Young Writers Society

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible without spitting around the general idea, since of course, it is late and nobody likes reading a block of text. (And yet in the end, it turned out to be one anyways...)

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Anyways, the year is 2130 and the Gaming Industry has advanced beyond comprehension. Players are now able to completely immerse themselves into their games via a chair of sorts (Maybe not a chair?... I was thinking Matrix-Esq.) which completely immerses the Player's senses into the game.

The company that produces the Immersion Chairs and the games that go with it took on the title of, Hyperion Industries. Releasing their newest gaming title a futuristic-shooter known as Legionnaire(Which releases a new ground-breaking engine which allows players to feel nearly everything in detail), Hyperion Industries has skyrocketed to the top of the Stock Market. Holding trillions of million worldwide, Hyperion Industries has become the Microsoft of the Future.

Now of course, with immersing a human's entire sensory system and brainwaves into a digitally controlled atmosphere can be dangerous. Which is, of course, why they have recruited special Beta testers. And who better to test out a Futuristic Shooter than those who play them the most? Teenage Boys.

Which finally, brings us to our main character. Anthony Heinz (Ketchup Brand?) who is a unimpressive High School attendee who suffers from depression and the many family issues he experiences. Also with the occasional crush and social awkwardness. To escape from these daily pains, Anthony has focused intensly into Gaming.

Getting his hands on one of the first Beta copies of Legionnaire, Anthony jumps in one school night. But every Beta has a glitch, right? Anthony finds himself locked into the game, unable to escape. He can't disengage from the game. And for some reason, it feels so real.

On the outside of the Game, the case of Anthony Heinz has become a World-Wide media explosion. Everyone around the world is watching the 24 hour Live-Stream and Hyperion Industries is trying their best to work out the problem. Even though it's the best media they've received in years and sales are blowing through the roof because of it.

To keep the tension around the world up, the President of Hyperion Industries has sent a series of Professional Gamers to assist Anthony throughout his journey. Although, on the side, the President has set a very steep bounty on his head to encourage other players to eliminate Anthony.

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Other Thing I should mention WITHOUT the walls of Text: (Obvious or not?)
-Anthony, experiencing a glitch, cannot simply come back to life like other players. If he dies, it's game over. Literally.
-Other Players, however, can die as many times as they want as they do not experience the Glitch.
-Do I have Love Interests somewhere in the story? Oh yes, many, many.


Any Suggestions, Questions, Comments, or Smart Remarks?

The plot and the main character sounds good. Interesting enough, I think.
But I do have two questions;
First, why can't Anthony escape, while the others can? Okay, I know that it's sort of the mystery in the book, but, how could he die in a game when others don't? And why is he locked in the thing? Was there some kind of evil conspiracy to lock him?
Second, why does the president want to kill Anthony? Won't he be more likely to head to prison if one of his games killed a guy off?
Anyway, I mainly like it.

You might be interested in Sword Art Online. It's a light novel with a similar premise and some other similarities (like in-game death = real life death), so you might be able to glean some ideas/perspective on things to avoid/emulate.