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Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:51 pm
Satan says...



For a psychological thriller idea I've been working on-

During a presidential election, there is a woman running for president who has sworn to ban gay marriage, put a stop to hormone treatments for transfolk, and generally make it impossible for anyone who isn't a heterosexual couple to adopt, join the army, marry, etc.
This is set sometime in the future, and the world's view of these matters are somewhat warped, and the woman is gathering a vast amount of support.
She also has a one year old son.
And so the twins come into play.
The twins are the sons of a deceased billionaire, and they have a vast network of resources and money after inheriting their father's fortune. They're also gay.
They devise a plan to, first of all, cripple the woman, and her presidential campaign.
They kidnap her son.

Now these twins aren't exactly, ermm, right in the head. And after they kidnap the kid, they take him to a small island they own, uninhabited besides animals and them. They then raise the child to think he is a girl, and that they're girls, as well. They also invent a new language, just for them to speak, and a fake history for the island, and they write books for him to read, and songs for him to sing. And, well, you get the idea.

Fast forward twenty-something years, the kid's all grown up, and still living on the island. One day, a couple washes up on shore. They try to speak to the kid, but of course he can't speak english, so everyone just ends up confused. Then come the twins, and they shoot the couple.
The kid basically loses it, and gets super pissed and upset at the twins, because he wanted to be friends with the couple. They try to apologize, saying that they wanted to hurt him, but the kid doesn't believe it. So he comes up with a plan to escape.
He builds a boat, or rather, his version of a boat seeing as in his world, boats don't exist, and he sets off from the island.
The twins go after him in an actual boat, the one they used to sail to the island, and the chase is on.
This goes on for a while, various chase-y things happen, and the twins and the kid eventually end up on a different island, one of Hawaii's smaller islands to be exact. They battle it out, and eventually, the kid kills them.

A few local villagers find him, and when they have trouble communicating with him, a group of them set off for the big island.
Eventually, the kid is identified as the politician woman's son, and they reunite and stuff.
She tries to convince him he's really a boy, but he's been so influenced by the twins that he doesn't believe it, and continues to go around as a girl. The politician woman is, of course, frustrated by this, since she's a transphobe, and after several months, the kid has been taught english and, y'know, how to fit into society, when he meets a boy and they start dating. The politician woman then has had enough, and disowns him.
Distraught, the kid runs away to try and find the island again.
He succeeds, and when he gets there,
there are two figures standing there.
Waiting for him.

~*~wheee twist endings~*~

Opinions?
Last edited by Satan on Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
frickdamn, son.
  





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Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:22 am
Stellabeam says...



It sounds like you have a great story in formed right now, I'm really interested. First off (and this is more confused to my poor overworked brain) Is this a critique on how people are anti-homosexual nowdays? Or is it just a story?

Some other questions arose while I was reading. If the boy thought he was a girl in the story, then when he got to mainland who/what did he think the real girls where? If he was a guy-girl then wouldn't he realized after time that all the other "girls"(the real guys) didn't think they were girls too and would wonder if something was wrong with his upbringing? Did the twins really just kidnap the boy to raise them their own way or was it to piss off the lady president?

Other than my never ending questions the story sounds like something I'd love to read/edit/review.
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Wed Apr 04, 2012 5:13 am
Ikerot says...



Wow, this story is really homo-ish isn't it? I LIKE IT! xD
It's really unique to read homosexual-like stories with a plot like this. I would actually read this if it was written out. Although there's something that's bothering me:

1. So he thinks that he killed the twins, but somehow, they're still alive, how is that?
2. What's wrong with the twins that made them wrong in the head?
3. Since the twins are gay... are they uhh... *cough*incest*cough*

xD
I find it pretty funny that the boy thinks that he's a girl. So... has he been wearing girly stuff since he was one? Because that's pretty hilarious.
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Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:33 pm
Satan says...



First off (and this is more confused to my poor overworked brain) Is this a critique on how people are anti-homosexual nowdays? Or is it just a story?


More just a story, though it would obviously touch on those subjects a lot.

If the boy thought he was a girl in the story, then when he got to mainland who/what did he think the real girls where? If he was a guy-girl then wouldn't he realized after time that all the other "girls"(the real guys) didn't think they were girls too and would wonder if something was wrong with his upbringing?


Well the thing is, until he met the couple that washed up on shore, he had never really seen a guy before. And the twins didn't really teach him about, hrrm, biology, so he just thought that all people, men and women, had penises, and that gender was just gender roles, nothing physical.
So when he gets to the mainland, he just sees different gender roles. People who dress in pants and act manly, are guys. People who dress in dresses and act girly, girls.

Did the twins really just kidnap the boy to raise them their own way or was it to piss off the lady president?


They did it for many reasons. To piss off the woman, yes, and to break her, you know, emotionally. And they saw it as an experiment, really. A chance to prove to the world, or rather themselves, that gender is just gender roles, (which it obviously is not, but like I mentioned, they're not right in the head).

1. So he thinks that he killed the twins, but somehow, they're still alive, how is that?


It isn't really the twins.
The memory of them still haunts him, even after he kills them. A lot of things happen on the island, during his upbringing, that I wouldn't completely touch on during the story, but it would be...implied. The twins aren't sane, and not the best suited parents (obviously), and the kid really does end up traumatized.
But when he goes back to the island, he associates that with the twins, and ends up seeing them. He sees them before, too. On the mainland, in crowds, on his way back to the island, he thinks he sees them in their boat, chasing them.
It's kind of like in the Stephen King novel, Misery, when Paul thinks he sees Annie everywhere.

2. What's wrong with the twins that made them wrong in the head?


I haven't completely decided on that, to be honest. Probably just a myriad of psychological disorders.

3. Since the twins are gay... are they uhh... *cough*incest*cough*


Haha, you know, that's actually the first question people usually ask me whenever I tell them about it.
No, they aren't...together.
But there's a theory, since homosexuality supposedly has something to do with hormone imbalances in the womb and such, that is one twin is gay, the other twin is most likely to be gay, too. So I thought that would be cool to incorporate.

Thank you both for your thoughts and questions!
frickdamn, son.
  





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Wed Apr 11, 2012 6:04 pm
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Tenyo says...



Odd XD

It's a psycho-thriller, but maybe fantasy would also be a catagory to incorperate.

Women are significantly less likely to be homophobic than men, so why is this woman a homophobe? And how did she get into presidency?

Also consider time and culture settings. Most cultures around the world that would still support anti-gay campaigns tend to be either religious or shovenistic and so wouldn't be so keen to jump on the bandwagon with a female president. Homophobia and feminine supremecy rarely co-incide.

I think you need to put much more thought into the world and characters, apart from them being messed up and warped. Every action has a reaction, so consider activists and terrorists who would try to stop or promote these causes, and what effect they would have on culture and society. We're slowly moving towards global and racial equality, so what is going to destroy that?

Simply saying things are this way because they are messed up or warped won't really work.
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Wed Apr 11, 2012 7:21 pm
Twit says...



Whenever anything has twins in, I always wonder why. Is it for cools, or for something deeper?
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Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:01 pm
Satan says...



It's a psycho-thriller, but maybe fantasy would also be a catagory to incorperate.


I'm a bit confused as to why. Elaborate, perhaps?

Now I'm going to answer your other questions in backwards order, because, well, it's easier to explain that way.

I think you need to put much more thought into the world and characters, apart from them being messed up and warped. Every action has a reaction, so consider activists and terrorists who would try to stop or promote these causes, and what effect they would have on culture and society. We're slowly moving towards global and racial equality, so what is going to destroy that?


To make a long story short, eventually everyone did become super accepting of everyone, enough so that a gay man was elected president o' 'Murrika. Unfortunately, even with acceptance being the common mindset, there were still those kinds of people who wanted to force their opinions down others throats. This man, now the president, being one of them.
The politics of this world have evolved over time, and the president has much more pull than he would have today, and he kind of messes everything up and stuff. He bans heterosexual marriage, takes away a bunch of their rights, and does a whole bunch of other stuff. Eventually, 'Murrika gets sick of this, and starts a revolution of sorts. First of all, they take down the president, and reinstate all the old laws of yesteryear, like gays not being allowed in the military, not being allowed to get married, and generally associate being gay with being the oppresive doucher the president was.
So that's how that got started, and it just went downhill from there.

Also consider time and culture settings. Most cultures around the world that would still support anti-gay campaigns tend to be either religious or shovenistic and so wouldn't be so keen to jump on the bandwagon with a female president. Homophobia and feminine supremecy rarely co-incide.


Well, like mentioned, everyone got super accepting of everyone, and after the gay president, only turned on the gays. They're still all for gender equality, however, because they haven't had a bad experience with that yet.

Women are significantly less likely to be homophobic than men, so why is this woman a homophobe? And how did she get into presidency?


The woman's backstory is actually quite interesting, I think.

She ran for president right after the gay president was overthrown, but before that she was govener of Illinois. During the hetero-hunt that went on during the gay dude's presidency, she was forced to divorce her husband, and was replaced mid-term by one of the gay dude's other gay politician buddies, as were most political folk. She couldn't find any other job, and had to sell her home, and live in a jank apartment.
She wasn't too keen on gay people in the first place, because some people are just like that, but she didn't really mind them that much. But after that, something just clicked in her mind, and she just turned spiteful.
She was actually one of the first to start organizing the revolution to overthrow the presidency at that time.

Simply saying things are this way because they are messed up or warped won't really work.


But there's also this to consider, for one thing everything I just explained above is mostly just backstory that'll only be mentioned a few times, and I'll tell ya why.
From a descriptionary standpoint, and stylistic as well, this story would be mostly internal. As in, it would take place more in the character's minds.
if...that makes any sense
I guess what I'm saying is I'm just gonna really get into the character's heads, and focus more on the psychological aspects of the story.
That is why it's a psychological thriller : P
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Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:03 pm
Satan says...



Whenever anything has twins in, I always wonder why. Is it for cools, or for something deeper?


Haha, interesting question.

It's mostly for cools I suppose, but there's another reason, which is that there have been a few studies that have proven that if one twin is gay, the other has a fair chance to be gay, as well. Because whatever defect or hormone imbalance or what have you went on with one fetus, most likely went on with the other.
And I just thought that was a cool thing, so, yeah, mostly for cools.
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Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:33 am
Tenyo says...



Oh gosh that made my head spin XD

I was thinking fantasy because some of the concepts seem flawed, I guess because I can't imagine it turning that way, it would cause too many chain reactions that in a realistic setting would never actually result in this kind of world. In a fantasy setting (not neccesarily with elves and vampires and stuff,) you could place it in a world that is just radically different to our own to start with, and it would all make perfect sense.

I do really like the plot though and how it all came about. It's a really interesting concept and scenario to play around with.
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Thu Apr 12, 2012 4:03 pm
Satan says...



I was thinking fantasy because some of the concepts seem flawed, I guess because I can't imagine it turning that way, it would cause too many chain reactions that in a realistic setting would never actually result in this kind of world. In a fantasy setting (not neccesarily with elves and vampires and stuff,) you could place it in a world that is just radically different to our own to start with, and it would all make perfect sense.


Ah, I see what you mean.
I would actually consider that, building up a world different than ours, but with similarities so the plot still makes sense, except for the kind of...
hmm
er
Style? I want to say style, but perhaps it's more mood.
The kind of...mood, I want to portray with the story. It should be more eerie. Creepy, even. And nothing brings creepy/eerie together more than reflecting one's own world.

And there are just small things that would kind of, I don't want to say ruin the story, but make it lesser. Like when the couple washes up on shore. I want the reader to kind of put themselves in that couple's place, making them the most relatable characters probably. But I want them to see the kid through their eyes, and if they're from a different world, they probably speak a different language, have different antics, etcetera, etcetera.

And there are other things to consider.
Why wouldn't the world be different than ours in the sense that there are two genders, and people are gay and trans and stuff there, too, and there are people who don't like gay and trans and stuff people.
It kind of, personally, turns me off from a story when people go into so much trouble to create a whole new world, but make it similar to ours.

And you know what they say, write what you'd want to read.

again...if that makes any sense.
I still have a lot to work on, obviously heh, and I probably won't even start writing this 'till next year at the earliest.
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Sun Apr 15, 2012 2:48 am
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Rosendorn says...



I'm still seeing a very hard time picturing the chain reactions, which will remove any eery feeling because it feels rather unrealistic.

An eery feeling very well captured is 1984— because you can actively see it happening because of how government balances their own agendas with pleasing the masses. There's also the rather stark portrait of how dictatorships work, which was happening at the time (the publishing date is 1949, four years after WWII ended and the world got to see a dictatorship in action. It's still relevant today with the other dictatorships around).

Revolts aren't easy, and if somebody is going to go *that* nuts then they'd probably have some failsafes. You'd have to figure out how the failsafes, well, failed, to get that believable. Especially if he started going through the government and making it locked up like that.

The only government that springs to mind, that got overthrown so quickly, would be Akhenaten, and he didn't put all of his friends in positions of power during his rein.

I'd suggest looking at public opinion a bit more. It just seems to extreme that one bad gay guy would trigger mass hate. I've seen mass fear triggered, but not so much mass hate. There is a lot of mass hate, of course, but that mostly comes from people not knowing the other side at all past the one event. By going from "accepts everybody" to "hates gays", as a general social attitude, you're missing the key element of mass hate being triggered: people not knowing what the other group was like before they did something bad. It seems rather clear gays were very well known, which makes it more likely to have mass fear. The only way I'd see mass hate is if every gay jumped on the bandwagon for "hate heteros" but I doubt that would happen, thanks to the whole "social variety" thing.

I think it would make more sense for the gays to finally snap, overthrow the hetero society, it stays that way for a decent period of time (decade or two, at minimum) then have the world revert back. Then you have an actual feud between the sides and a visible reason for them to hate each other and it's more tied into the real world, therefore a bit more eery.

Social theories 2 cents.
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