Young Writers Society

I was sitting in my psychology class when I got this idea. We were talking about intelligence testing and how they used it to classify people. So I came up with an idea where this is practiced to the extreme. I need you all to tell me if this idea has potential, or if it's cliched and been done. I think it might be close to The Hunger Games, I'm not sure because I haven't read it.

Anyway the year is 2444. (The year is subject to change.) After the abuse of the planet and wars, the earth is nearly gone. So each country activates project EDEN. A enclosed sanctuary that is unaffected by the outsides troubles, but in each country, EDEN only has so much room. In the US three domes stretch from the east to the west cutting out most of the Southern and Northern states.

The first Dome is for Elementary children, from birth until the age of 18. At the age of 18 they are required to take The Test. If they fail they are booted out of EDEN and into The Exile lands. If the pass they are given a job in the second dome of the Elites. Again when they reach 50 they must take The Test, and again if they fail they are kicked out of EDEN. If they pass they move into the final dome for the Elders, who make the laws, and devise The Test.



The story starts with a boy named Cameron turning 18 and about to take the test. So he and his best friend James take The test, and he fails. Before he is kicked out he tells his friend to give his girlfriend a engagement ring. He had planned on asking her to marry him when he got to the Elite dome.

So he is kicked out and he finds a group of Exiles that saves his life.

While back home his girlfriend can't believe he failed and starts investigating, and discovers that the Tests aren't fair and that Cameron had passed, and for some reason they had failed him. With this discovery she has to leave as assassins come to kill her for this knowledge. She and James flee the dome to find Cameron.

And the outside is very dangerous. Human structures remain but animals prowl threw city streets, the weather is intense and some of the Exiles have become dangerous cannibals. So the first book is about surviving this and discovering the true intention for the Tests.

So tell me what you think, and point out anything I should change to make it more original.

Hi PB,

This idea follows a familiar framework. It seems like all dystopian/post-apocalyptic novels revolve around a central threat (the Hunger Games, for example) that the protagonist has to confront. So a few paragraphs into your plot summary, I already knew that the protagonist would fail the Test and get kicked out, and would then discover some scary/dangerous truths about the society he once took for granted.

That said, this is a familiar framework because it works, and I think dystopian/post-apoc novels aren't as cliched and tired as (say) Hero's Journey fantasy. So I think while the idea isn't stunningly original, the ultimate quality depends on execution.

One logic problem that I did want to pull up is the overall social effect of filtering very strongly for intelligence. Intelligence (by which I mean the ability to pass an intelligence test, which is by no means the same thing) is a useful quality, but a society can't run on smarts alone. Factory workers need strength and dedication more than they need intelligence. Carers need empathy and patience more than they need intelligence. And so on. Have you thought about the far-reaching effects of a society booting out everyone who can't pass intelligence tests?

Also, the idea of three domes big enough to encompass the entire width of America from East Coast to West Coast is pretty crazy. I can't imagine how this could be possible, even with handwavey futuristic metals and whatever.

I assume the project EDEN domes are a deliberate reference to the Eden Project with its iconic domes?

Hope this helps.

Cheers,
Karsten

I think that your idea is cool, and who knows it might happen, but maybe 3 domes is not big enough for the population of the world that it needs to take care of, I mean, even right ow earth's population is growing every year and how could a dome be big enough to hold a certain part of the population, let's say the "kids". Kids are the most in number and well, I think if you hold the all the kids of the world in one country, it probably won't work out as well. Also, in most futuristic stories, I notice that there's always this one technological advancement, it goes wrong, isolates the rest of the world from what went bizerk and stuff like that. Maybe you can change it a bit so it would not be so.... the same, I guess. But I like the part where the protagonist is not alone, I mean he's got his girlfriend and his best friend and maybe you could put a cool past between Cameron as to why he was failed for no good reason (maybe because he found a secret to their existence or something of the sort?) and that's why the gilfriend and the best friend are on the run by assasins (are these assasins "cops gone bad" type or really the rogue kind?) Anyway, I like it, and I hope you'd continue with it. You could also add other aspects into the environment they live in, like you know the all-around test. Test for strength, agility, smarts and stuff like that, and maybe as to why they have to be seperated from other groups of humanity instead of being "one". Like you know, why those teens can't be with their parents or their grandma and grandpa. So, that's all I can say. I'll stop blabbing now. XD
Bye..

Thanks for the input Thinker, and Karsten.

Karsten- You helped me alot. I see what you mean about the test so I've added parts for physical and emotional. No I didn't purposefully connect to the Eden domes, but now that I know about them I will.

Thinker-The domes in question are only set of in the US. Each country has their owns system. As for the number of kids being the most. There are strict birthing laws, to keep the number even. If it surpasses they randomly kill or exile children. The assassins are hired by The Elders to kill anyone that threatens their power. Another example would be Australia which is used a a giant prison.

Lastly when it comes to Cameron failing the test your comments gave me so ideas for that so thanks.