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hey! please read this excerpt.

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Sat Apr 16, 2011 2:47 am
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theterrificdoom says...

Hi. It is an excerpt from my novel. Please read it.

Listen," the man spoke out, his voice thundering through the silence in the dark room. "I...I am the only one that killed my wife and my son..." Their mouths didn't open, (waiting for a chance to open with a sudden horror.) "Be..because they were evil. When I married her, I didn't know that what she was, because she (looked me quite pretty). But, soon after some days, she began taking forms. When I asked her of it, she straightforwardly refused to have done anything like that. But, that was not all, soon after we shifted to Darkfalls, she started giving sacrifices of innocent people in the town. Then, we had our first child, a boy born with blood in his eyes, and his first word was,'From doom to the hell!', so I had to kill both of them.... for the welfare of the others, but bound by their black magic, they were still alive instead of dead, and gave this everlasting curse to me and the whole town."
How was it?
Well, 'the Goon' is just a small part, and it is not a bloody novel, please give me tips regarding this excerpt. THAANX.

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Gender: Male
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Wed May 11, 2011 5:42 pm
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Cramerx says...

You look like you have a pretty good horror novel on your hands. I've read a quite a few horror books and this sounds pretty good for one. Is this from a horror book that your working on?
Men are born without limits but learn about them throughout their years.

It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
— Mark Twain