Young Writers Society

Home » Forums » Resources » Writers Corner

Is this cliché/used idea?

User avatar
85 Reviews

Gender: Female
Points: 1464
Reviews: 85
Tue May 31, 2011 11:32 am
Eniarrol says...

Well this is little snipet/preveiw thing of a novel I might write but... it feels like it may have been used before or I have heard it from somewhere else. Can someone help me?

p.s Sorry Mods should this be moved to writing tips or something? I fail at life...sorry.

It was believed that the minute after Lioh was born, dreadful things started occurring. It was believed that the birds stopped singing their sweet; tender song and that the world had entered an eerie hush. It was believed that she had the devils same piercing stare and the winds harsh voice. It was believed she was evil; that she deserved to die the most painful and horrible death.

Lioh was never stamped out though, her parents were only common farmers but they managed to move far enough away from the tiny town to avoid the feigned death raids searching for the child.

So no one from The Town of Ura missed little Lioh when she went missing at the age of six. The world started voicing their thoughts and the birds again started singing; when they thought the child of a demon was long gone.

Any thoughts?
A hero isn’t defined by winning. Loads of heroes die in the effort. Most of them never get any recognition. No, a hero is just somebody who does the right thing when it would be far, far easier to do nothing.

~Previously SweetMoments

User avatar
336 Reviews

Gender: Female
Points: 805
Reviews: 336
Tue May 31, 2011 12:56 pm
Jas says...


This is a pretty original idea, as far as they go. It actually seems very interesting and the writing is good, solid. I'd read it. :D

I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.


User avatar
1220 Reviews

Gender: Other
Points: 71675
Reviews: 1220
Tue May 31, 2011 3:08 pm
Kyllorac says...

Original ideas are hard to come by, so even if there are similar stories out there (and there probably are), if you take the story in your own direction, you'll be fine.

That said, what you have here very strongly reminds me of Changelings, so you might want to read up on them for inspiration/an idea of what would be expected so that you can perhaps twist things a bit differently (or not).

On a different note, you have some major semicolon misuse going on there. Semicolons are used to basically connect two separate sentences that have closely related meanings; using a semicolon helps make that connection clearer and therefore stronger. A good trick to make sure you're using a semicolon properly is to replace it with a period. If you've got two complete sentences, then you're good. Otherwise, you've got a semicolon splice, and it probably should be a comma instead.
Screwing with gender since 1995.

There are no chickens in Hyrule.

User avatar
202 Reviews

Gender: None specified
Points: 8831
Reviews: 202
Wed Jun 01, 2011 1:41 am
Octave says...

Honestly, Kyll is right. Original ideas are rare and maybe they don't even exist anymore.

If we look at the bestseller lists, originality isn't as paramount as execution. Girl loves vampire? Done. Jesus has kids? Done. Kids have to kill each other? Been there as well.

What separates the ones on the bestseller lists and the ones left in obscurity is their execution. How well the story goes, the plot, the pacing, the characters, etc. Don't worry about the premise. Worry about everything else, and you should do fine. ^^
"The moral of this story, is that if I cause a stranger to choke to death for my amusement, what do you think I’ll do to you if you don’t tell me who ordered you to kill Colosimo?“

-Boardwalk Empire

Love, get out of my way.

Dulcinea: 2,500/50,000

A beautiful funeral doesn't guarantee Heaven.
— Haitian Proverb