I'm writing my first fiction/fantasy story, and I'm wondering if you'd read the plot, and tell me if I'm too scattered or if it makes sense?
Fifteen years ago, the world's only superpower, Condrasia (Con-drah-zhee-ah), was a huge continent which lived at peace. It was ruled by a monarchy, and king and queen which were the only sorcerers in the world. The rest of Condrasia was inhabited by normal, albeit naive, citizens who went about their daily lives free of oppression.
When Condrasia believed that it had rights to three tiny islands off the coast of its territory, it was taken down by its jealous neighbor, Pframtore (Fram-tora), which believed those tiny islands to be apart of the Isles, holy islands that dot the northern parts of the ocean. Pframtore was a much smaller continent made up of physically strong citizens, who specialize in the creation of firearms. Like the Spartans who attacked Athens after the rise of the the sophists, Condrasia was all but demolished, the royal family killed, and a new government instated.
The prince, born moments before Pframtore soldiers infiltrated the birthing room, brutally murdering his mother, was named Landon and blessed by the fatally wounded priest with liquid philosopher's stone, granting him the power of sorcery. A young priestess girl, who had gone unseen by the soldiers, ran with the baby to the docks, where they boarded a ship and were brought to the Territory.
Landon grew up among the orphans of slain Condrasian parents. Present day, the priestess finds him again after living on her own surrounded by nature. She tells him of his past, and that there are Pframtore spies looking for him after a dying soldier confessed to his government that he had allowed the baby to escape. She explains to him of his powers, and he escapes, the spies hot on his tracks, to Chochor (Core-chore), a small continent split into five states: fire-manipulators, earth-manipulators, light and dark-manipulators, air-manipulators, and water-manipulators.
The world hates Chorchor. The people, being products of failed Alchemical experiments, are feared and despised for their intense, genetic powers of elemental manipulation. There, he finds many people willing to help him regain his throne. They all themselves were outcasted from Roision (Roy-shun), the last continent in the world, filled with Alchemists.
Landon must gather together a band of angered and oppressed people who are willing to help him change the world back to the way it used to be.
Landon is a quiet, calculating young boy. He's harsh towards others, except for Drew, the first friend he made when he was twelve. Landon likes to read, and is well-informed on current events. He's not a people's-person, but as the story goes on he will open up a little more. He has one friend, Drew, an outgoing skirt-chaser who wants nothing more than to get off the Territory and see the world. He's street-smart, regardless of living in the same environment as Landon- a tiny seaside town forgotten by the rest of the world.
Along the way, the two boys meet mystics in the Water state, which explain their destinies. They meet the Torches, the young gang members in the Fire state which are already fighting for political change. He makes friends with the Day Keepers in the Light-Dark state, which grow to love him and become powerful allies. He meets the political powers in the Earth state, and then he meets the hippies in the Air state which don't agree with his aspirations.
Landon and his allies must go up against the political powers of Pframtore, along with its strong military.
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