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Most likely a few bad ideas, but I'm not the best judge



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Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:39 am
pinkangel54123 says...



Just so you know I'm obsessed with all things mythical. Also, I'm not to good at summing up a story in so many words, but I'll give it a shot.
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Not: This one is about two fallen angels. One is a boy named Damon, and the other is a girl named Lucia. They were banished because they destroyed many very populated and prestigous buidings and killed thousands. They are stripped of their wings and left with scars that won't heal and the same mark that God gave Cain. They have to learn how to do everything sort of how a baby would since they used to live in heaven and nothing is the same.

Luna: This one is a vampire story and a few chapters are already up. Anyway, it's about a girl who is part of an infamous-in the world of vampires-group of vampires called The Guardians. Her adoptive father is killed by another group of vampired called The Slayers. She and her brother, who are the only two in the group, live in secrecy among the humans, but keep up their normal eating habits, but they stay conscious of who is watching them. When the girl slips that she doesn't have any parents someone who overheard sends CPS to check it out. They vampires try to get away, but the state has already tracked them down and are forcing them to live in foster care. Their secret is threatened by a boy who the girl thought was a friend because he puts together the small things that no one is close enough to notice.

Is he real?: The very beginning of this is also up. It's about a girl who is under mind control by this thing (I'm not quite sure what it is myself). It takes over her little sisters mind entirely, and it can project thoughts through the girl and into other peoples minds. Later on after a while she begins to question her sanity and his existence in the first place. I'm not very far on this one though.

I'm horrible at summerizing, so if you have any questions about any of them I'll gladly answer them the best I can. Thank You.
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Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:32 am
pinkangel54123 says...



Come on, please respond. I'll give you a virtual cookie!(Maybe) But really I need some feed back.
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Fri Dec 04, 2009 9:17 am
SpencerSharp says...



I think this is not bad and i guess i don't have any questions nice work from my behalf
  





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Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:13 pm
Writersdomain says...



Hey there pinkangel!

The first idea, Not, is definitely an interesting one. It sounds tricky to do, as you would have to have a very good idea of what these two angels know from their experience in heaven. Also, I think you would need to tighten up your idea of their conflict a little bit. Learning how to live in a whole new world is certainly a conflict, but such a feat would require strong earthly, supporting characters who can contrast the two fallen angels. I think the 'earth' side of the story needs to be sorted out a little more, but it definitely piques my interest.

The second idea is also interesting, but it would also take some work. Why couldn't the vampires just escape from foster care? What's keeping them from just running away? Do they form some kind of attachment to their foster parents? It certainly sounds interesting; I think the character relationships would need to be fleshed out though.

The third one sounds nifty, but you'd need to figure out what was taking over her mind and whether it's a literal thing involving conflict or some mysterious force you want to leave ambiguous. This piece sounds, from your summarization, likes it is more centered around idea, which is an interesting but tricky thing to pull off. Anyways, I think it's a cool idea. You just need to decide what this thing that takes over minds is and how your character is going to go insane.

Some great ideas you have!
~ WD
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