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To write a letter



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Sun May 30, 2010 2:25 am
RayquazaKid says...



Hello all. I need an opinion on something.

In a story I plan to write (though haven't written it yet), there is a letter. It was one of those things where I thought I needed to write straight away, because it sounded good. Anyways, theres a certain effect I'm trying to go for, thought I really need some opinions on it.

Here is a letter the villian of that story writes. It's recieved through e-mail (or fax, I haven't wxactly worked out the method of delivery)

There are a few things you may need to know to fully understand this letter.
1. This story takes place a milennium into the future. In this future, the world is surrounded by four gigantic rings, all of which encircle the planet. All of nature is on the surface of those rings, which is the only thing the villian wishes to preserve. The surface of the planet, was destoryed but days before this letter is recieved.
2. There are two extraterrestrials in the story, and they are protagonist in the story. Both of them (Life and Bell) are mentioned in the letter.
3. The villain used to be a co-worker with the human main protagonists, so they know who this guy is personally.

Dear friends,

My apologies, I can’t seem to say that enough. It seems another one of my plans has gone awry, as you can plainly see. So sorry you must see the world this way, I had not intended for your survival. I can assure you will not have to suffer it if you commit suicide . I would greatly appreciate it if you did.

That being said, please note that in my time in Life’s body, I was able to plant explosives in each of the rings. While detonating them would destroy the rings (and that goes against my plans), I will gladly do so if it gets rid of some obstacles. If you wish to see the creation of a new world, please don’t be an obstacle.

Also note that I have Bell. If you wish for proof (and I bet you do), I have sent photographic evidence to be viewed at your leisure. Do know that I can take things away. Currently, she will not fly, walk, or see, again. If you try anything, I will take more. If you openly defy me, I will kill her. Please do not condemn her to death.

Not only that, but I also have the ring defense systems under my control. Which means, should I chose to, I can shoot at anything that flies. Of course, it would be a real shame if someone died by being shot, and if possible that scenario should be avoided. I will only fire them if my hand is forced, and you should try and see to it that doesn’t happen.

So I must ask you to not do anything. I can assure you that everything is under control. While you may know me for my plans failing, none have been as extensively thought out as this. With that reason, you need not worry. I will certainly succeed this time. And trust me, when this is over you will thank me.

With lots of manly hugs,

- Dr. Jules Marsque Ph.D

So... how does the villain come across? COuld you give me your opinion? Very much appreciated.
Last edited by RayquazaKid on Thu Jun 03, 2010 10:56 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Wed Jun 02, 2010 11:33 pm
Shepherd says...



To me, he seems to be lovably misguided--one of those supervillains who you can almost feel sorry for. He just might have gotten it right this time! But no, his plans have yet again gone awry. I like your tone, here, and I hope this is the personality that you are looking to portray (because it is a strong one!).
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Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:41 pm
Rosendorn says...



He's making me shudder a bit, I find. He seems like a very charming psychopath, which is what's so creepy.

I did enjoy the letter, and I'm sure it would have more punch in the actual plot itself.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

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To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.
— Proverbs 18:13