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The Mage Chronicles Book One: Blood War



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Tue Nov 10, 2015 2:56 am
ShadowPrincess16 says...



Title: Mage Chronicles Book One: Blood War

Genre: Fantasy/Romance

Synopsis: When Ryder Sullivan gains a powerful Mentor his mother, Head of the Eternal Order, decides to declare war on her son and his Mentor. As the war goes on, Ryder and his mentor Styxx find themselves falling in love with one another. Can their love survive a war? Or are they doomed to fail?
Attachments
Immortal Darkness Book One 2.rtf
(1.34 MiB) Downloaded 126 times
“wanting what you could not have led to misery and madness”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
  





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Thu Nov 12, 2015 11:01 pm
Carlito says...



I'll try to take a look! I don't read a lot of fantasy but I love romance :D

What exactly are you looking for? Would you like big picture edits like thoughts on the plot arc and character arcs and how the story works as a big whole? Would you like medium level edits like general thoughts after each chapter and how I think the chapters work as individual units? Or would you like micro edits like line-by-line nit-picks?
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20 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 408
Reviews: 20
Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:07 am
ShadowPrincess16 says...



Micro edits would be nice because I kind of suck at editing things myself. And thank you! That would be awesome! :)
“wanting what you could not have led to misery and madness”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
  





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Sat Nov 14, 2015 11:09 pm
Carlito says...



Sounds good! It'll take me a little while, but I'll get on it as soon as I can :D
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

Ask a Therapist!
I want to beta read your novel!


Ask me anything. Talk to me about anything. Seriously. My PM box is always open <3
  





User avatar
20 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 408
Reviews: 20
Sun Nov 15, 2015 12:41 am
ShadowPrincess16 says...



Thank you! :)
“wanting what you could not have led to misery and madness”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
  





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1162 Reviews



Gender: Female
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Reviews: 1162
Mon Nov 16, 2015 3:33 pm
Carlito says...



I did the first chapter. Look that over and let me know if my style and critiques work for you. If so, I'll keep on going :)
Attachments
Immortal Darkness Book One.rtf
(571.89 KiB) Downloaded 96 times
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

Ask a Therapist!
I want to beta read your novel!


Ask me anything. Talk to me about anything. Seriously. My PM box is always open <3
  





User avatar
20 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 408
Reviews: 20
Sat Nov 21, 2015 12:57 am
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ShadowPrincess16 says...



That works! I like the way you critiqued it. Thanks! Can't wait for more.
“wanting what you could not have led to misery and madness”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
  





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Gender: Female
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Reviews: 1162
Thu Jul 07, 2016 2:25 am
Carlito says...



LOOK WHAT I FINALLY FINISHED :D

Immortal Darkness Book One.rtf
(1.01 MiB) Downloaded 89 times

I did track changes and added comments on the side. There are also a big overview of my thoughts at the end. Please PM me with any questions/comments/concerns :D
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

Ask a Therapist!
I want to beta read your novel!


Ask me anything. Talk to me about anything. Seriously. My PM box is always open <3
  





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20 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 408
Reviews: 20
Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:41 am
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ShadowPrincess16 says...



Oh my Goodness! Thank you so much! :) (I've been really busy otherwise I would have seen this a LOT sooner, obviously.)
“wanting what you could not have led to misery and madness”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
  





User avatar
1162 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 32055
Reviews: 1162
Tue Jul 26, 2016 6:05 pm
Carlito says...



You're very welcome! Good luck with the edits and let me know if you need anything else! :D
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

Ask a Therapist!
I want to beta read your novel!


Ask me anything. Talk to me about anything. Seriously. My PM box is always open <3
  








The reason a boat sinks isn't the water around it. It sinks when water gets into it. Don't let what's happening around you weigh you down.
— dalisay