

Tom decided now was not the time to correct their misconceptions. As the bandits dragged the boy away, their still mystified companion collected the woman’s things. He wasn’t one to leave a good pair of boots behind.
Last edited by Leahweird on Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:19 pm, edited 2 times in total.
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 915
Reviews: 26
Wed Nov 09, 2011 8:42 am
pandapez says...



Hi Leahweird : ) Great story! I just have a couple of grammar mistakes to point out:

Although he felt he would be more comfortable with an actual destination in mind, even if it didn’t matter where they ended up.


"Although" seems like wrong word choice for this context. "Still" would be better, and it should be followed by a comma.

Tom was about to suggest they find someplace to make a camp, when suddenly Cat grabbed his arm.


The comma after camp isn't necessary.

Two of them grabbed Toms by the shoulders and a couple of vicious kicks brought him to his knees.


I'm pretty sure that's a random 's' after Tom that shouldn't be there.

Only Tom was watching for the orange blur to disappear into the forest.


This reads a bit weird to me. I'd change 'to disappear' to 'that disappeared' because it fits the tense you've been using better.

Their attacks started swearing as she abruptly disappeared. Only Tom was watching for the orange blur to disappear into the forest.


'attacks' should be 'attackers'

Overall, this was really well written and pretty entertaining. Your dialogues were especially great to me; the bandits talking about him being a wizard made me laugh. : )

Anyway, hope this helps and if you have any questions feel free to ask!
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 2629
Reviews: 54
Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:06 pm
apple96 says...



Hi Leah,

It's me again! Right I really enjoyed readin this, especially as Catherine finally got a name!

Anyway I only found one or two mistakes but they are easily fixed.

he was really listening he could her noises in the trees around them.


This doesn't make sense is the her meant to say here?


What if has some kind of death curse on him?


What if he has some sort of death curse on him?


Other than that everything about this seemed fine. I loved reading it and hope more of it is posted soon.

- apple96
'Are you saying Ni to that old woman?'
'Yes'
'Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history'
  








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