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Sun Apr 15, 2012 10:32 pm
Ikerot says...



[This might be a tad long] I'm also not finish with it, lol


Introduction


Will you believe me when I tell you that colors aren’t just use for fashion? No, it’s something more than that. In the future, humans have developed this thing called, “Colrite.” It first started off as a drug that gave us the ability to see… colors. And somehow, because we gotten a bit too deep on the drugs, we began having newborns with a natural Colrite. Colors are used for many things, and they’re especially good for cops and detectives. Ones who do not have the Colrite ability, well, those people are basically scrapping the bottom of the barrels here. Seeing colors can make the world so much more detailed, so much more clearly. Heh, for the natural born… ones who have to take the drugs are just junkies living in the dumps. People with Colrites don’t have a name, they’re human still, and the ones without Colrites, they’re human also. But sooner or later, all of them will be part of the Colrite evolution…

Colors and Their Powers


Colors… they’re not just… colors. They show you your rating. It’s like a rank, almost. Or to make it better, it’s like a scale of good and evil. To start out, red was the worse while blue was best. The color changes whenever you make a choice. It could be based off of your sanity, maybe your overall intention, anything that would trigger the alteration. This is the basic scale of it:

o Blue – These are the ones that are usually on cops and all those types of heroes and heroines. They’re the people who is always on the right track, people who wants to have a “better future.” Another one is from children, whose minds are so simple that they do not understand the difference between good and evil.

o Green – Degraded from blue, these people have once thought of something that could hurt themselves or others, either physically or mentally. They haven’t done the action yet and at this state, they would be able to change back to blue.

o Yellow – This is the turning point on the scale of good and evil. Once a person reaches yellow, they will be on the watch list. They will only turn yellow when they have actually committed the idea inside their head.

o Orange – The color mixes in when their state of mind gets worse as they are driven to ruin themselves or others. Most people in the orange color are often ones who have done a crime where it has put them in jail.

o Purple – The point before turning in your soul. Purple is an easy spot to be taken to. Even if that person is blue, once he has killed someone with the intention to, he will be mixed and his color will become purple. Anybody in this state are generally killers. Executors are just like soldiers, murderers with a license to kill. They are able to walk around the streets with their colors as long as they have their valid ID. This tends to cause much of a racket toward the citizens. The government, in order to calm down the people, made a law where anyone in the government with the color must have a tracking chip installed.

o Red – The worse state of all. There are rarely reds to be seen for most are stopped at purple before they reach into this state. But ones who are on red are considered to be extremely dangerous and will show no mercy for they have killed so many that the blood have tainted their color.

o Black – Only the dead show this color.

o White – Natural born Colrites first starts off as white. This color resembles a neutral spot that will stick to the children until they reach the age where they are able to walk, talk, and that’s when they change to (most of the time) blue.

o Nothing – This is people who are born aren’t born with Colrite or they haven’t taken the drug yet. They are often treated poorly.

Now, you might not know this yet, but we can hide our colors. The obvious way to show others our color is to activate the Colrite within us and that turns our eyes to the color that we are in. We can’t figure out each other colors unless we show each other it. However… colors aren’t just about the ranks and all that. The Colrite… they give us powers. Powers that we never thought we could have. Powers that we never thought we could control.

o The universal power that everyone with Colrite have is that we’re able to see the trails of movement. This means that we’re able to see a person’s action before they intend to do it. Then there's the trail of action, this is the color tail that follows the movement, it helps us calculate the landing point.

o Blue makes the trails of movement a lot stronger and even the ability to slow down time for a few seconds. Kids can’t do it, even if they’re blue, for they do not know how to control the power just yet. They are able see through other people’s color when they activate their power, even if the people are hiding it. However, they are unable to see reds, making them paranoid about normal humans who have no color.

o [To be added for other colors]

o Red gives the person the aptitude to see the outlines of somebody else through walls, they’re trails of movement is a lot stronger than blue. But when they are in this state, all they see is red for everyone is an enemy. This is a weakness for they are unable to decide who is a foe or friend, keeping their paranoia on the rise. However, others can’t see their colors unless they activate it.


Colrite only react to human blood because it's the only sucessful subject during experiments. So when a Colrite user kills an animal, it wouldn't affect their colors.

Setting


Spoiler! :
In a place far from the distant but not too close to the future, the world has been over flooded by the sea. In order to survive, humans have created floating, on water, and underwater cities out of every materials they had. The one that takes place in the story is a city called Rome. It had three sections: The Cloud District, the Mountain District, and the Ground Districts. The C District is where the wealthy lived, the M District was the moderate, and the G District--also known as the Slums--was where all the violence and power-hungry gangs lived. Although the people are the G and C District barely knew about the Slums, they lived on with their normal and elegant lives while the Slums tear itself apart with the non-stop wars. The city it self was placed like a cake, the Sky was on top, Mountain in the middle, and the Slums takes the bottom of the dirt.
There are cables that connects all of the District together and with the right mind, it can be use as an express elevator.

I probably won't use this setting. I might use it for another time.



Main Characters


Spoiler! :
Alvart Hart (Red): Born on Christmas day, Alvart was a child of red from the start. Her family had an old war soldier who had used the method of animal instinct to help him survive in the third Great War. To her great-grandfather, it was a method, but in reality, it was just the beast controlling. What would happen was that if blood splattered on his skin, his instinct will turn red and everything will black out. The next thing he knew, there was a bloodbath and he was right in the middle of it, he had feed his hunger for now. This “method,” he called it Bloodlust. And because no one in the family wanted to inherit his gift, the man decided to take it upon himself and kidnapped the first born of the new generation. Then, he would bestow his gift. However, this gift needed the girl to be trained first. She was locked up and was fed every two weeks to keep her from dying. Eating was no problem, but getting to the food was another thing. Not only her great-grandfather would give her the food, he would make her fight for it. Her opponents were usually hungry mammals that wanted the food also. At first, she didn’t want to, although sooner or later, the instinct took over her. Alvart learned the Bloodlust ability at the age of seven when she ripped the head off of a grown male Bengal tiger. She became red after slaughtering her grandfather and all of his servants one day when they accidentally splattered blood on her skin. Although she is now a beast, she is always a lady at heart. Her current age is 18.

Sapphire Dasha (Yellow, later Orange): She is the caretaker of Alvart when she first met Alvart while she was on her little crime spree. Dasha is one of the only person (rather than Eira and Alvart’s father) who knows about Alvart’s Bloodlust. Dasha hasn’t exactly killed anybody, but she has taken things without permission many times. So, she was a kleptomaniac. To her, there wasn’t anything she couldn’t steal, this included Alvart’s heart (which Dasha didn’t even notice that her sneaky hands stole). She used a wrench as a weapon for it was something most people didn’t use anymore these days. Dasha enjoyed looking at objects of the past since she thought that it was a bad idea to throw away the past just because the future looked better. And although rarely, when Alvart went into her Bloodlust mode, Dasha would be the only person to stop her from her bloody rampage. These attempts at stopping Alvart would end up almost killing Dasha. Her current age is 17.

Matthew Parker (Blue, later on Purple): He is part of the special force of the swat. He would be called up whenever the situation gets a bit too close and they would need someone for a close-ranged battle. Matthew would be the man to be on the job for he has excelled many others in his supreme control of the Colrite. His color is blue, but it would change when he gets involved with the Hart family. His current age is 25. [Add more]

Eira Dwuiyn (Yellow, later Orange): He is Dasha’s partner in crime. He is the mind behind the action and he is the one who taught Dasha the skill of a thief. Their first actual crime together was actually at school where they snuck in at night to steal something that has been stolen. They used to do it for fun, but now Eira and Dasha would do it to make fun of the cops. He has the same problem as Dasha, he was also a kleptomaniac. Eira is the person who would have all the gadgets. He knows about Alvert and how she was in love with Dasha. He even knows about how Alvert was so much in love, she’s obsessed and she would do anything that Dasha asked of her. Like a puppy. Although he never told Dasha about it, he just sat back and laughed. Well, until he was stuck in a room with Alvert while she was still in her Bloodlust mode. His current age is 17. [Add more]

[Might change the whole thing about “Oh, Dasha is such a thickhead that she doesn’t know that Alvert is in love with her and oh herp derp” - I don't like it very much]


---

Would you laugh if I told you I got the whole color idea from Gatorade commercials and their colorful sweats?

Somebody told me that this has a lot of problems with ethnics... but I don't know what he's talking about. I'm just a child, still learning about the world :c
So I would actually like a question about this... ethnic ._. am I spelling it right?
Last edited by Ikerot on Tue Apr 17, 2012 6:08 pm, edited 5 times in total.
"Good begins with evil, and evil is here to stay." - From The Sovereign
  





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Mon Apr 16, 2012 4:33 pm
Ikerot says...



*sniff*
I'm just a lonely child, begging for some feedbacks ;c
"Good begins with evil, and evil is here to stay." - From The Sovereign
  





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Tue Apr 17, 2012 1:38 am
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Rosendorn says...



You only posted this a day ago, Ike. xD Posts of this length can take awhile to be answered.

That being said, I had read this yesterday (a bit late) and had planned on answering...

My one thing about this is who defines "good" and "bad"? I assume the death penalty exists, because the reds need to be "removed", yet wouldn't that turn anybody who brings out the death penalty purple automatically?

You have a lot of room to explore morality and what makes truly good and evil— but that could be me and my dislike of seeing things in pure black of pure white at first glance. It is only after any sort of examining of the morals that you can determine black and white, and, even then, only determine it for one viewpoint (the other side will almost always see it in reverse).

Those are just my two cents. I find it interesting your MC is red, but any sort of character setup is lost without the mechanics in place well.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:02 am
Ikerot says...



I noticed right after I posted that second comment xD
How stupid :L
*back from an hour of cleaning Fred's tank*
Wait, it was a day ago? Holy crap! I thought I posted it today D: I have some bad memories =3=

To answer your first question (because the second one I find hard to understand): Literature understanding--The Colrite (drug) and the human mind; Literally--Me and my mind.

Now for your second question... what? Yeah, reds need to me removed, then about the whole purple thing, I find myself hard understanding that.

My mind is closed when it comes to morality at the moment. I was trying to get this so that I could open my mind more. To be honest, the only colors that I used that has special meaning was: Red, Black, Blue, and White. The other rest, I tried to make it go down the line of Red and Blue (I think I only 'tried' on the purple).
"Good begins with evil, and evil is here to stay." - From The Sovereign
  





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Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:11 am
Rosendorn says...



For me, "removal of a person"= execution. And your original post states:

Even if that person is blue, once he has killed someone with the intention to, he will be mixed and his color will become purple.


If you execute somebody, then you have killed with the intention to do so. So to get rid of the reds, you are creating more of what you're trying to remove: killers.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:15 am
Ikerot says...



Ah, I understand now. 8D
Now I need to change that. I wrote this idea months ago and haven't revise it since.


**I think I made it worse LOL
"Good begins with evil, and evil is here to stay." - From The Sovereign
  








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