Young Writers Society

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I liked this.I haven't realy heard Hansel and Gredel before.But this is good I mean great.

I found a few errors while reading..

"desparate" should be "desperate"

In the sentence..
"Sooner or later the witch would realize that were were fooling her about Hansel not getting fat." You wrote "were" twice.

"Oh no! I though. two days." Doesn't make sense. It should probably be "'Oh no!" I thought. Two days." Unless you meant "two days" to be thought as well.

"WHy may have gone hungry for a few days, but somehow we would have survived. " Doesn't make much sense either, and you shouldn't have capitilised the H in why.

"That stove is pretty big, I realized." Should the "that stove is pretty big" not be in speech marks?

"You'll net be leaving this house without me" should be "not".

"Let her cook us this one last meal for us" Sounds a bit odd with two "us". It sounds better as "Let her cook this one last meal for us"

and also..
"circomstances" should be "circumstances"

Thats about it. Most of them are probably just typing errors, but remember to check your work properly before posting.

Are my words without typoes really that forgetable? I was on a library computer and would have been cut-off if I took the time to proof read. I'll fix it now.

I really enjoyed reading this, just your spelling was a little off putting. The context was great though I like the idea.

Reichieru wrote:Are my words without typoes really that forgetable? I was on a library computer and would have been cut-off if I took the time to proof read. I'll fix it now.

I never really thought wat Gretel could of been thinking but by golly that was an intresting way of putting it.