z

Young Writers Society


Enslaved to Duty



User avatar
152 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 3965
Reviews: 152
Mon May 28, 2012 5:44 pm
View Likes
Rubric says...



Hey.

A few of you will know me from the debating forum, most of you won't. I've been a long time lurker on the site, but haven't found time to post a whole heap in the last couple of years.

My writing's been on the back burner for my honours year (in english literature), but now I'm finished and ready to jump back on the horse. If that wasn't a folk metaphor, it is now.

I just posted the first two scenes of a project that I've been planning for ages but haven't found the time to put to paper. I'm going to be writing the scenes in 500-700 word blocks and posting them up with minimal editing. I've been planning it for too long and I don't want to get caught up double checking myself.

So what's the project?

I've read fantasy for about 15 years and been trying to write it for about 7. I've recently been studying the pointy end of literary academia, and I'm wondering whether I can write a story that's both accessible and meaningful. One that can be enjoyed by both teens and adults, and contain scenes that appeal to the dreamers and the armchair academics alike. I know it can be done: if it couldn't, I wouldn't be a fan of the genre. But this is also a test of my writing style. My style is descriptive, but also dense, which is why I've limited the size of the scenes.

I'm interested in loyalty: the loyalty that is shown in how a master treats his slave, and how a lord treats his vassal. Are men pawns to be moved around for entertainment, for the greater good, or only their own benefit? I'm also interested in justice: what can be forgiven, tolerated and excused for the sake of a cause, and what must be avenged for its own sake, damn the cost.

There will we knights and battles, schools and slaughter. There will be love and betrayal, politics and warlocks. Demons and druids will stalk the shadowy forests, but what if the real monsters have lived all their lives in the light of day?

If this sounds interesting, come join Arvid, as he begins his journey in the Plains of Ulusami, a hundred miles south of the forested duchies that will be the focus of his and our adventure.

My tasks for you, my loyal reader, are to test the standard I set here against the drivel I post on the forum. Are my themes borne out? Is my writing getting in the way of my ideas, or are the ideas getting in the way of a kick-ass mage battle.

Scene 1 is here: work.php?id=95584
So you're going to kill a god. Sure. But what happens next?

Diary of a Deicide, Part One.


Got YWS?
  





User avatar
152 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 3965
Reviews: 152
Wed May 30, 2012 4:36 am
Rubric says...



I've powered through the first four scenes and am pretty fine with how they look as a first draft. I'm incredibly thankful for the feedback I've gotten so far: it's been both incredibly useful and fairly uplifting.

I only realised when I sat down to write it how little of my world-building for the plains had actually been done. It's going to become apparent in the next few scenes that the core plot of this story may not take place in the Ulusami. I don't think that excuses just how scant I've been with details, particularly about Arvad's personal history and his family culture; that may be developed through flashback or in-text contrasts.

The plot's going to shift gears a little in the next few scenes, and I'm a little concerned by how the reader might take it. I've been a little lax on Arvad's characterisation, and when push comes to shove, that's probably the most important thing in the story at this point. Without giving away major plot points, these scenes need to portray where Arvad comes from, and the influences that affect his choices later in life, when he's in a position to excercise a little more freedom. When I get to the end of about the sixth scene, that should be the end of what is essentially Arvad's prologue, and he'll begin to interract more meaningfully with the movers and shakers of the plot.

I'm enjoying the break up of the chapters into scenes. There's a bit of dijunction between them, and a more developed second draft will probably smooth over those gaps, but it allows me to move fairly quickly through the plot. I'm not really interested in going back to edit the scenes as I go: the incredibly helpful advice will be integrated on a second draft, and will definitely be influencing my writing choices as I develop new scenes for this draft. My first goal is to get the words down, which is why I'm currently focussing on quantity over quality.

Biggest screw up so far: misspelling the main character's name throughout Scene 2. My bad.
So you're going to kill a god. Sure. But what happens next?

Diary of a Deicide, Part One.


Got YWS?
  








It is a happiness to wonder; it is a happiness to dream.
— Edgar Allan Poe