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A Novel Idea



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Sat Aug 08, 2009 9:48 pm
Angels-Symphony says...



[removed]

Thanks for the help ^^
Last edited by Angels-Symphony on Tue Aug 11, 2009 5:04 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:04 pm
ImaginativeInsanity says...



Wow, Shina! That's a really cool idea. :D I like the setting, because it really adds an interesting dimension to the story in my mind. I also love the idea of the way the children's powers work, since music is such a powerful thing.

As for your options, I like the idea of combining them, but leaning more toward option two. For example, he could return to the village and find the girl, but maybe she isn't entirely immune to the boy's powers . . . she just has an interesting resistance that he just can't understand. It would be fun to play with the boy's emotions on that one, torn between his guilt when his powers are affecting her more and his frustration when she seems completely unaffected.

I dunno, just a suggestion. :) Then, the king can eventually use the girl to get at the boy, and a super amazing climax will ensue, I'm sure.

If you ever start writing this and posting it on YWS, PM me, because I love the idea.

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Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:08 pm
ZaddieCaso says...



Wow Shina!

You already know that I like option 2 best.

I'm not sure what else to say, I think the boy should play something a little more masculine than a flute (which snake charmers used) in the story, maybe some sort of oldfashioned guitar, maybe one he's made himself.

Just please whatever you do don't make the boy have feelings for the girl. You know and I know that I way too preditictable.

This sounds like and amazing idea Shina,

look forward to reading it :]

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Sun Aug 09, 2009 3:06 am
Rosendorn says...



Now, this situation wouldn't work as a historical fiction at all. I haven't heard of any empires in that area with walls around the whole kingdom (too hard to maintain. The only example I know of is in China, that that wall took four-hundred years to build and the guy who ordered it to be built was slightly crazy) That little bit of information might really mess up your world building, but should you put in some sort of magic to make the wall's maintenance easier, (going back to the Great Wall, it was abandoned soon after completion) as well as building, then it is plausible.

When it comes to a group where the power struggle is religious, look at the rule of Akhenaten, in Egypt. He overthrew all the gods in replace of one. Might get some ideas as to how it was done. For clashes between two different religions, and it actually causing strife, then go a bit more east and look at Mughul India. There was a clash between Hindus and Muslims there. You'd have to look at the emperors other than Akbar, though. He was very tolerant.

Kinds of instruments would be drums, and you'd really have to pick a country in order to be able to pick the instruments. They varied wildly depending on the country and time period.

You'd also have to take culture into account here. A place like Egypt would be more modern in thinking (they had such a thing as woman's rights) but if you go in the Middle East there will be much more suppressing of women. All of those countries were slave holding nations, so you're safe on that front. However, they would be treated differently.

When it comes to the actual plot, I think make the girl resistant to magic but hide it (why else would she be chosen as a sacrifice?) but have her be shipped off. There is a lot more room for plot that way.

I'd be slightly careful on the king's personality there. He's got to have some redeeming qualities.

The captured sister thing could be used well, with a twist. You'd have to put one in though because I've seen that done a lot.

Hope this helps!

~Rosey
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Sun Aug 09, 2009 5:21 pm
Angels-Symphony says...



rosey unicorn wrote:Now, this situation wouldn't work as a historical fiction at all.

O__O Shoot, I forgot I have to study when it comes to historical fiction =___= Maybe I'll write this after I learn about it in World History this year. But then again, I never really was a historical fiction writer. Maybe it'll be fantasy fiction D: So it can be what I want it to look like. Hmm, but then...

Would it still be able to take place in the desert? And use some of their customs?
Well, if it's fantasy, it probably would be... But I need to double check -.-"

I haven't heard of any empires in that area with walls around the whole kingdom (too hard to maintain. The only example I know of is in China, that that wall took four-hundred years to build and the guy who ordered it to be built was slightly crazy) That little bit of information might really mess up your world building, but should you put in some sort of magic to make the wall's maintenance easier, (going back to the Great Wall, it was abandoned soon after completion) as well as building, then it is plausible.

I was thinking about Avatar (the last airbender) when I was thinking about this. They have bending skills, therefore, it was a lot easier for them. I'd give the other people magic, but then, it wouldn't make the charmers as special.

Unless... This kingdom/village/empire *does not know terms* was built in a valley, or some sort of natural rock formation that could somehow box it up. Maybe I should watch Aladdin again @__@

But that reminds me... Genies? Sorceresses? Magic?

They had it all! But I don't have toon disney on my TV anymore, so the series is not available.
Aladdin was in a place similar to Arabia? Actually, I don't know where it took place. Last year, I didn't even know Egypt was in Africa, yet alone on our planet.

You'd also have to take culture into account here. A place like Egypt would be more modern in thinking (they had such a thing as woman's rights) but if you go in the Middle East there will be much more suppressing of women. All of those countries were slave holding nations, so you're safe on that front. However, they would be treated differently.

I feel like merging cultures. But I'll wait for you to reply to see if that's allowed, first.
*awaits Rosey's all-knowingness*

When it comes to the actual plot, I think make the girl resistant to magic but hide it (why else would she be chosen as a sacrifice?) but have her be shipped off. There is a lot more room for plot that way
.
Wait, so after she's shipped of she's gone from the book forever? O__O Can you explain this to me, Rosey?

I'd be slightly careful on the king's personality there. He's got to have some redeeming qualities.

Way ahead of you :D I always think about the story and switch the protagonists around, or in other words, sometimes I imagine it from the antagonists POV, making him the protagonist. Well, he has to have a reason to be villanous.

The captured sister thing could be used well, with a twist. You'd have to put one in though because I've seen that done a lot.

I'm thinking it goes something like this:

Let's say the boy (MC)'s name is Bob and his sister's name is Mary.

When Bob and Mary were kidnapped, they were kidnapped separately. And also, wherever the setting is, most of the woman or people in general wore shemaghs, or some sort of garment that protects their neck and face from the sun.

I'm thinking that the king actually doesn't have his sister. Either he thinks it's his sister, or he got his sister, and she escaped later. But anyways, a big mix up. For sure, Bob thinks the king has his sister.

Now lets say after he becomes a charmer, his name changes to George.

George goes to the village and watches the girl, let's say her name is Sarah. The only reason Sarah is happy all the time is because she knows her brother is safe somewhere and that he escaped, and also because her family is safe because she's sacrificing herself instead.

George doesn't learn this until later, but you might've guessed it, Sarah is actually George's sister. She used a different name to protect her identity or something. Haven't decided.

But something like that will prevent the "boy being fascinated by girl" thing from being cliche. They don't fall in love, they're related. And the whole time they were put into slavery because they thought doing so would keep the other from being a slave.

Haven't decided the ending. But they'll probably try to escape. Or maybe they hear from a fortune teller (gypsy? did they exist there?) that the valley the kingdom is in will flood and they try to rescue the empire? Does it work? Probably not. Or they just try to escape.

Not sure.

Come back soon, Rosey! I need your helppp!
[spoiler](this is for personal reference: gypsy scarf, sultan, turban, saris, shemagh, or desert scarf. burqas [/spoiler]

-shina
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Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:55 pm
Rosendorn says...



Alright, so I am back.

Would it still be able to take place in the desert? And use some of their customs?
Well, if it's fantasy, it probably would be... But I need to double check -.-"


Absolutly. I've gotten a bit tired of a stock world in fantasy (somewhere in Europe, usually) so seeing something set in a non-western location is wonderful.

I was thinking about Avatar (the last airbender) when I was thinking about this. They have bending skills, therefore, it was a lot easier for them. I'd give the other people magic, but then, it wouldn't make the charmers as special.


What if more people had magic, like bending, but only certain people had charming magic?

Unless... This kingdom/village/empire *does not know terms* was built in a valley, or some sort of natural rock formation that could somehow box it up. Maybe I should watch Aladdin again @__@


That could work and was often done for individual cities.

Terms:

Empire- Collection of different cultures under one government. Can be hereditary (Emperor passes empire to oldest or favourite son) or have a group of elected officials (think Ancent Greece and Rome in the early days. Rome had both from what I know of)

Kingdom- One culture under one government. Usually hereditary, and I'm not sure there are any examples of a non-hereditary one.

Village- Holds same meaning as modern day; a small city

But that reminds me... Genies? Sorceresses? Magic?


Genies are a true magical race known as Dinji. They can be evil, benevolant, or tricksters.

Sorceresses are female magic users, usually darker, but not as dark as witches.

Aladdin was in a place similar to Arabia? Actually, I don't know where it took place.


Technically, yes. However a lot of stuff was altered to fit the plot of the movie as well as make it more Western. Should that have been real, the princess wouldn't have had any say in it, the sultan may or may not have had more power (depends on the empire. Mughul culture, the emperor was the all-powerful head, in China and possibly the Ottoman empire, the advisors got a lot of power as the emperor had fun) and the emperor wouldn't have had just one wife; he would have had dozens.

I feel like merging cultures. But I'll wait for you to reply to see if that's allowed, first.
*awaits Rosey's all-knowingness*


Go for it!

Wait, so after she's shipped of she's gone from the book forever? O__O Can you explain this to me, Rosey?


Oops. Full sentence was "shipped off to the palace"

And also, wherever the setting is, most of the woman or people in general wore shemaghs, or some sort of garment that protects their neck and face from the sun.


*Thinks* I think in Turkey they did that. Not sure though, since whatever men used to cover their faces, women kinda did double unless they were at home. Although I'm wondering if married women and single women were treated differently, but I don't think so.

Maybe Etheopia does that...

I think they'd also use it more to protect themselves from the dust.

and also because her family is safe because she's sacrificing herself instead.


This happiness might be somewhat redundant, since if her family is over 35, they wouldn't be at risk in the first place. Unless she has other siblings.

She used a different name to protect her identity or something. Haven't decided.


Mkay, so here, if they think the brother is safe, they might have vanished and shown up under different names to protect all of their identities. Surely there is some log of who the captured people were and are, no?

But something like that will prevent the "boy being fascinated by girl" thing from being cliche. They don't fall in love, they're related. And the whole time they were put into slavery because they thought doing so would keep the other from being a slave.


Ahh, nice. This would be some interesting emotional twists in here.

Or maybe they hear from a fortune teller (gypsy? did they exist there?)


Hmm, I think so. Fortune tellers certainly did.

Haven't decided the ending. But they'll probably try to escape. Or maybe they hear from a fortune teller (gypsy? did they exist there?) that the valley the kingdom is in will flood and they try to rescue the empire? Does it work? Probably not. Or they just try to escape.


Dunno. The ending feels a little anti-climactic compared to the set up. I mean, MC who thinks his ruler has his sister, he then finds his sister, and they just try to escape? How about the MC trying to find out what girl is actually captured, who she is, if she has a family, if she can resist magic, ect.

What might also be cool his him trying to break up the Charmers, and ruin the emperor's operation.

And just some stuff on your words...

Sultan- Usually ruler of an Middle Eastern empire
Turban- Worn by most... Muslim rulers
Sari- Six-yard long piece of fabric women wear in India. The end is usually over the head.

Hope this helps some more!

~Rosey
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Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:37 pm
Angels-Symphony says...



More Notes on this:

George realizing the errors of his ways and working to undo the damage.

George was taken while his sister wasn't in the village.

His sister comes to the kingdom willingly to find her brother or find out more about him, or possibly because she thinks she's protecting him by sacrificing herself. They are possibly fraternal twins.

If charmers are used, the kingdom would be a mirage, and the people would actually want to go to the kingdom.

King rounds up children in that village because he heard another charmer is there, or maybe only gets the charmer, or possibly rounds them all up before realizing there's another charmer. Or he just rounds up that village with no specific reason.

Bob is sent away because his family knows he his a charmer, he ends up getting captured, but sister still thinks he is safe. He is either captured because he helps someone and is ratted out, a friend rats him out, or someone spots him and rats him out. Possibly, another charmer can track him down. Either specializing in manipulating other charmers, or the other way around. Bob isn't put under the spell when he comes to each village, and they know he's a charmer that way.
Maybe part of being a charmer means having an ability to attract snakes.

The other problem is the king taking the sister as hostage. The king says he has his sister from the village, but actually doesn't. How would he trick George?

I thought of memory extracting and memory altering. Perhaps one of the charmers has the ability to alter memories, taint them. Or simply extracting them and returning them. He could remove all of the good memories. Maybe give George false images of his family and sister.
You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself into one.

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Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:06 pm
Angels-Symphony says...



Rosey suggested that George's memories be tainted in a different way. The king gets a girl who looks like George somewhat and alter both their memories so they think they're related. xD Genius! The charmer who can alter memories was actually on George's side, though he doesn't show it.

The sister can't recognize George because of his new name and the change of aura.

And as for George doing the sultan's dirty work. The sultan wants to /be/ a god, therefore, he uses the charmers to manipulate the minds of the people he brings to his empire and sends them to destroy other kingdoms or kill their rulers?

He wants to /seem/ like the all-powerful ruler.

Also, he'd need some sort of power. Possibly the propaganda during depressions here. He promises good things in a time of depression.


-Shina
You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself into one.

The writer, when he is also an artist, is someone who admits what others don't dare reveal.
  





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Mon Aug 10, 2009 7:07 am
Angels-Symphony says...



xD Edited.
You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself into one.

The writer, when he is also an artist, is someone who admits what others don't dare reveal.
  








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