Young Writers Society

Okay. So I have this idea which I think it's really good but I don't know if it appeals to the general crowd. I'd like to give you a plot overview. Here;

A girl, Delanie Heart (oh yes, I went there) hears music from the forest. She investigates only to be so captivated she can't move. A bag is thrust over her head and she wakes up in the elven city of Aleogra. The elf, Ivy, explains the prophecy how a human can save the city. Here's the situation; the fallen elf Allacus takes over the city and is letting all the fallen elves inside. There is chaos and violence everywhere and nobody knows how to stop the devastating changes Allacus wants to put in place. The rule is no humans allowed because Allacus is cautious of the prophecy.

They talk until a guard comes in and asks about a human. He leaves after Ivy declines but not before Ivy notices a pair of eyes disappear from her window. Racing to catch the spy, she finds its another elf called Laef and he wants to help them. They agree and Laef gives them his adress. The next moring Ivy is taken away and Delanie, not knowing what to do, rushes to Laef. They plan on how to help Ivy from prison and fall in love during the process.

*REVISED EDITION!*
Ivy and Delanie talk until there is a knock on the door. Delanie hides and the guard comes in, saying there has been a report of suspicious activity and when Ivy denies anything suspicious, the guard leaves. Delanie comes back out and then Ivy notices eyes there. They freak out, since humans aren't allowed in the city, and Ivy runs to catch the spy. They bring in another elf, Laef, who claims he is just curious about humans and he wants to help. Delanie and Ivy accept and Laef gives them his address. The next morning, Ivy is taken into the palace dungeon for questioning and on another report of suspicious activity. Delanie doesn't know what to do so she rushes to Laef's place. From there, Laef and Delanie plan on how to rescue Ivy, and during that time they begin to fall in love.

They save Ivy (still working on that) and defeat Allacus (in the works too). I think I'm going to fit magic into here that parallels Allacus,therefor being able to defeat him. Delanie goes back to her own house only to discover more than 500 years has passed. Distressed, she goes back to Aleogra. Because Delanie helped saved Aleogra from Allacus, the Queen changes her into a permanent elf. The story ends with a cute love scene or dialogue between Laef and Delanie. The end.

I just would like your opinion on it so please tell me Oh, no trolling. If you hate it, could you at least give me a sufficient reason? Thanks.

They talk until a guard comes in and asks about a human. He leaves after Ivy declines but not before Ivy notices a pair of eyes disappear from her window. Racing to catch the spy, she finds its another elf called Laef and he wants to help them. They agree and Laef gives them his adress. The next moring Ivy is taken away and Delanie, not knowing what to do, rushes to Laef. They plan on how to help Ivy from prison and fall in love during the process.

This part really confused me, so I'm not sure there.

All in all, any idea can be made into a good story. What matters is how you execute it. Me, I'm verrrrrrry wary of any prophecy. It almost never leads to a good thing (every cliched fantasy has one. Seriously). So, I would be careful there. Fairie stories are overdone as well, but like I said, it all depends on how you execute it. Any idea can be made original.

Good luck! I hope it works out.

Thanks for the review. I realize the blowup emphasize placed on elven and fairy stories such as this one, and you're right about the prophecy. I just don't know how to incorporate how Ivy wants Delanie to help them, why it's impossible for Delanie to be seen in the city and how an ordinary human can defeat Allacus. I came up with the prophetic idea although I will take into consideration about how it's possible to avoid.

Thanks again

I think this could be interesting, but I'd like to see a bit more "why" in all these actions.

Reading through every event you have, I'm craving to know "why" this happens. Why is the city in danger? Why are humans forbidden? Why does time run differently in the elven city? Why do they fall in love? You're already asking why a human would be needed to save the city, so I'll not directly ask that question.

I'd stick some more "why"s in this story, just to make it stronger. "Why"s tend to be what differentiate cliche from good. (Unless you're actively making fun of cliches, then the less reasons why the better)

Im not really sure whats happening. So Delanie get kidnapped by elfs and is saved by humans?

Hehe, no. Delanie is a human who saves the elves. I admit that this story planning could've used a lot more detail. I will be sure to make everything crystal clear (or as close as I can get it) when I continue on writing the story. I've already completed the first chapter so I have a good foundation now to build on.

Thanks guys