Young Writers Society

Ok, so basically I have a sort of idea, an antagonist and an ending...but no story. Help?

The gist is that Magic is real (whoops, that's not cliched at all) and that beings known as Sorcerers can manipulate it to either alter the world around them or extend their life time to the point of infinity.

Sorcerers can be defined into two groups:
Alterers: Sorcerers who can change the world around them via their control over Fire, Lighting and Thunder and can become pure Embodiments of these elements to wield unimaginable power for breif periods of time. The catch is their life span is dramatically shortened.


Observers: Sorcerers who extend their life time via control over Ice and Stone and can resist time to the point of Immortality. The catch is that the longer they live, the more detached they become from Earth. To counteract the raw chaotic power of Embodiments, especially strong Observers can gain the ability to Disintegrate enemies, though their main battle tactic is to encase and trap their opponents.

The antagonist I have worked up is an Immortal called the Clockwork Man. He can control Time, but is trapped in an alternate universe where only his clock-work automatons keep him company. He is insane from existing longer than the universe itself, and has witnessed the end of days. His main goal in existence is to end his suffering, but the only way to do that is to prevent himself from his human form being killed and his true killer exposed. He visits his old Eighteenth Century home many times, but cannot touch or change anything, only watch. He kidnaps the Protagonist and forces him( her) to try and stop him being murdered, though the Protagonist doesn't know that at the time. All he must do is survive as he and his friends are hurdled through time and space being hunted by clockwork machines.

In the end the Protagonist's love sacrifices him(her)self to seal away the Clockwork man forever. The Protagonist then returns to his home, where he uses his Embodiment to change the world in some way yet to be decided.

Here is the ending.

The man lay in a fetal position on the frozen floor. Broken gears lay scattered around him and a icy top hat sat perched upon his head. Slowly he got up and walked across to the mirror image of him lying on the ground. The two faces stared at each other; one white from the cold, the other from the clenches of death. The man in the top hat reached down and stroked his cheek with a single gloved hand. A single spark of flame danced in his fingers.

Help anybody?

This reminds me too much of the book Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare. While your idea is different than the main storyline of her book, much of what you described reminds me of Clockwork Angel. Your Clockwork man, all of his clock-work automatons, the Protagonist being hunted by clockwork machines. Those bits are too similar to what Cassandra Clare focussed on in Clockwork Angel.

He can control Time, but is trapped in an alternate universe where only his clock-work automatons keep him company. He is insane from existing longer than the universe itself, and has witnessed the end of days. His main goal in existence is to end his suffering, but the only way to do that is to prevent himself from his human form being killed and his true killer exposed. He visits his old Eighteenth Century home many times, but cannot touch or change anything, only watch. He kidnaps the Protagonist and forces him( her) to try and stop him being murdered, though the Protagonist doesn't know that at the time.

This, apart from his only company being clock-work automatons, is a very good plot. I think you could go far with it. Personally, I think it does need some tweaking and alot of work as it`s quite underdeveloped(I know, it`s probably just a persistant plot bunny in your head haha!) but it has alot of potential. Though you didn't say anything about Sorcerers apart from your descriptions of the two types, I'm assuming that a sorcerer trapped the "Clockwork Man" in the alternate universe for some reason? What would that reason be? I would suggest finding a different name rather than "Clockwork Man" and I'm not really that fond of the idea of his company being clockwork automatons. It's just too similar to another book for my liking! Perhaps you could think of something other than "clockwork machines" to be hunting the protagonist?