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Heart and Prophecy



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Fri Dec 30, 2011 2:13 am
Cspr says...



So, I offer to the Novel Workshop peeps my monstrosity of a NaNo novel that now is roughly 70,000 words. I assumed that posting it chapter-by-chapter would be idiotic so here I am! In other news, I’m working on reviewing one novel and planning on getting around to another relatively soon. However, I figured if there aren’t many options to review, how can people review enough stories to post their own work?

Now, on with the show.

Heart and Prophecy was something I brainstormed a few weeks before NaNo started. It is full of stuff I probably will shorten or cut later. On the other hand, it somehow is relatively well-written and makes sense so I figured it wouldn’t make your eyes bleed.

Summary:

Heart and Prophecy is about Peter Lyon, a sixteen-year-old American-born Irish Traveller who has managed to end in the foster care system and get far too many hours across from a therapist. Since he was young, he's seen ghosts. He considers himself a median, but that isn't really true. He can't really call ghosts to him. He can ask them to come. He's managed to befriend one--one who has a certain thing for enigmatic comments. Comments such as, "Don't touch ghosts you don't know." Should've been easy to follow. It wasn't. And now he's dealing with the Grim Reaper's biggest fan; the self-proclaimed Lord of Death; overeager fay who seems to think he would make a nice nuclear bomb; ghosts who think he's their savior--when he isn't, he's no hero; and maybe a werewolf. And he's had all of this happen to him right after getting out of the hospital after a lot of surgeries relating to a crushed pelvis and internal injuries caused by a supposed drunk driver ramming into the car he'd been driving. Peter would like to say sometimes his life sucks, because then that would mean his life didn't mostly suck.

Other notes:

I’d rate it as PG-14. Using Nate’s ratings, I’d put it at 16+. It can get a little violent/bloody and there is some swearing/implications/mentions of alcohol and drugs. A lot of characters are already dead or die. Personally, I don’t think it’s so bad. So far there’s nothing graphic--going by my standards. No one so far as been caught drinking alcohol or doing drugs. None of them have ‘done the dirty.’ There’s been maybe five swear words. Admittedly, there’s been a car crash, a 80s-style ghoul attack, and a ghost attack but nothing too exciting. But then I remember my brain is a scary place and I should warn people.

While you can feel free to do chapter-by-chapter reviews if that’s what you want (70k words is a lot), I’d prefer if you at least read through large-ish chunks and told me how you think things are evolving as time goes on. I mean, for example: read chapters one to three and tell me what you think, then when you read chapters ten through thirteen tell me what you’re thinking then in relation to past stuff as well as current stuff (which is obvious, but yeah). I’d really love commentary on characterization, action/pacing, world-building, and your ideas on a possible resolution. I have the end in mind, but not the climax exactly (ideas, but not sure if workable).

Sorry for any inconsistencies like, for example, Kas’s cursing or the formatting. I plan on working a lot on that in my first revision (and all revisions after that).

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rb1 ... faq3M/edit
My SPD senses are tingling.
  





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Wed Jan 04, 2012 7:04 pm
Lumi says...



I'll begin this and take it in stride since it's a bit long, but I wanted to start off by asking about indents. Paragraph indents don't start happening until Chapter 14, by my count, and it makes things a bit wall-of-text-y.

I'll be back later with input (and by later, I mean much later).
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Thu Jan 05, 2012 5:45 pm
xXTheBlackSheepXx says...



Hi, Cspr :) I'd be interested in reading your novel. I've never actually read someone's NaNo before so I think this will be fun.

The only problem is that the link isn't working for me. My home computer hates google for some reason, but I visit the library often so maybe I can download it there through my laptop.

Anyway, whenever I do get to it I'll probably give you my comments through PM if that's alright with you :)
The bad news is we don't have any control.
The good news is we can't make any mistakes.
-Chuck Palahniuk
  





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Sun Jan 08, 2012 7:46 pm
Cspr says...



@Lumi: Yeah, sorry about that. I've been meaning to add them in. I didn't even ponder formatting during NaNo that much. I was like: "Write, write, write--what the heck is going on? Don't know, but it appears to be working. Wait, have I been indenting? Lol, nope." I'll try and work on that when I can for your sake. :) Thanks for checking it out.

@xXBlackSheepXx: Cool! I hope it is. Also, highly unfortunate about the Google thing! I tried to do it in download format but my computer hated the idea and wouldn't allow me to change it to .doc instead of .docx and I'm not savvy enough to figure out why. I could try and find a way to email it to you/something if you'd like. Otherwise, thanks for biting. :)
My SPD senses are tingling.
  





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Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:11 pm
xXTheBlackSheepXx says...



Hey again. I was able to get the file to work at a library, so yay :) I have it downloaded now so I can read it whenever.

Anyways, I'm pretty confident that I can get through the entire novel, in time. The 100+ pages don't intimidate me, plus I have a feeling that this is a good story and I won't want to quit. :P

So I guess I'll let you know when I start leaving comments. Hopefully I can be helpful!
The bad news is we don't have any control.
The good news is we can't make any mistakes.
-Chuck Palahniuk
  





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Sun Feb 03, 2013 4:23 pm
Alpha says...



I'm going for this one! Mind if I downloaded it to my Kindle? I find it easier to take notes as I go and not strain my eyes. :D
Cheers
  








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