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working on my biggest Project ever! D:

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5 Reviews

Gender: Male
Points: 1238
Reviews: 5
Sat Dec 17, 2011 7:58 pm
LxnderSpeck says...

This Epic Novel of mine is unnamed at the moment.

Story Plot: The Seven Shedu have always been evil vile "Life Wrecking" demons that enjoy the destruction of other people's lives. But this time around they have ruined the wrong 6 demons' lives. Now the 6 Heroes will get back at the Shedu for what they have done to the Heroes lives. When finding out the "Shedu Ultimatum" our 6 Heroes must decide, is it truly worth getting back at the Seven Shedu for what they have done.

The Seven Shedu: Are 7 female demons like mirrored as each other, all with the same "true form" yet with each of them having different elements to them. They thrive on pain and suffering, yet they seem to be moving at a pace as if planned out for them...could there be someone or something far more demonic pulling their strings?

The Seven Shedu names: In order of the strongest; left is the name of the Shedu; right is the element they posses:

1.) Lilith (Soul reaper)
2.)Satrina (necromancer)
3.)Talto (Fear)
4.) Kalee (sonic)
5.) Genlou (lightning)
6.) Zefonith (ice)
7.) Aventu (fire)

The Six Heroes:Demons who have been the latest victims of "The Seven Shedu" feeling cheated out of their loved lives, they plan to bring upon "The Seven Shedu" their demise. Later discovering as a group the price of killing "The Seven Shedu" with the intent of vengeance, they must ask themselves "is it worth it?"

The Six Heroes: In order of the most evil six demons; left is the name; right is their race; far right sex:

1.) Orfeo (Vampire);(M)
2.) Dante (Lycan);(M)
4.) Kama (Succubus);(F)
5.) Vallerie (Paragon);(F)
6.) Helena (Demi-Human);(F)

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9 Reviews

Gender: Female
Points: 1190
Reviews: 9
Sun Jan 01, 2012 1:43 pm
Wolfdancer95 says...

Woah, sounds like an epic tale that appears as a story within a story.

I like the idea, it seems close to the seven deadly sins conscept, to go with that concept I would go along the lines of symbolic things. And unless you have a reason that most of the shedu are women, I would try and even the genders out more.

How do the Hero demons meet? try just get to gether and hunt down the Shedu one by one? The concept is great, it's just lacking detail to give a full critisism.
'I am the monster in your head.'~ Breaking Benjamin.
"Little voice I thought I got ride of? I have some advice for you: SHUT. UP."~ WolfDancer.

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Points: 517
Reviews: 34
Sun Jan 01, 2012 2:14 pm
kasimkaey says...

So it's basically six against seven, the seven go around ruining people's lives for fun but it seems that it's almost planned for them, leading to something bigger? and the sex don't like the fact that the seven have done this so they go after them but then there's something they have to sacrifice along the way?

Sounds a little....bland right now. Maybe it's my interpretation of it, but it sounds like your normal revenge story, just with demons and bigger numbers. Why do the seven go around doing this? How did they come together? Were they just put into existence like this or were they brought together by some miraculous event? Same for the six - why six? Did they get together? Or were they together before their lives got ruined? And how did their lives get ruined? And where are the humans during this entire story - it just seems to be demons at the moment?

Just a few questions that came up whilst I was reading it - don't get me wrong, with work and some backstory and an amazing end, it could be a good story but for the moment, it's just bland.


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