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Young Writers Society


The Selection (18+)



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Gender: Male
Points: 165
Reviews: 11
Mon Jul 23, 2018 1:57 pm
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Skywind555 says...



Hi everyone,

I've been working on this story for several years and in the past, I had posted one chapter at a time, but I figured posting everything at once would be better. The old fiction name was 'Lusarth Fauxun' but I've changed it to 'The Selection'

The genres are: Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Mystery, Drama, Tragedy

My writing style changes quite drastically from chapter 49 and on, so for feedback before that I'm mainly looking for feedback on grammar, the dialogue flow, and word choice maybe. I'm not too sure of what kind of feedback to expect. But I do not plan to rewrite large amounts of text since I'm focusing on creating content. I'm willing to make small changes here and there so future readers can enjoy it more. Also if there are more general issues that can help me write better chapters in the future, may be helpful as well.

For chapters 49,50,51 any kind of feedback would be good. It's a fairly new writing style for me so I'm not sure how to make it even better.

The synopsis is meant to be read before reading chapter 1, so I'll put that below:

Roughly two millennia ago, Mana and monsters appeared in the world of Eiruta overnight, forcing all organisms to undergo a selection process; those who could not adapt to the Mana died while the remaining reproduced and lived on. This catastrophic event was recorded in every race living on the continent of Sholoth, a land mass covering half the planet, except the Humans, who seem to harbor a secret. Beyond Sholoth lay the 'Cursed Territory,' where anyone brave enough to venture has never returned...

In a safer part of the world, a young Kai recently turns 11 years old and can finally enroll at the Academy. It has been his life-long dream to become an adventurer, alongside friends, exploring the world and fighting monsters. How could this innocent boy end up abandoning his childhood ambitions and instead end up working for Cascabel, an infamous organization that commits the most atrocious crimes?
Attachments
The Selection.doc
Story doc Chapter 1-51
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here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a treee called life; which grows higher than the soul can home or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
— e.e. cummings