Hey everyone! Just starting a new novel. It's a twist on the story of Beauty and the Beast. I really like to be descriptive. I mean, when J.R.R. Tolkien is your role model, it's hard not to be. I need advice, though. I'm including a section of my progress below, and I really want people's advice on it. Mainly, is it too descriptive? My intentions are not to drag the story on for hundreds of pages, but I really want to get all the details down. Just let me know what you think, and if I need to fix anything. Any other comments would be great. Just no rude ones. This is my life.
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Yes, it had been a good plan. By mid-morning, they’d nearly reached their campsite. It was then that one of the boys had yelled out and they turned to see a plume of dust coming up from the city. Their pursuers were trained warriors on good horses, and although they tried to flee them, they were soon outdistanced. They raced up a hill, and although the two other boys managed to get down without a problem, a squirrel leapt into the path of the Princess’ son and his horse reared. The boy was thrown backwards over the horse and rolled to the bottom of the hill as the horse tore off into the undergrowth. Moments later, the boy was surrounded by men on horseback and their captain, a gruff old man who was like an executioner to the young boy, had dismounted, grumbling about being in major trouble this time, before gently but unyieldingly grabbing the boy’s arm and pulling him up into the saddle with him.
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Here's another section of the same story:
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It wasn’t enough. With four horses to handle, it took longer for the signal to get through. They turned faster and tighter than they might have, but it still wasn’t enough. The other driving, his own reflexes slow from his intoxication, pulling his horses hard, away from the carriage. His cart wheels slid on the wet ground, and the force of the horses pulling sent the cart airborne. The driver lost his seating and was thrown to the ground as the cart slammed into the carriage. When it lost it’s forward momentum, the cart crashed to the ground, pinning the driver underneath.
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Thank you guys so much!
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