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A Vampires Kiss



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28 Reviews



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Points: 1586
Reviews: 28
Sun Dec 18, 2011 7:57 am
92nida says...



Hmmmm... It seems like most of them liked it. Did I?
Well... Okay... I did.
But, honestly. I wouldn't want to lie. I found this a little like every other story that I have read about Vampires. What's so great and why should I like it? But, there is something you have done that is like magic. Apart from all of the love part(Which I don't usually enjoy) and the narration and emotions. It is the atmosphere you have created. I really enjoy good feel when I'm reading. And you weaved an excellent one. You did a good job. You have the potential and you can do much better.. So don't give up!
  





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109 Reviews



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Points: 11052
Reviews: 109
Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:11 am
MysticalBlood says...



aha this is so old though but thanks! I don't like that type of stuff much anymore and my writing style has improved aha.
'This isn't funny Dean, the voice says i'm almost out of minutes!' - Castiel
~ Nothing is true, everything is permitted... Live by the Creed... Be Discreet...
  





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7 Reviews



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Points: 921
Reviews: 7
Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:47 pm
darkestdays97 says...



I really liked this story, being a vampire fan myself, and the detail you put into it. However, more detail should be put into the scene where she is changing from a human to a vampire. Also, I believe the story would be better if you put more information on their background, like Georgiexx said. :) Detail on their appearance would be nice, especially that of Stark's, but it is not necessarily needed.
Keep up the good work! I really liked it :)
"Yes, my friends, you may call me delusional,
I don't know the technical term.
I have sunk into the shadows of my mind,
Never to return.”
  





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39 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 573
Reviews: 39
Sat Jan 28, 2012 12:27 pm
HHemayed says...



Hi there! I love the story. However, I admit it isn't very new. I don't want to discourage you or anything, you're actually really good and writing is about expressing feelings, so well done! :)

There are a few things I've noticed, not serious though.

"Drink damn you. I give you life".
I think it would be better if you said: (I'm giving you life.)
I'm not sure, but I think there's something wrong with it.

I opened my month and let the blood change..
I think you mean mouth.

Keep up the good work. :wink:
To be alive is not to breathe, eat or drink. It's your ability to prove your existence.
  








You cannot understand and disagree.
— P. D. Ouspensky