z

Young Writers Society


The Conversation of Cats



User avatar
136 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2952
Reviews: 136
Sun Nov 06, 2011 7:23 am
Leahweird says...



“I’m hungry,” announced the cat.

Tom just continued sweeping. He knew better than to take this statement at face value. The small pumpkin tabby began to swirl around his legs.

“We won’t get fed at all if you keep distracting me,” he said.

“I know, and I think that’s pathetic.”

“Keep your voice down! My brother's going to hear you.”

“Why should I care? It’s not like he can understand me.”

“If you disturb him while he’s with his friends, he’ll try to make me get rid of you.”

“As if you would ever consider doing that,” it countered, pressing against his legs and making it truly impossible for him to do his chores. “He’s up there with his friends and you’re down here working, but he won’t even guarantee food and shelter, let alone money. Don’t you think it’s unfair?”

“Sure, but what can I do about it? Father left the mill to him, and no one else is going to hire me. They all think I’m crazy.”

“I feel slightly responsible for that.”

“Slightly?”

Years ago, Tom had pulled a tiny kitten out of the mill pond. Ever since that day, he could talk to animals. No one believed him though.

“Yes. That’s why I’ve decided to help you. Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do,” he replied. The cat was his closest friend, and it was certainly smarter than a lot of humans he’d met.

“Go get me some of your fathers old clothes.”

Tom thought about asking why, but there was a distinct possibility that this was a test. He decided to simply follow orders. It was tricky getting through the main house without his brother spotting him, but it sounded as though he and his friends were already fairly intoxicated, so it wasn't that much of a problem.

He didn’t know why the cat wanted these things, so he decided to bring his father’s boots as well. They were practically new when the old man passed away, but since they were too small for either of the boys they’d been put in storage.

When he returned, the cat was sitting on the bags of flour in the corner. It was not allowed to do this, not that it really mattered.

“You remembered to bring shoes! How clever you are,” it exclaimed, rewarding his thoughtfulness.

“What are you going to do with this stuff?” he finally asked.

“I’m going to put it on,” it said, tail twitching. “I can turn into a human.”

The statement was obviously meant to be provocative. It waited expectantly for his reaction.

“That’s not very surprising, really.”

“What? Why not?”

“It’s kind of obvious you’re not a normal animal.”

“You’re no fun,” the cat scolded.

When it began to lick its toes in irritation, Tom gave in.

“I’m sorry. Please tell me more.”

“Well, when I was little, I had a run in with a shape shifting ogre. He tried to eat me, but I tricked him into turning into a mouse and ate him instead! I was quite clever. Anyways, ever since then I could change forms. And when you jumped into the water to save me, the magic must have rubbed off on you.”

“Does that mean I could become a cat?” Tom asked, excitedly.

“Probably not, or you would have done it by now. I mean, at the time I was doing it mostly by accident. Otherwise I wouldn’t have needed your help in the first place.

“Oh. Well, can I at least watch you change?”

“No.”

“Is it really disgusting? Or is it one of those spells that only works if nobody’s watching?”

“Of course not. I just need a minute to put the clothes on.”

The change itself must have been instantaneous, but he felt like he’d been waiting for ages before he was told he could look. Belatedly, he remembered the reason for the cat’s modesty.

“You’re a girl!” he exclaimed, as if it were a surprise.

If there was any doubt that this person had once been a cat, the look she gave him would have convinced him.

“If you didn’t know that already, I take back that comment about you being clever.”
She was back on the bags of flour, pulling the boots and trying to comb out her short orange hair with her fingers. Her graceful, fastidious motions reminded him of her feline form, as did the green of her eyes and the patch of white at her throat.

“I knew! It just didn’t seem to matter before.”

“Do I make you nervous? Is this going to bother you?”she asked, stretching her arms.

“No, but if I might have brought you a different outfit. Maybe something of my mothers.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. If I have to wear cloths at all, I am not being stuffed in a skirt. Why should it matter?”

“I suppose it doesn’t.”

“Glad we agree,” she said, leaping to her feet. “Shall we be off then?”

“Now?”

“Yeah! We’ll go get some food or something. It’s not like you have a reason to stay”

He looked around at the mill and all the chores still left to be done. Yet if he was really leaving home for good, it wasn’t as if his brother could punish him, and work shouldn’t have been Tom’s responsibility in the first place.

“No, I suppose I don’t.”

And with that, his companion marched him out the door. He admired how dextrous she was at walking on two legs instead of four, despite being out of practice. Then again, she was a cat.


Spoiler! :
Want to play guess the fairytale? This one is probably pretty easy.
Last edited by Leahweird on Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





User avatar
279 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 40
Reviews: 279
Sun Nov 06, 2011 11:25 am
MasterGrieves says...



Heeheeheehee. This unleashes the child in me for sure! I <3 cats! My favourite film used to be The Aristocats when I was a diddy boy! This is really, really cute and sends back a lot of memories. I loved the closing line too, giving it a very humorous and comic tone. It has a very childlike innocence to it which I love. I have to say I couldn't guess the fairytale! Please let me know! I loved every sentence. It was like taking a trip through memory lane. Flawless. Lovely. Cute. Innocent. Those are the words I associate with this story. Wait- did I just see, "Chapter 1"? Oh goodie! There's more! WOW! You have impressed me! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!
The Nation of Ulysses Must Prevail!

If you don't like Mikko, you better friggin' die.

The power of Robert Smith compels you!

Adam + Lisa ♥


When you greet a stranger look at his shoes.
Keep your money in your shoes.


I was 567ajt
  





User avatar
52 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1931
Reviews: 52
Sun Nov 06, 2011 12:18 pm
annaseale1998 says...



It was originally the title that got me to read this, and I'm glad it did. It was just plain fun to read. The first line was good, made you want to read on. There are a few grammar mistakes in there, but not big enough to point out. You've made the fact the cat talks and shape shifts a little believeable, somehow. As in, when you read it, you don't scoff and go 'Ugh, a childish fairy tale'. The personality of the cat is quite human like, before and after it shape shifted. The only thing I don't really like is that if the cat has been the boy's best friend for a while, and it can talk, how come he never knew it was a girl? Also, the cat doesn't have a name. So you spent the entire chapter calling her 'she', 'his companion' and 'the cat'. Giving her a name would have been a lot easier. Apart from those things, it was very good. The writing style was simple, but not childish, and if you ever post more of this, I'll definitely read it!
-Anna
"For whether a place is a hell or a heaven rests in yourself, and those who go with courage and an open mind may find themselves in Paradise." - Eva Ibbotson (Journey to the River Sea)
  





User avatar
136 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2952
Reviews: 136
Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:54 pm
Leahweird says...



He knew she was a girl. It was just weird for him because he didn't really think of her as having a gender. That's why she's so so unimpressed with him acting shocked. Also she will get a name eventually. It's part of her character that she won't tell him what it is. Anyway, I will try and fix things things in the editing process.

Thank you both for your comments! I'm so glad to hear tha I've got the tone I wanted. There is definetly more of this coming, and I hope you will enjoy those as well.

As for the fariytale, I'm going to put it in a spoiler below in case anyone else wants to play.
Spoiler! :
It's Puss in Boots. I left a couple hints in there, but I wanted it to become more obvious over time. The fact that you couldn't guess right away is actually I goos thing as far as I'm concerned. I have such an encyclopedic knowledge of fairytales that ut's hard for me to tell what other people are going to pick up on.
  





User avatar
54 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2629
Reviews: 54
Sun Nov 06, 2011 10:07 pm
apple96 says...



Hey Leah,

Yey! I knew it was Puss in Boots, from the fact it was a cat wearing boots . . .

The emphasis over the fact he remembered the shoes helped :)

I also do really want to know the cat/girls name but as it works if she tells him her name eventually. It adds to the mystery surrounding this shape shifting cat.

Also the name of this piece reminds me of the musical Cats!

- apple96
'Are you saying Ni to that old woman?'
'Yes'
'Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history'
  





User avatar
158 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 425
Reviews: 158
Sun Nov 06, 2011 11:24 pm
Payne says...



Hey there, Leah.

This was a very enjoyable read and, as some of the other posters mentioned, the title really drew me in. I generally like cats as characters, because their personalities are usually so entertaining. You definitely delivered on that expectation.

It was bothering me a bit that the cat was being referred-to as an 'it.' I understand your reasoning, but maybe you could somehow explain in the story that Tom either never considered finding out the cat's gender, or knew her gender and just never thought much of it.



“And when I jumped into the water, the magic rubbed off on me?”


This line sort of came out of nowhere. Tom doesn't really seem like a magic-savvy guy, so it seems weird that he would even come up with this possibility. This is just an observation, of course. Feel free to ignore it.

There were a few issues with grammar and punctuation, mostly with possessive nouns lacking an apostrophe. For example:

My brothers going to hear you.”


And I was thinking it was probably Puss In Boots, but I wasn't sure. Anyway, good story. Keep on writing!
I aim to misbehave.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me? --Steven Wright
  





User avatar
136 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2952
Reviews: 136
Wed Nov 09, 2011 3:48 am
Leahweird says...



Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments! I have fixed the errors mentioned, and tweaked some things to fix some of the issues. Hopefuly they will suffice until I can edit properly.

I just posted the next portion, in case anyone's interested. (Shamless self-promotion)
  








If you are tired remember it's a sign that you haven't expired
— fatherfig