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Young Writers Society


YA/Horror/Urban Fantasy



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Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:22 am
fight4whatisright says...



deleted
Last edited by fight4whatisright on Fri Jul 06, 2018 12:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.
  





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373 Reviews



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Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:30 pm
PrincessInk says...



What is its rating?

Anyway, if you saw in your Google Doc somebody Anonymous did an edit, never mind because I mistakenly added a letter in there.
always daydreaming, always clumsy
  





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32 Reviews



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Points: 997
Reviews: 32
Tue Jul 11, 2017 1:30 pm
fight4whatisright says...



PrincessInk wrote:What is its rating?

Anyway, if you saw in your Google Doc somebody Anonymous did an edit, never mind because I mistakenly added a letter in there.


The first one is probably 13+. No swearing just violence.
The second one is 16+ for swearing and drug use.

Thanks for letting by me know about your accidental edit when I saw it I was really confused haha
  





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Tue Jul 11, 2017 1:53 pm
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PrincessInk says...



Thanks for the answer! I'll start reading this as soon as I can.
always daydreaming, always clumsy
  





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373 Reviews



Gender: Female
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Sat Jul 29, 2017 1:53 pm
PrincessInk says...



Sorry, but I'd like to let you know that I probably can't read your book now (or the near future). I'll try to get to it but it might not be for a while.
always daydreaming, always clumsy
  





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Thu Aug 10, 2017 11:05 pm
PrincessInk says...



Sorry for the triple post but I read chapter one and thought I'd leave a note:

I like Alexis's voice here because it's imbued with her personality. It's quite sassy and teenage (like a YA protagonist?) and I enjoyed some of the similes she used. Prose-wise, other than a few typos you can probably notice after another read-through, I think it's pretty polished, with plenty of strong verbs in both description and action. I also thought that using bulging veins and dialogue to show Russell's anger was a clever move to avoid writing "Russell was irate".

One thing that caught my eye was that (as of right now) Russell and Isabelle and Mum feel...rather 2-D compared to Alexis. The nasty sibling, the abusive father (and abused mother?). I don't need to know right now (or ever), but I think there should be a reason why Isabelle treats Alexis like dirt. Just food for thought, but does this relationship continue from before Russell met Mum? Another thing was that I found it odd that Mum just stepped back when Alexis and Russell confronted each other and Alexis rushed out. I thought that perhaps she'd try to stop Alexis from hurting herself, to plead with Alexis to comply or something like that.

Nice hook at the end ;)

Anyway, I'll be going on later and remember that everything I say is just an opinion from one reader! :D
always daydreaming, always clumsy
  





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Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:35 am
Lumos says...



Hi fight4whatisright! Are you looking for beta readers to get feedback on your novel or are you looking for anything specific?
  





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Thu Feb 08, 2018 2:34 pm
Radrook says...



PrincessInk wrote:What is its rating?

Anyway, if you saw in your Google Doc somebody Anonymous did an edit, never mind because I mistakenly added a letter in there.


Anybody can jump in and mess with anything posted there?
“Defamation; is an act of impiety.”
― Kristian Goldmund Aumann, The Seven Deadly Sins
  








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