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Cosmos (Outer Space) Part 6



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Mon Aug 22, 2011 9:36 pm
ZannaShepherd says...



That's what the movies show~

“Lame, lame, lame.” Everything that surrounded me was absolutely primeval. It was almost like these humans were living in the destruction from a holocaust or something. Nothing, not even the newer looking buildings, were well kept. As if someone went around randomly putting things up and then forgot about them. Not only was the wear and tear evident, the filth was mind boggling. Didn’t these humans feel any obligation to their planet what so ever? It wasn’t like they had a new one they could all go to once they ruined this one, didn’t they get that?

“Key, stop examining everything so closely. People will think you’re weird.” Pixie gave me a gentle shove in the back, and I turned to face her and Chess.

“Like they don’t already. I mean, have you seen anyone else around that has purple eyes, or colorful hair? We stick out like a sore thumb.”

“I’ve seen a couple people with bright hair,” Pixie pointed out.

“Yeah, but it’s obviously not natural. If you haven’t noticed, everything on this planet is dull, and primitive.” I sighed. “Why are we out here again?”

Chess gave me a pitying look. “Because, Lion kicked the three of us out earlier and told us to familiarize ourselves with our surroundings while he and Who went to find someone willing to buy gold.”

“Right. But what’s the freakin’ point? We should be trying to find a way to get back home, not sight seeing,” I ranted, still furious with our predicament.

“Calm down, Key,” Chess muttered, glancing around as a few passerby’s looked in our direction. “Lion’s working on it the best he can, but right now we need to sit tight and do as he asks.”

I knew I was being unreasonable so, taking a deep breath, I tried to do as Chess asked.

“Fine.” Shoving my hand into the pocket of my jeans, I grabbed the wad of cash Lion had given me before we left, after he’d explained the currency and such.

Lion, always the one to think ahead, had grabbed all of the instruments made of gold out of the hover craft before disposing of it. Even though he hadn’t known where we were, gold was gold, and could always be sold or traded. The night Who was in the hospital, he had traded some to Ralph for cash, so that we could pay for Who’s medical bill, later finding out that he’d been seriously ripped off. The past week and a half, he’d traded some here and there, in small bits so that people wouldn’t get suspicious.

He warned us to use the money we had sparingly, as we had no means by which to replenish our supply. Hence the overly cheap apartment.

I seriously thought it an absolutely ridiculous idea to have currency made out of something so chintzy, as paper. It was so unreasonable. Easily lost, stolen, destroyed, why were humans so stupid? Back home, anything that was made, was made to last. This was the first time I’d actually held something made of paper. Such a waste of natural resources.

Pushing these thought aside, I focused on the here and now. “So peeps, where to first?”

“I’m totally starving,” Pixie announced. “I think we should go get something to eat.”

I grabbed my stomach and moaned. The super refined, un-nutritional food of this planet, did not agree with me, to say the least.

“Wuss,” Pixie smirked. She, on the other hand, loved it.

Ignoring Pixie’s remark, I turned to Chess. “What about you? Got anything you want to do?”

“Hm, well there is this one smell I’m curious to know what it is. But if you’re not up for the whole food thing, that’s fine too.”

I glowered at him. Ever since we’d crashed, he’d been treating me like a delicate flower that could break at any second. Chess wasn’t like this, he wasn’t polite, or kind, or concerned about what others wanted. He was a selfish, conceited jerk, always looking for a fight, even when there wasn’t one.

“What?” he asked, taken aback by the look I’d given him.

“Nothing,” I replied tartly.

“Guys, quit bickering. Let’s go find out what Chess smells and maybe it’ll be something I can eat,” Pixie whined.
“Whatever,” I huffed, still glaring at Chess. He gave me one last confused look, and turned to head in the other direction. Giving my surroundings a last, distasteful sweep, I reluctantly followed.


*

“Popped corn?”

This smell was just popped corn? Although my initial dislike of human food was still at the back of my mind, I couldn’t help my mouth from watering at the . . . unique smell issuing from the strange looking contraption full of fluffy yellow corn.

I’ve had corn before, not huge on the whole getting it stuck in your teeth issue, but there was nothing that even came close to something like this back home.

“Key?”

“Yeah, Pixie.”

“You think we could buy some?”

I looked back at my two companions, feeling rather nervous. Observing this planet and its inhabitants was one thing, interacting them was on a whole other level. Our past experiences so far with Ralph and the Doctors were not very confidence building, and I was reluctant to try.

“Key, relax, it can’t be that difficult. I mean it’s obviously not that big of deal, look at all of the humans doing it.”

I met Chess’s gaze, and slowly nodded.

Well, whatever. We needed to do something; loitering around the window, we were starting to attract attention.

Chess gave me a smile, and I was thankful as he took the lead.

Walking through the open door, we headed for the counter in front of where the popped corn was.

“Excuse me!”

I halted in dread as a demanding voice called out. Turning back the way we’d come I found a male human, looking at us with an annoyed if not somewhat bored expression.

“Yes?”

“You need to purchase a ticket before you proceed any further.”

“A ticket?” My inside’s twisted in knots. What the heck was a ticket? I glanced at the door, maybe it wasn’t too late to leave. I knew we shouldn’t have come; we weren’t ready to associate with these primates. Everything about them was foreign, and we didn’t have the slightest clue as how to act around them.

“Tickets for what?” Pixie chirped, still eyeing the popped corn.

“Whichever movie you’d like to see,” the human droned, now officially fed up with us.

“Movie?” I whispered to Chess. He shrugged, and approached the human behind the counter.

“Which one do you suggest?” Chess asked, sounding much calmer than I felt.

The man rolled his eyes, “I could care less, just let me know so I can get you your tickets.”

“Um, it doesn’t matter, just give us whatever.” The man looked at Chess, a perplexed expression on his face.

A line was starting to form behind us, and people were getting impatient.

An idea forming in my mind, I pulled Chess back, “We’re still deciding, let them go first.” I told the human, indicating the other people. He shrugged, and turned to the lady behind us.

“Guys, just observe what they’re doing. This could be a good learning experience,” I whispered to Chess and Pixie. They nodded, the latter not really paying attention.

I watched as the humans in line approached the counter, asked for however many tickets their group required, and said a certain phrase afterwards. After watching several groups go by, I realized there were only seven phrases they said. These must be the ‘movies’ the guy had mentioned.

Afterwards, the not very helpful human behind the counter would say an amount, they would pass over some currency, and he would give them a small piece of paper. This I assumed was the ‘ticket’ needed to enter, as when they were done they proceeded onward to the counter where the popped corn and other drinks and cheap food could be purchased. Once they were done there, they moved on down the hall, and disappeared out of view.

The mystery of what was down that hall intrigued me. Why were all of these humans attracted to this place, and what happened down that hall? I didn’t think it was something that I should be wary of, there were several young humans along with their parents, and they seemed excited to be here, not scared.

Making up my mind that I was ready, I headed for the back of the line with Pixie and Chess trailing behind. A thrill at the challenge of trying to imitate these strange creatures ran through me, and my anticipation grew as the line moved along.

*

I stood half in a daze, with Pixie and Chess, outside of the movie building. As it turned out, ‘movies’ were just a colossal waste of time. It was a way humans entertained themselves, and I found the movie we watched rather disturbing. I wasn’t sure how they made them, but they seemed similar to the memories we watched on players back at home. The only difference was that memories had a point, and they weren’t made up. We could learn from them, where as movies, or at least the one we watched, was just some hokey plot that a human had come up with. A fantasy, of some untrue reality. Basically a lie. Why humans wasted there time watching them, I just didn’t understand.

On the upside we’d gotten to buy some popped corn, which at least hadn’t made me want to throw up, and as it had turned out, we hadn’t even needed to watch the stupid movie. On the way out, I’d noticed a small sign that read ‘Concession Items Available to Public’. Oh well, at least it hadn’t turned out as badly as I’d expected. I glanced over at Pixie, who held a large bag to her chest possessively.

“Remember, that’s for Who and Lion,” I admonished with humor.

Pixie sniffed, but didn’t loosen her grasp.

“Well that took long enough, I guess we could probably head back,” Chess suggested, stretching.

“Agreed. Sitting like that for two whole hours had a very draining affect on me,” I complained. “I feel like that ‘zombie’ out of the movie.”

Chess laughed. “Humans do have very strange ideas, don’t they?”

“Yeah, but what they lack in brains they make up in delicious food,” Pixie added her two cents.

As we headed back, laughing, and talking over the events of the last few hours, I almost felt things were normal. Almost, but not quite, as the gaping hole of Who’s accident, and our hopeless predicament, made that impossible. And I knew that no matter what, even if we did find a way to get home, things could never be the same.
In order to write about life, first you must live it!

Ernest Hemingway

Hmm, must be why I only write fantasy, that's the only life I've ever lived.
~Zanna
  





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Fri Aug 26, 2011 10:23 pm
IcyFlame says...



I've only a coupe of nitpicks for you, hope they're useful!
ZannaShepherd wrote:“Yeah, but it’s obviously not natural. If you haven’t noticed, everything on this planet is dull, and primitive.” I sighed.

Then what's to say their hair is? Not to the reader of course, but to the residents of the place they're currently in.
ZannaShepherd wrote:“Fine.” Shoving my hand into the pocket of my jeans, I grabbed the wad of cash Lion had given me before we left, after he’d explained the currency and such.

This just doesn't sound quite right.
This was quite a nice chapter actually. Not that eventful, but it was nice for re-establishing the relationships between the characters. I love you MC too, she just seems so natural!
  





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Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:58 am
StandStrong says...



“Right. But what’s the freakin’ point? We should be trying to find a way to get back home, not sight seeing,” I ranted, still furious with our predicament.

I think you could safely eliminate everything from "Right" to "Point" and not lose the meaning. She's obviously questioning the point if she's questioning the command.

I grabbed my stomach and moaned. The super refined, un-nutritional food of this planet, did not agree with me, to say the least.

You don't need some of the commas in this section. Huh, I also added a dash between "Super" and "refined"... "The super-refined, un-nutritional food of this planet did not agree with me, to say the least."

I have a question--the characters use the terms "wuss" and "peeps", so are these terms that they have, too, or did they pick them up by being around people?

I have to say that I loved the description of the movie theatre!!! Also the reference to a similar thing based off memories from their home. And their names are sweet. Love, love, love.
...so, yes, I am just randomly jumping into the middle of the story. I tend to do that a lot, as it gives me a good idea for how the story is and where it is going. You've managed to get me hooked. Good job!
Normally I go through the entire story via a spoiler and comment throughout, but your work didn't need that--very good. If you desire me to be even more critical, just ask and I will gladly return to it when I'm not slightly frazzled and grateful for an author who has a good grip on voice, dialogue, and style. I will be reading (and reviewing) your other parts.
Bob: hmm, there's a lesson in all this.
Mr. Eglamore: Okay. Let's hear it.
Bob: Never let sixty angry kids use a herd of laser cows to take over your house.

Gunnerkrigg Court is awesome.
http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=632
  








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