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Asexuality



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Tue Jan 06, 2015 1:40 pm
kingofeli says...



Defined as "the lack of sexual attraction", whether asexuality exists or not is debated by a lot of people. I myself am asexual, so there may be bias here, but I want to see what you guys think.

Do you think it's possible to be asexual? Why/why not?
Feel free to just randomly message me, I get bored easily.

I'm a black, non-binary transgender boy, who is a Christian witch (tentative for now). I'm also a panromantic asexual. I sell poetry; contact me if you're interested in buying poems from me.




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Tue Jan 06, 2015 1:46 pm
Transporter23 says...



If there is going to be a bias, what's the point in debating. Please close this thread.




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Tue Jan 06, 2015 2:42 pm
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crossroads says...



Threads in SD&D are open for all members to participate, and whether or not its creator has an opinion, and what that opinion is, is irrelevant. In fact, seeing as the creator most definitely has the right to participate in the debate themselves, having an opinion on the matter is a pretty good thing, be it personal experience or not.
On the other hand, while at it, if a person manages to be biased in some way that would harm the discussion, and still able to discuss the matter without harming it, that's a pretty good quality to have.


On topic, of course it's possible. My biggest problem is that most people who have never experienced it treat it as either a bad thing to joke about or as a phase that "will pass when you meet the right person".
• previously ChildOfNowhere
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literary fantasy with a fairytale flavour




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Tue Jan 06, 2015 4:29 pm
kingofeli says...



AriaAdams wrote:
On topic, of course it's possible. My biggest problem is that most people who have never experienced it treat it as either a bad thing to joke about or as a phase that "will pass when you meet the right person".


I can't tell you how many times I've heard that, it's actually really annoying >.<
Feel free to just randomly message me, I get bored easily.

I'm a black, non-binary transgender boy, who is a Christian witch (tentative for now). I'm also a panromantic asexual. I sell poetry; contact me if you're interested in buying poems from me.




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Tue Jan 06, 2015 6:41 pm
Zolen says...



Human sex drives are often based on a range of chemicals and hormones mixed with personal experiences, it would almost be easier to set sexuality on a slider rather then the check marking that people do now, just as there are people obsessed with sex because of these, there are of course going to be people lack any sort of interest in the subject.
Self quoting is the key to sounding wise and all knowing.




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Tue Jan 06, 2015 7:50 pm
kingofeli says...



Zolen wrote:Human sex drives are often based on a range of chemicals and hormones mixed with personal experiences, it would almost be easier to set sexuality on a slider rather then the check marking that people do now, just as there are people obsessed with sex because of these, there are of course going to be people lack any sort of interest in the subject.


Well, this isn't so much about sex drive rather than sexual attraction, which usually doesn't change. My sex drive changes all the time, but I've never been sexually attracted to anyone.
Feel free to just randomly message me, I get bored easily.

I'm a black, non-binary transgender boy, who is a Christian witch (tentative for now). I'm also a panromantic asexual. I sell poetry; contact me if you're interested in buying poems from me.




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Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:46 am
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TheWritersStop says...



I think it is possible to be asexual, and there are people like that out there. Sometimes though it's hard to tell at what point someone is actually asexual, literally liking nobody, as opposed to just simply having no real urge to have any sexual experiences, but still having an orientation, but it's more frequently the latter from what I've seen. One of my friends for a while tried to will himself to be asexual to make things easier on himself emotionally. One female friend I have used to claim to be asexual, but I think she just didn't really have a crush on anyone at the time. Myself, I'm not actively searching to date anyone and it feels great so I can understand them. I love women, but I don't want or need sex right now, so for me it's both practicing abstinence and keeping things simple.

I don't see why people would make fun of those who aren't attracted to anyone. The way I see it, it makes their lives emotionally simpler since their won't be any dating drama or feelings that can drive them crazy, so in a weird sense they are somewhat lucky. That's part of why I just don't bother hardly ever searching for a date.

Kingofeli, I am confused by the wording of what you said. Your sex drive changes all the time, but you're not attracted to anyone. How are those two sentences compatible? Also, do you have crushes on people at all? You're in a relationship yet say you have no attraction, so how does it work? Is it just based on your partner being the best friend you'll ever have? I'm just curious, all ears, only explain what you're comfortable with, I hope that wasn't too many questions.




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Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:52 am
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crossroads says...



Uh. There can be plenty of feelings, drama, love and dating in asexual relationships. Asexual people aren't interested in having sex - they do not lack emotions and they are not incapable of having romantic feelings towards another person or people.
• previously ChildOfNowhere
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literary fantasy with a fairytale flavour




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Wed Jan 07, 2015 1:25 am
Zolen says...



kingofeli wrote:
Zolen wrote:Human sex drives are often based on a range of chemicals and hormones mixed with personal experiences, it would almost be easier to set sexuality on a slider rather then the check marking that people do now, just as there are people obsessed with sex because of these, there are of course going to be people lack any sort of interest in the subject.


Well, this isn't so much about sex drive rather than sexual attraction, which usually doesn't change. My sex drive changes all the time, but I've never been sexually attracted to anyone.


error in my phasing.
Self quoting is the key to sounding wise and all knowing.




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Wed Jan 07, 2015 1:43 am
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CowLogic says...



Uh. There can be plenty of feelings, drama, love and dating in asexual relationships. Asexual people aren't interested in having sex - they do not lack emotions and they are not incapable of having romantic feelings towards another person or people.

If I were Siggy Freud, I would say "hogwash." Fortunately, I'm not and I say "Good point, Alia."
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Wed Jan 07, 2015 4:28 am
kingofeli says...



TheWritersStop wrote:I think it is possible to be asexual, and there are people like that out there. Sometimes though it's hard to tell at what point someone is actually asexual, literally liking nobody, as opposed to just simply having no real urge to have any sexual experiences, but still having an orientation, but it's more frequently the latter from what I've seen. One of my friends for a while tried to will himself to be asexual to make things easier on himself emotionally. One female friend I have used to claim to be asexual, but I think she just didn't really have a crush on anyone at the time. Myself, I'm not actively searching to date anyone and it feels great so I can understand them. I love women, but I don't want or need sex right now, so for me it's both practicing abstinence and keeping things simple.

I don't see why people would make fun of those who aren't attracted to anyone. The way I see it, it makes their lives emotionally simpler since their won't be any dating drama or feelings that can drive them crazy, so in a weird sense they are somewhat lucky. That's part of why I just don't bother hardly ever searching for a date.

Kingofeli, I am confused by the wording of what you said. Your sex drive changes all the time, but you're not attracted to anyone. How are those two sentences compatible? Also, do you have crushes on people at all? You're in a relationship yet say you have no attraction, so how does it work? Is it just based on your partner being the best friend you'll ever have? I'm just curious, all ears, only explain what you're comfortable with, I hope that wasn't too many questions.


Alright, you've got asexuality and aromantic mixed up. I'm asexual, which means I have no sexual attraction. You cannot will yourself to be asexual. You can be abstinent, but that's not being asexual. I'm not sexually attracted to my boyfriend, but I am physically and emotionally attracted to him. Sex drive is the want or need for sex/sexual contact, which anyone, asexual or not, can have. I have a crazy high sex drive sometimes, and other times I don't. That doesn't change me not having sexual attraction, i.e. being asexual. Got it now?


@TheWritersStop
Feel free to just randomly message me, I get bored easily.

I'm a black, non-binary transgender boy, who is a Christian witch (tentative for now). I'm also a panromantic asexual. I sell poetry; contact me if you're interested in buying poems from me.







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