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The Collectors (part 3)



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Sat Aug 13, 2011 3:37 pm
AddictionToFiction says...



The next three days I spent doing two things: practicing the magic to keep the Collectors from catching and killing me, and getting ready to go back to the Naiad Pool. I’d seen a few more dead people, mostly children, in those days, and they were the ones I had to practice on.

There was no sign of the Collectors, and for that I was grateful.



On the fourth day, Denror announced that we were going to the Naiad Pool. I was still apprehensive, but I had to admit I was ready for this whole thing to be over and done with. I wanted to go home and forget that I ever saw dead people.

“Should we bring something? As a sort of gift or exchange?” I asked.

“Did you give them something last time?” Denror asked.

“Yeah. Amusement. One of the naiads almost drowned me. And I don’t feel like doing that again,” I said.

“I see. What would you give to a naiad?”

I gave him a quizzical look. “You never studied up on them or anything?”

“I find there is very little known about them that has ever been written down, so I have no means by which to study,” he said.

“Of course not. And what is there is mostly wrong. Well, I’ve been to the Naiad Pool three times in my life, and they always like to trade. Information for something shiny, I suppose. One time I had found a gold necklace with this huge diamond pendant, and the naiad was obsessed with it. She made me give it to her in exchange for what I wanted. The only other time I went I had this stone that was dozens of colors, and the naiad had never seen one before so she wanted it. There’s always a trade. Last time the girl didn’t talk about trade, just questioned me. So we should bring something, either something very rare or something very glittery and valuable to humans.”

I hadn’t noticed that Denror had been writing down what I’d said until he hopped off his stool and shut the pad of paper. He made his way over to the dresser, which was short even by dwarfish standards. He rummaged through the doors as I pulled my boots on. When he found what he’d been hunting for, he shut the drawers and came back and produced the most amazing gemstone I’d ever seen. It fit in his fist perfectly and seemed to be carved of red amber. Inside the stone, a bleeding heart flower was suspended.

“Will this do?” he asked. I picked up the stone and held it in my hand thoughtfully. It was about a pound perhaps, and the surface was perfectly smoothed. I nodded in approval and we headed to the Pool.

It wasn’t half as long of a trip as I remembered last time I was there. After less than ten minutes of walking we made it to the Pool. Denror waited a few feet away from the water, claiming that dwarves and swimming were not at all compatible. I rolled my eyes at that, but did the work myself.

I said the same three words as last time and shoved my hand underwater. I counted out the seconds and hadn’t gotten past nine when I felt sharp pricks in my palm and another hand grab mine. I pulled and the naiad emerged. I was shocked to see that it was the same girl as before.

“Hello again, Angelita,” she said.

“I feel bad, you know my name but I don’t know yours,” I said. I didn’t really feel bad, just slightly annoyed.

“Call me Narisza,” the naiad said. “Now, why did you summon me again? Do you wish to swim again so soon?”

I produced the stone from the pocket in the shirt I was wearing, and showed it to her. “No, but I have a question.”

Narisza reached out to grab it with her free hand, transfixed by it, but I pulled it back before she could. She pouted but settled down into the water. My arm was underwater up to my elbow, and she seemed satisfied with that.

“What’s your question?” she asked.

I set the gemstone down by my feet and unlaced the front of my shirt just enough so she could see the thing under my skin. “I want to get this out,” I said.

She threw back her head and laughed. “That’s what you came here for last time,” she said. “And that was hardly a question. Ask a proper question and you might get a proper answer.”

I ground my teeth in annoyance, but forced myself to calm down. “How do I get this out of my skin?” I asked.

She reached up and thrust her hand at me, her palm stopping on the pendant. I couldn’t help but try and get away, but Narisza was deceptively strong and held me down with the one arm underwater. When she pulled away, I felt a throbbing in my chest, and she looked thoroughly impressed. For a fleeting second, I had thought she had removed it. But it was still there, only the skin around it was slightly pink.

“I see. It hummed down there you know. I didn’t like it much. Now I know why. I would have thought your small friend there would know how to remove it. It’s simple, but difficult.”

“What do I have to do?” I asked, ready to get my hand back.

She smiled at me. “Kill one of the Collectors. Their blood is the only way to remove it.”

My grip on her hand almost fell away, but it was her holding on this time. “There… isn’t there another way?” I asked, my voice hitching.

She shook her head aloofly. “There is no other way,” Narisza said. “Now, have you any more questions?”

“If I get rid of it, will I still see the dead?” I asked almost instantly.

“That depends. If you are harmed by a Collector, than it may take quite awhile for you to lose your second sight,” she answered.

I reached back and picked up the stone from my feet, and held it out to her. “Thank you,” I said.

Narisza released my hand and delicately took the stone from my palm. “Of course,” she said, giving me a flash of a smile. She disappeared under water and I pulled my hand back.

Stuck in my palm were nine silver-blue scales. I stood up and walked over to Denror, and then sat right back down. “Do you have a handkerchief or a piece of cloth I can use?” I asked. He produced a white handkerchief and I laid it out on my knee, and then set about removing each of the scales. Rather than wrap my hand with the cloth, I carefully wrapped all the scales and slipped it into my pocket.

“Why are you keeping those?” he asked curiously.

“Naiads only give you what you need,” I answered.

“You think you’ll need those?”

“Somehow, I’ll use them.”



I couldn’t even manage to keep Collectors from killing me with the magic Denror taught me, so the thought of killing one sent both of us into overdrive. He taught me at least twelve shortcuts on different spells and magics to incapacitate an enemy, but he couldn’t tell me if any of them would work on the dead. However, he did have a dagger which was charmed to work on both the living and the dead.

As I’d never used a real weapon before, Denror taught me from scratch. Apparently this sort of dagger was the kind you held down, and usually against your forearm. By the end of the day I had a bandaged hand and plenty of scrapes, and my arms and legs were heavy as lead.

When I could no longer lift my arms, Denror made me practice the magic incantations over and over again, starting with the basic maiming spell all the way up to the most complicated, eight-line incantation, until I could pronounce at least half of the words.

I dragged myself to bed with dwarfish words spinning around in my head. I fell asleep almost instantly, and was woken up almost as quickly. Apparently it was sunrise and I had to go outside and sit in the snow and repeat the incantations until he’d come to get me for breakfast.

I only ended up spending about half of the time practicing the spells. The other half of the time I was sitting there with a wooden needle I made and three threads from my shirt, working with Narisza’s scales. I would make a knot, work the needle through the tough scale, and then tie another knot. Then I’d repeat the process. I only got four of them on by the time I heard Denror coming up the tunnel.

Instantly I pretended to be practicing, hiding the string and scales back in the cloth in my pocket.

Denror told me to sit up straighter, and always to focus on my hands as I did the magic. According to Denror, the most effective way to use this spells was to focus on either the hands and fingers or the weapon, so that the magic is more focused and has less chance of being dispelled before doing damage.

We went in for breakfast and I finally decided to ask a question that had been on my mind all day. After a few bites of the stew, I asked, “Why’re you helping me?”

He looked up, and I kept quiet about the stew in his thick red beard. “Why does that matter? I’m helping you, which should be enough.”

“In theory it’s enough, but I’m curious. I’ve always heard stories that dwarves didn’t particular like outsiders. You’re one of the only dwarves I’ve ever met, and the other one threatened to kill me if I didn’t leave his home immediately.”

“I’m helping you because I like the fire in your eyes. It reminds me of a girl I once knew. Because I didn’t help her when I had the chance, one of the Orsen attacked and killed her. When I saw that Orsen almost killing you, I knew I couldn’t let history repeat itself. Maybe that’s just my petty guilt talking, but either way I’m helping you.”

After that, no matter what I said, Denror wouldn’t answer me. He told me to go back outside and practice pronunciation and focus, and I did. I didn’t touch the naiad scales this time, I put all my focus into doing the spells right. I ignored the dead wandering through the forest, and they stayed away from me.

I don’t know how long I was doing that before Denror came out to watch me spar with the air. He only spoke to me to correct me, and I felt continually worse about making him share. When I went to bed that night, he said the one thing that made my blood run hot with fear.

“Tomorrow, we’re going to summon a Sammler.”

I had a nightmare when I fell asleep. I dreamed I met one of the Collectors and he killed me. But I didn’t just die. I saw hell through his eyes.

I woke up sweating, holding onto the sheets as tightly as I could. I looked around, half expecting to see a Collector looming in one of the dark corners. Instead all I saw was Denror, laying sprawled and snoring by the hearth, his blanket dangerously close to the flame.

I got up and wrapped the blanket around my shoulders. I knew I should be sleeping, but instead I went through the tunnel and sat at the opening. I sat down on the stone, close enough to see the melting snow in the moonlight, but far enough away that I didn’t get cold.

For a moment, I just stared at the stone and held the blanket tighter around me. Then I got out the handkerchief and pulled a wooden needle from my first finger. By the time I’d finished working with the thin, hard scales, my toes were cold, and I knew sunrise was less than an hour away.

I tied the string around my neck, feeling the slight prickle of all nine scales on my neck, and then headed back for bed. If all went well, tomorrow this would be over. If it didn’t…I had the feeling things would still be over.

The tunnel was only a few dozen yards of twists and turns, and when I reached the end I climbed back on the small bed. I had to pull my knees up towards my chest just to fit, but it wasn’t too bad.
I gave up telling people I hear voices. So now I talk to the voices instead.
  





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Sat Aug 13, 2011 5:20 pm
dolwright says...



This is Good writing! I assume this line," ...they always like to trade. Information for something shiny is a continuous statement so the period sign should be deleted.
The story line is intriguing, i would like to know if the main character was able to kill any of the collectors.
Overall, i enjoyed reading this.
'when I'm gone, my words will remain...
your word is a weapon, either of destruction or re-construction, whatever you make of it,
It's your choice.'
  





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Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:01 pm
Narnialover4ever1 says...



Very good :) I liked it. Nice story line. Good job!

Keep writing!
Narnialover4ever1
When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again'

'Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar. I wonder if she's feeling well.
With a dreamy far off look.
And her nose stuck in a book' Something my best friend, Drew, said about me
  





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Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:16 pm
crescent says...



Hello. This is an interesting piece you have here. I haven't seen many works about dwarves, so congrats on that. Overall, the grammar and writing was decent, but there were some "rough" areas where the wording was a bit awkward. For example: "I fell asleep almost instantly, and was woken up almost as quickly." Personally, the "woken up" phrase really bothered me. I think "was awoken" would adequately substitute the phrase.
I didn't understand what you meant in this sentence: "My arm was underwater up to my elbow, and she seemed satisfied with that. "
Like mentioned before, the story line is very intriguing. I like your creation of the naid species. It reminds me of water faeries/spirits/mermaids. It's also an interesting decision for you to make the mc want to lose her second sight. Keep on writing!

-Crescent

P.S. If you want to/are making this into a novel, you can ask a mod to move it there for you.
Please take care to use good grammar when making a post!

"grammer" 1519 matches on YWS *twitches*

Rydia is the ruler of the world. :(
  








Man is by nature a political animal.
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