Young Writers Society

I got an idea recently for a story/story series (if I want to keep writing), while at the time trying to think up a werewolf one, and finally got one I didn’t immediately want to throw out. It does not focus too mainly on the werewolf part, but does at time use it. Not being a vivid reader of darker more demon fantasy (just recently got into it) not sure if the story is clichéd for it. That’s where you, the people, come in. Does this sound overused, and if not, good?

Here is the plot. (Main character name is going to change)

Jeffery always was never "weak", but always had trouble keeping what he wanted for too long. He always kept praying for hope, until one day he gave up and turned to a darker side. With the aid of a demon he was able to achieve power, and a new found ability to hold on to things. The power came with a price, so unless he can pay, not only will he lose everything, and go to hell, for real.
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The price is that Jeffery is the demon's errand boy, and he has to go on missions to kill, steal, etc, as he fights to do as little damage as he can. While at the same time keeping his life in order, and trying not to get sucked into to the evil demon side that haunts him.

Also, the way it would work if he was a werewolf is he would have the pelt of a wolf that he always wears. This allows the demon to channel his energy and turn him into a werewolf, where Jeffery can only see what he does as the Demon does the rest.


---Also, name for the demon and MC would be helpful.

Jeffery always was never "weak", but always had trouble keeping what he wanted for too long. He always kept praying for hope, until one day he gave up and turned to a darker side. With the aid of a demon he was able to achieve power, and a new found ability to hold on to things. The power came with a price, so unless he can pay, not only will he lose everything, and go to hell, for real.

This bit sounds a bit like Dr. Faustus an old play about a man that makes a deal with a demon to gain power. I say the thing about holding onto something would be enough of a difference though.
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The price is that Jeffery is the demon's errand boy, and he has to go on missions to kill, steal, etc, as he fights to do as little damage as he can. While at the same time keeping his life in order, and trying not to get sucked into to the evil demon side that haunts him.

And this sounds a bit like ghost rider.

Also, the way it would work if he was a werewolf is he would have the pelt of a wolf that he always wears. This allows the demon to channel his energy and turn him into a werewolf, where Jeffery can only see what he does as the Demon does the rest.

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I'd say this is the most original bit.

As for the name although this would kid of go back to both Faustus and Ghost rider you could call the demon. Mephastophilis. Which basically is the devil. This would be a connection to ancient legends and religions. If you want to be more original then I suggest looking names up for their meanings.

For example in the show supernatural one of the evil demons was named Lilith. I looked it up and it basically meant demon. So just look up some names that have evil meanings.

As for the main character I'd suggest the same. Look up names that could apply to wolves or power, or something that relates to his ambition. But avoid anything with Lu in it. Because that's been done. Lucian, Lupin etc.

pm me if you need any examples.

I don't think this sounds cliche at all. Maybe a few things are a bit similar to other tales but originality is all in the details. I would avoid vampire vs werewolf. That is a bit played out. I'm not fond of wolf-man type werewolves but thats just personal preference.
As for names, I don't know if you want names relating to wolves and demons but here are a few that do:
Wolf: Adolf, Arno, Bordolf, Botolf, Channing, Conall, Conan, Ethelwulf, Eyolf, Faolan, Fenris, Fridolf, Gonzalo, Lowell, Lyall, Odolph, Phelan, Ralph, Randall, Randi, Randolph, Raoul, Rodlpho, Rolf, Udolf, Ulf, Ulmer, Ulric, Wolcott...I like Raoul, Ulf, and Frenris, myself. (And I have a werewolf named Faelan- a combination of Phelan and Faolan!)
Demon(or Evil):Addanc,Teivel, Lamis, Mukesh, Nukpana, Usha, Vritra, Hecate, Ahriman...