Young Writers Society

Key: Important Item|Location|Character

Plot: Jake is going to travel to the land of the gods, Ελληνικά or Olympus as known in english is the center of all known god activity. It is full of mythical creatures and beings such as Centaur, Griffin, Satyrs and many other weired and wonderful places. There are many artifacts that open portals from Earth to Olympus, many of these portals are lost and still active, one very important and special artifact that opens all the portals to Earth is The Gladistar Ring held by Princess Cressida. When going to earth the portal closes up and Jake is trapped in the mysterious world of Olympus! Jake also has a ring, The Midgard Ring, his father found it (he is an archeologist) and kept it in a locked cabinet. When Jake's father went missing the cabinet was opened, the ring was there and there was no trace of who, or what, opened it. Jake must travel to the far reaches of olympus to retrieve the only keeper of another ring. Hades.

Facts:
-Jake and his family live in a town just outside of london, Kingsgrove.

Characters:

Jake Griffin



James Griffin



Jayne Griffin



Locations:

The Lines




Important items:

The Gladistar Ring



The Midgard Ring



Notes/Resources:
Community Name Generator
Town Name Generator

Hey there. I'm Rosey and I'll be reviewing your idea today.

The first thing I noticed what your title. While it is attention getting, it is also hard to read and the obscure language makes it look a bit too much like you're trying to sound smart for the sake of it. I ran your title by a friend who knows Greek, and he is pretty sure your title is incorrect. It translates to "Greek", not "Olympus." If anybody else who saw your title knew Greek, they would probably pick up on this mistake and think you haven't done your research (according to him, the actual title should be Όλυμπος). Also, because your plot is not 100% Greek (I'll get to that later) the Greek letters look out of place in your mild mish-mash.

Second thing. The Greek/Norse mix. Your plot looks a lot like LotR [Lord of the Rings] with the quest for the ring, and you are using Norse mythology, which was the basis of LotR. Not only does this make your idea seem more familiar, but it also breaks up the apparent all-Greek base. The rings are what I'm talking about, with the Norse base.

Next, the way the rings handle portals. What prevents them from being abused? Especially with your current set-up with Hades in a more antagonistical position; ie- somebody who is an opponent to be negotiated with or defeated. It also sets up a lot of logistical implications, such as the havoc that can be brought about should somebody decide to abuse it. Even if it gets used properly, there can still be a lot of problems with an all-open key.

The Hades thing I bring up because he actually wasn't that much of an antagonist in Greek Myth. The "good" Gods themselves were much nastier than he was, all told. This makes the plot look rather classic "Hell is evil", without the historical parameters for what Heaven and Hell were in Greece. If you were to take these parameters into account, then your story could really get some interesting twists. Especially if you get into what sort of usual quest items found in Greek Myth, instead of relying on the slightly more stereotypical quest items the Norse rings are.

Onto his father... I don't like that he "just happens" to be an archaeologist who found a super powerful ring and kept it. My question to that whole situation is "why?" Why is he an archaeologist? Why did he find the ring? Why did he keep the ring, instead of giving it to a museum (and please do not say "he didn't want it to go in public view because he knew it was powerful." That's been done a million times)? That whole thing reads as a Deus Ex Machina to me, which is when a not-so-logical plot point is put into the story just so the plot could work. Unless rationalized, these Deus Ex Machinas (rather literally, from Greek, "God out of the machine") are often viewed as quick fixes at best.

Hope this helps in research. I'd focus more strongly on the Greek roots of our plot points, to stay closer to them and not look like you tried to mesh "traditional" fantasy (LotR-based mythos) with Greece, as the two are very different mythologies and cultures.

~Rosey