Young Writers Society

Before I post a synopsis here, I'm going to ask, is there some sort of online "quiz", like the Mary Sue tests, that I could take? I know there are cliche tests for characters, but I can't find any for plots.

If not, I'll post a summary.

Not that I know of.

Post a summary, and we'll try and help you out.

This is my favourite cliche list, mostly because it has plot ones in there too.

Hope that helps you. ^^

~Rosey

Well, there are only a couple parts that I'm worried about, so I'll just post them.

Early in the story, Xavier sees Lily (a girl he saw in a dream before they met) vanish into thin air. He follows, and vanishes himself. He finds himself on a beach. Later, he learns it's another world.

Ladada. Oh yeah, Lily gets captured and Xavier meets Merenor, a small lizard who knows much more than he lets on.

After rescuing Lily from the clutches of King Dracerler and Tylandi, they travel to Ciar Nelova, because they've heard that that's the key to getting home. The ruler of the city, Lord Latrapi, tells them that he can't send them back because it would exhaust their spellcasters, and they need them because King Dracerler plans to invade. However, Lily is already home, because Merenor tells her that she is Lord Latrapi's daughter. I've dropped hints that she's important, and has ties to this other world throughout the story.
That's the big worry here. They sent her to Earth because it was said that she would find an object that would mark her, and allow her to discover the location of a powerful artifact, and they didn't want anyone to use her for evil purposes. Her returning happened by will of Tylandi, the sorcerer who serves King Dracerler, because he wanted her to find this object and tell him where the artifact is.

(Since no one else has replied.)

This might be helpful to you:

http://www.rinkworks.com/fnovel/

But really, that's inaccurate; as long as you're careful, even the most overused things can be done originally. Here're are some tips. Take 'em or leave 'em.

Early in the story, Xavier sees Lily (a girl he saw in a dream before they met) vanish into thin air

How, exactly, do you follow someone who vanishes?

After rescuing Lily from the clutches of King Dracerler and Tylandi

Cliché: evil king is thwarted. This can obviously be done originally, but be careful. Give the king a good motive.

The ruler of the city, Lord Latrapi, tells them that he can't send them back because it would exhaust their spellcasters, and they need them because King Dracerler plans to invade.

Lords require royalty to be lords. I think. Lord Latrapi has no king, and so I struggle to see how this would work.

who knows much more than he lets on.

This is a big cliché. Why is he hiding this? Isn't this just cheating/annoying the reader?

However, Lily is already home, because Merenor tells her that she is Lord Latrapi's daughter.

This would need careful explanation as to how everything links together. Also, why does this mean she went back suddenly?

the sorcerer who serves King Dracerler, because he wanted her to find this object and tell him where the artifact is.

I see what you mean. As is it stands, yeah, I've seen this too many times before. BUT. If you give this character a very strong story and motives - lots of motives - and also motives that we can sympathise with, which would mean some serious plot development, there's nothing to worry about. The key is to not let things just randomly be. Everything needs reason, I'd say. =)

Good luck! I'll just... ramble myself away.

Blink wrote:
But really, that's inaccurate; as long as you're careful, even the most overused things can be done originally.

This was exactly what I was gonna say before Blink came in here haha. I read your ideas, Merlin, and to be honest, Blink hit it dead on. You can always make up for cliche'd ideas with great storytelling, characterization, imagery, and really, really get your readers into the story. If you can do that, then they won't really question the cliches at all. They may not be crazy about them (who is, though?) but they'll forget about them because you've written it so well.

Good luck with that bro. It sounded like an interesting story, actually. Is it here on YWS? In the Advanced Critiques section?

It's in the AC section, but that version is WAY outdated. I have added a lot of stuff.

Could you pm me if you update it then? I'm curious now.

Not done rewriting. There are about 7 unfinished scenes. I put a "1D1" wherever there's an unfinished scene, so I can easily jump to them with Ctrl+F.